Wednesday, November 8, 2006

   Its Days like these that I wonder why I even try...

Time: 6:21 a.m. Mood: Sad/Self-pity/Self-loathing Listening To: That new Green Day song. "The Saints Are Coming" or something like that. Hey Everyone. I thought I'd just pop in for a quick update to let you guys know how I'm doing(not that you really want to hear my whining anyway) but here goes! On with the post! XxThe EndxX ...Is a song by Bullet For My Valentine. But that's not what I'm talking about. Me and one of my online friends are finally over. I think I finally pissed him off bad enough that he won't come back, and I'm too stubborn and proud to beg, grovel, and apologize. But where the hell does he get off saying I am nothing compared to his girlfriend? Made me feel like shit, but what can I say? I started it. I came into chat ranting about how much of a bastard guys can be, and I stuck him in with the rest, knowing fully that HE IS. He's told me, he doesn't lie. And I wondered in the fuck I could be so damn stupid to even think that it could work. Cause it can't. He's horrid. Then. . . I don't even want to talk about the other guy. I just don't even know anymore. -tries not to have an emotional breakdown- XxWorkxX I turned in my two week notice. I'm quitting. To go to a job that doesn't pay more, but they told me I could have any day I needed off. So, I'm like, YAY! Good. Now I'll get my grades back up. I'm failing. -sighs again- Two out of four of my classes. Its not good. Not good at all. I gotta catch up. I need a break. We just HAD a fall break. But its not enough. I need a break from everything, like we had yesterday. XxNikkixX My friend. She and I hung out behind my house in the pooring rain in a cow field for over two hours just talking. I'm sicker cause of it, but it was worth it. It sort of gave me the release I needed. I screamed(not necessarily at her) and raged, and ranted about my life, her brother(the bastard that I don't even want to deal with), and then she'd rant, and it was all good in the end. It was great. I'd do it all over again. I'm thankful for who I have and what I have. But sometimes it gets too much. XxPicture TimexX Ok, I've wasted enough of your time as it is, so here are the pictures of the day: Ok that's all for today. Enjoy yourselves. ^^ XxShadowxX

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Sunday, November 5, 2006

   Why isn't there a Sick little emoticon? ...

Time: 12:22 p.m. Mood: Sickly Listening To: Hinder-"Better Than Me" Hey everyone. Updating again. I'd like to say thanks first of all to everyone who gave me their advice and support. You all are really great and I don't know what I'd do without you. Now on with the post! XxSICKNESSxX Yes, my friendlies. I'm sick as a dog. I can't breathe or speak or any of that. I'm horribly tired, and I just want to lay down and sleep. But you know what? I have to go into work in about thirty minutes. That just blows. So this shall be a quick update. XxONE YEARxX Today marks the one year anniversary for my friend celestial69 since she has joined myotaku. So everyone and anyone pop over there for a congrats, pleasers. ^_^ I'm the one that introduced her to this site, and she has kept up with it faithfully...which is very good, cause she gets bored easily. ^.~ Love you Cellie!!!! XxLifexX Ah...I don't know what to say. I'm just trying to survive. ^_^' I'm supposed to be hanging out with a friend after work, so I hope that works out. And...really that's it. Oh! I'm almost finished reading this book. Its called, "Twilight." and its a vampire romance rated for CHILDREN. Eesh. Not these trashy porn books I tend to read. xD Anyway, its really good so far, and I love how the author portrays the vampires. Its really quite different than anything I've read. There's also a sequel that me and Cellie want to check out. ^_^ P.S: Check back later for piccies. Sorry I have to go to work now, I'm going to be late! ^__^ ~Shadow~

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Saturday, November 4, 2006

   Online Relationships, Blood, and The Unexplained...-not as promising as it sounds, trust me-

