i got all scary again today..
i hate it when i do that... it's just annoying...
before you immediately judge, i am not a cutter. i do not have thoughts of suicide. i don't want to hurt myself. i am not a goth, nor do i complain "i hate my life!" because i have no reason to.
well now that we have that cleared up.
i was sort of lying on my bed in one of those apathetic moods, having just finished a picture in my sketchbook and listening to music. then one of those odd things happened... i start thinking with some surprise how close death is in one's own house. for example: isopropyl alcohol. seems harmless enough but if you ingest it you'll die a very slow and painful death.
it's too damned easy to kill yourself without thinking it through.
i was thinking: those people who do commit suicide, do they panic at the last minute and wonder why they went through with it? once it's too late and whatever they've done is already killing them? like poison. while it shuts down their system do they wonder what would've happened if they'd only given life another try?
what is it that makes people so careless that they would kill someone else or themselves..
i can understand in a very few cases why someone would want to kill themselves... but... for instance many people on the otaku. they don't seem to me to have enough of a reason. but they're always saying how they wish they were dead.
death is FINAL, people. it's not something you reach for to get sympathy or attention. once you're in it you're in it and you can't get out again.
(this is getting preachy.. pretend i'm talking to someone else, not you... because i'm not preaching to you)
it's insulting to the people close to you to say you hate your life. it's scaring them to say you want to die.
i'm not sure why all this is going in my head and out my mouth. it's just that i see so many people who proclaim "i have the worst life ever and i want to end it"
i understand that looking tragic is supposed to be attractive and mysterious. i understand that. i understand that it feels "cool" to be "dark". i've been through that too.
anyway.. i'm going to shut up now... because i've the feeling that i may have just offended everybody alive...
blame three days grace and slight depression.
gotta go now, i'm shutting up.
