*sighs*
well yesterday was not such a great day.
left school early to go to a dermatologist appointment. they made me wait a long time then told me a bunch of useless stuff then poked me with needles. YAY. anybody else who's had blood taken can testify as to how fun it is. then, mom asked if i wanted to get my hair trimmed, it'd been more than half a year since the last time not to mention the fact that i had horrible split ends.
now.. the split ends are a result of my.. well.. neglect of my hair, i guess
i don't obsess over it like most girls, i don't get forty-dollar shampoo and stuff, and i don't worry that much about ripping a brush through it
this has cost me.. everything *drama*
-_-
my hair was really long. i've always wanted long hair, and it's really slow-growing, so here at age fourteen it had finally started to grow out. i LOVED it. it was the only part of my physical appearance that i always like, even in the morning (-_-) so.. i got there.. i knew i'd probably have to get a few inches taken off it... so marty took and showed me how much he'd have to take off to get rid of the split ends. i was horrified. it was like.. four inches or more, i tell you. i let him do it.. because.. if i left the split ends alone, they'd grow out and get worse and worse and frizzier and frizzier. so.. in my eyes, i lost like half my hair=_=
it's now only down to my shoulder blades in the back, and i'm devastated. as soon as we got out the door i started crying and kept crying off and on all day long and half the night. nobody knew what the hell was wrong with me. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me! hair grows back, and it's not THAT short really...
but i just can't even THINK about it anymore without wanting to cry=_= every time i seem to reach that goal of the length of hair i've wanted since i was four, i have to get half of it chopped off. i look in the mirror now and see myself with this (to me) short hair and i hate it. everybody tells me it looks good-- i shouldn't be upset. it's not a bad haircut, it's fine. but not for me. i think about that hair i'd hide behind, and that covered my shoulders and my back like a web, and that gets in the way all the time, and i just want to cry. this time, i'm being more careful. even if it means actually taking time to do all that tedious hair-care stuff, i'm doing it. i can't stand to lose it again.
...and now i am done with my melodrama. i stayed home from school today because the lingering effects of crying all night made me feel sick. yes, i am insane. *sighs*. good day to all.
here it is, how i look now; undoubtedly you like everyone else will say "that IS long!" ..or if you see me frequently "but it doesn't look any different!" *sighs again*.
shit(aki mushrooms) happens