Time: 9:45 a.m. Mood: Tired/Numb Listening To: Breaking Benjamin-"Had Enough" (I love their new CD, but Celestial69 doesn't think its anything special. -_-'') Hey Everyone! How's it going?!!! I'm updating again, its scary I know. I was going to update last night, but I didn't feel like it, too tired from our football game, which we won! ^_^ NOW ON WITH THE POST! XxOnline RelationshipsxX ...yeah I know, its a weird thing to be posting about. But recently, I was asked by two, no, three people if I believe in Online Relationships. I really don't know why these people keep coming to me for advice and the whatnot, considering I have NO experience in the relationship department anyway, but here goes. I DO believe in Online Relationships, but only if both people in the relationship can make it work. Its just like any other relationship, but of course with a major setback. Not getting to see each other on a regular basis, if at all. You just have to believe it will work. One of my good online friends that I've chatted with and webcammed with for about 6 months now, he asked me if we could be an online couple. I was like, "-shrugs- It wouldn't change anything would it?" and he was like, "True." So see? It will work between us though, because we both have the same zodiac symbol. Taurus...I'm KIDDING. I mean that's true, but that't not why we work well together. I don't know, we just do, I guess. And we fight! LORDY LORD HOW WE FIGHT! But it all works out in the end. So all is good. But you just gotta realize that you may never meet this person, and prepare to accept that fact. ^_^ XxBloodxX YES! ME AND CELESTIAL69 HAVE BECOME ATTACHED! To the hidden track on My Chemical Romance's CD, "The Black Parade" there is a song called Blood, and its a really peppy(and short) song, and I shall post the lyrics. ^_^ Me and her plan on learning the lyrics this weekend, and then skipping arm and arm down the hall singing it on Wednesday when go back. OH YEAH! WE HAVE A FOUR DAY WEEKEND! -dances- XxUnExplainedxX ...tis how I feel. Like I can't explain anything. I'm just going through the motions again, but that's ok for the moment, I'm content to do that. But I'm worried. About...so many things. People, myself, my family, my life is slipping, and I want to get back on track. Its scaring the shit out of me. -sighs- Anyway, here are you pictures for the day: o.O; I LOVE IT! ^_^ .... I thought this was very pretty Dragon SLAYER! Aww... OKIES THAT'S ALL FOR NOW! LOVE YOU GUYS! ~Shadow~

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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

   Black Parades, Whorey Pirates, and Stupidity

Time: 8:49 a.m Mood: Numb/Slightly Happy Listening To: Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance Hey everyone. I'm finally updating a normal update. I'm sorry that its been so long. But so many things have happened lately, some really bad, others...were ok. XxBlack ParadexX Over the weekend, my mom was nice enough to go buy me the new My Chemical Romance CD, The Black Parade. I love it. ^^' I mean, there are of course songs that I like more than others, and there is two songs out of the CD I don't much care for. But what I found interesting, is there is a hidden track on the CD, that isn't listed on the case or on the CD, or in the booklet or nothing. I've also come to find out that the name of it is "Blood" I find it to be very entertaining and was LMAO when I first heard it. XxHalloweenxX I know I'm a day late, but HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone! ^^ I went trick or treating with a friend of mine, and I was a pirate. I have pictures. I will post eventually. We had fun, and I got alot of candy. So how did everyone's Halloween go? XxStupidityxX This next part starts off with a general question to EVERYONE. Have any of you ever been used by the opposite sex? Ever been lead on, or maybe lead on someone else? That's the biggie for today, and a very hard lesson that I've had to learn over the past week or so. Is that if you let them, certain people will take advantage of your feelings, and your trust, then totally toss you aside once they have gotten what they wanted. I let someone use me because I cared for them, and I thought they cared about me, until they got...something they wanted(no, it wasn't sex -_-'') but it might as well have been as bad. -sighs- Its partly my fault. I could have said no, but I thought, he wouldn't be asking me if he didn't like me at least a little right? I was so wrong...-looks down- I feel like a fool, and I should, because I did something so incredibly stupid, and now I'm beating myself up over it, constantly. But, my friends say its not completely my fault, because he was there too, and he ASKED me first. But I could have said no. I'm sorry you guys, I know you people would rather look at some pretty pictures or something, so here you guys go, and thanks for being there. P.S: I'll try to get to everyone's sites today, no promises. Piccies: For you Darke-kun! ^__^ Hope everyone has a nice day! ~Shadow~

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Monday, October 23, 2006

another update! I am alive!

Time: 2:40 p.m. Mood: Stressed/Freaked Out Listening To: Background Noise, and my conscience. AH! I am alive! No piccies again. I'm sorry. I'm at school. I should really be doing my articles...oh well. -shrugs- So how is everyone? me? I'm...well, not so great. I'm stressed, freaked out, and OMG! Just stuff. I don't even know anymore. I just...want to go hide in a hole, never come out again. AH! Anyway, that's really all for today. I don't know how long I'll keep it. Its making my grades start to slip and I'm falling asleep in class. And I have a thing about working on Friday and Saturday nights! AH! I have friends Damn it! I can't work and hang out with them at the same time, and I refuse to grow up! o.O; Ok...now that's out of my system. See you guys around! and I shall try to get a proper post up for you all soon! (those of you that still visit anyway) ~Shadow~

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

   Quick Update (not very many people will read, I know -_-'')

