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• biscuitbandit02
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• Elfayre

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Gender
• Female
Member Since
• 2005-04-19
Occupation
• Hostessing at an Irish pub
Real Name
• Naia

Personal

Achievements
• Finding the love of my life at an early age
Anime Fan Since
• I was about three and saw My Neighbor Totoro.
Favorite Anime
• Any of Miyazaki's work
Hobbies
• Fencing, drawing, writing, reading
Talents
• Being antisocial




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myOtaku.com: ShadowsCastByDusk


Tuesday, November 7, 2006

so... not doing great
yeah...
my grandfather died today..
the worst part of it is.. i could have talked to him this weekend.. i talked to my grandmother but not him, i think he was sleeping at the time..
but.. i hadn't talked to him in a long time.. not a chance to tell him i loved him
it's not really a shock that he died.. he had cancer.. but it was the treatment that killed him
and just like when my grandmother on the other side of my family died...
there's a lot of regret that comes with the sadness
that i didn't know either of them as well as i would've liked to... they both lived a fair distance away so we only saw them once a year or less..
and... they're selling my grandparents' house.. my grandmother's going to live with my aunt
that house..
was always full of books
literally
there were whole rooms you couldn't go into because they were completely full of books, and all the other rooms were overcrowded with them too
..and now i'm making myself cry again
damn it all
i hate this...
i remember when i was a lot younger grammy (what i call my grandmother) telling me that when she died she'd leave me that big dollhouse my mom made her
and i said i didn't want it because i didn't want her to die
and now since she's moving out she'll probably give it to me
well guess what
i still don't want it
i hate that this had to happen
why did it happen?
and i'm really afraid my grandmother's going to follow soon after
she's got cancer too, and she's had it for much longer
okay.. i'm finished
fact is i don't have anything left to say.
so goodbye, and i hope things are going better for you all at this time.

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