Time: 3:52 p.m. Mood: Stressed/Lonely/Sad Listening To: the voices inside my head. Quicky updatey people. No I won't be checking sites, so I apologize right off hand. I probably will check them all on Sunday. I may repost this thing a couple of times just to let everyone know, cause I know that some people don't check theotaku everyday, using me as an example. Now...anyway, as you know, I have a job. I love it. I get to spin pretzels and use the cash register. It rocks. ^__^ Today is the only day I get off. I had to work yesterday and monday, and I have to work tomorrow, friday and saturday. But I'm getting good hours, so...alls good there and such. ^__^ I talked to my crush today. Again. Actually talked for once, but after school we joked around, or rather he stood there and made fun of me. ^^'' Everytime he'd say something mean, one of my friends would go, "DUDE! Its (My name has been deleted for personal reasons)!!! Why would you say that?!" xDDDD and he'd be like, I'm kidding....^^' LOL. I LOVE HIM...-wants to like uberly glomp the hell out of him- Ok. *AHEM* anyway, I'm off for now. Just wanted to let you guys know I'm alive. ^^ Well, gotta go. ^^ ~Shadow~

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

   I can't believe I missed Friday the 13th...;_;

Time: 1:34 a.m. Mood: scared shitless/happy as hell/mildy stressed Listening To: Spike TV 2006 Scream Awards Yeah...I totally missed Friday. Totally forgot what day it was til yesterday! XD Alot has happened, so this will probably be a very long post. ^^;;; XxFRIDAYxX I went to the dentist and that took half of the day. Got my teeth cleaned. I hate doing that. Um... then we went to the mall, for shopping to waste time before the movie, my mom and cousin were going to see the Grudge 2 and I was going to go with them. (now I want to show you how Karma affects us all) I see my friends, so I basically ditch my mom and cousin to go hang out with them. But around 7:30 or so, while my mom and cousin are in the movie, MY FRIENDS DITCH ME TO GO SEE ONE. So here I am...stuck with weirdo guy with nipple ring and scariness for two hours. o.o; Nah, he was ok...he was great. So nice and fun to hang out with, and so are his friends. XD But yeah, that was nice.... XxTODAYxX WOW...went to a festival. Saw things...twas not that interesting. WHAT WAS though...was the cornmaze we went to in the evening...CAUSE OH MY FUCKING GOD...so scary. its 45 minutes long, and the three hour wait and 12 bucks was worth it. There were scary Chainsaw wielding bloodied men in masks, Michael Myers personally just HAD TO stalk me, and there were so many other things in that maze..GOOD GOD...I was terrified. But it was so much fun. XDDD -squeals- I don't know if I would ever go again though or not. ANYWAY...that's all for- OH WAIT. One more thing: I have a job now. Wow...I know! Its at a pretzel place in the mall...>.<; I start Monday...and work from 5 til 9(or closing). I do that all week, except wednesday...I get that day off. And then on Saturday, I work 12-3 in the afternoon. So...I don't know when I shall be updating again. I don't even know when I shall be able to do my homework again....;_; I'm stressed again. -sighs- Well, here are the piccies for the day: MICHAEL MEYERS...good god he was scary. That's all for now. See you guys on the next update! If you read this. ~Shadow~

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

   ButterPecan pancakes, Leatherman, and Free Sex! -Warning: this post is not for mature audiences only...but READ at your own risk-

Time: 5:30 p.m. Mood: Happy/Touchy-Feely Listening To: Nothing at the moment...TV. Hello everyone!!!!! -glomps the entire otaku population- HOW GOES IT?! I suppose I should start the post, shouldn't I? WELL....ButterPecan pancakes. Something one of my reefer loving(thanks for the new nickname Legacyof ^.~) friends figured out that if you put butterpecan icecream on top of a pancake with syrup, its the best thing since sliced bread. XDDD And also, this same friend who is normally a very calm individual, was very excited about his new leather jacket, and now Celestial69 is going to dub him, LEATHERMAN!!! xDDD I love Cellie. really I do. And as for the other notable thing that happened over the course of this last week, I must comment upon celestial69 once again. I'm standing at my other friend's locker, when Cellie comes running up to me, saying rather loudly, "Sex is better when its FREE!" so...I say the first thing that pops into my silly little head, and I say, "OH...yeah, so that's why I'm a HO and not a whore!!!" xDD they all started cracking up. Now...the story behind that...everyone calls me a whore, in a joking manner, because everyone knows I'm a virgin, so they must tease me. Just like me calling my friend Megan(who's slightly obese) a anoxeric Bulimic. xD (sorry if I offended anyone out there...^^;;;) BUT ANYWAY...that's all for today. HOPE YOU COMMENT. You know you want to. ^.~ Or at least look at the pics: THIS IS SO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xD cuteness! From Ceres: The Celestial Legend. a new manga that I'm obsessed with. ^^ OMG...the elfgirl in this picture has MY EXACT COSTUME THAT I AM WEARING FOR HALLOWEEN ON! I KID YOU NOT! IT FREAKED ME OUT! Once AGAIN...WTH?!!!! o.O; I love this picture. ^^; And for the ladies. ^.~ Right. That's all for now. ^__^ I'll get to sites and see you on the next update. ^^ ~Shadow~ P.S: Quick EDIT. My friend The_Assassin had this quiz on his site, so I took it. Here are my results (they are bad, I know) Greed: Medium   Gluttony: Medium   Wrath: Medium   Sloth: High   Envy: High   Lust: Medium   Pride: Medium   Discover Your Sins - Click Here

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Sunday, October 8, 2006

Evanescence, heartagram, and saloon girl.

Time: 2:32 p.m. Mood: Happy/Slow Listening To; "Lithium" -Evanescence The subject line pretty sums up my Saturday after I posted. We went to our local costume store, and I found these two costumes that were technically Saloon Girl Costumes, but one could double as a vampire costume. I almost cried when it didn't fit me the way it should. Today we are going back up there to look some more and find me one for Halloween. I want to be something really gothic, not necessarily a vampire, but something poofy. They also had a Scarlet O'Hara Costume which I almost got, but I don't know...-shakes head- Then...I went to the mall yesterday, as I had planned. O.o; Boy, I really don't know many people as I thought I did. But Valerie(my mall buddy) changed all that. I met many different people. We actually hung outside the mall, not really inside. One guy in particular I gotta mention cause his name was Seph. I kid you not. Made me think of Sephiroth. o.O;;; But what really scarred me for life, would have to be when he would periodically flash his nipple ring and the heartagram tattoo around his nipple. -le sigh- He was pretty cool though, although I was a bit uneasy because the first thing Valerie said to me as I met him was, "She's a minor." I was like O.O;;;; WTF?! But yeah...and then at 10:30 at night, I'm sitting in McDonalds with Valerie and two of my new friends, watching a couple of idiots drag this guy around on a skateboard using their car...I called my mom and made her go get me the new Evanescence CD. XD She was at Walmart anyway, so go figure. So now I have it. I love it. ^_^ Its definitely different from her other ones. OK...yeah, that was definitely a long ass post, and I apologize. -bows- Here are the daily pictures and song lyrics. I know I know that there is enough of Gerard on the site, but THIS! is just too good to pass up: Can you name them all correctly? They are the chibis from Fruits Basket!!!! ^_^ THEN the pic of the cuteness: xXL_Y_R_I_C_SXx "Lithium" -Evanescence *NOTE* I had to type these out because the song is so new. Tis off their new album, The Open Door. Go buy, tis worth the money. Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside Lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without Lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow Oh but God I want to let it go Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone Couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show Never wanted it to be so cold Just didn't drink enough to say you love me I can't hold on to me Wonder what's wrong with me Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside Lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without Lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow Don't want to let it lay me down this time Drown my will to fly Here in the darkness I know myself Can't break free until I let it go Let me go Darling, I forgive you after all Anything is better than to be alone And in the end I guess I had to fall Always find my place among the ashes I can't hold on to me Wonder what's wrong with me Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside Lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without Lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow Oh but God I want to let it go Hope everyone had a good weekend, and see you on the next updated!

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Saturday, October 7, 2006

   And I thought I was going to have a Lazy Day...

Time: 10:01 a.m. Mood: Humorous/Sad Listening To: "Panic Prone"-Chevelle Hello everyone! -waves- Yesterday was our homecoming game and we kicked ass! 44 to NOTHING!!!!! Although the opposing team always sucks, I kinda felt bad. Overall though, it was a pretty boring game. -_-'' I pretty much walked around the whole time with my psychotic friendlies, one of them actually bloodied my face earlier yesterday after school. She scratched my face trying to tackle me and I start bleeding from Cheek to upper lip. ;_; It looked like I had gotten punched in the face. ANYWAY...other than that, I'm doing ok I suppose. Going to the mall tonight to hang out with a couple of friends. I'll probably see the guy I like there. I'm trying to forget about him, he's just not worth it anymore, but everytime I see him, I still get that thought, "OMG its HIM..." so...-le sigh- That's about the biggest thing that's happened, so I'm going to go now. Here are the piccies and the lyrics for today: "Panic Prone" -Chevelle Gave in Again The bastard Can't keep refusing rights So he'll loan the cash But the sin Is on the hands of you [Chorus:] So to care or Plead silence, weak hands are calling There's close enough And there's too far It won't change an empty stare But I can't seem to end These images Hauntingly looks like hell [Chorus] Come, Enter the foreign. Face, All that's shameful. Cheat, May the past find Out; Separating... [Chorus] To end this catastrophic scene awake and breathe in HAVE A NICE DAY! I WILL CHECK THE SITES THIS EVENING! ^.~ ~Shadow-chan

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