Monday, August 8, 2005

Jus randomness
think of nothing...have you thought about it yet...you cant can you,...you always are constantly thinkin bout somethin, right...take me for example(...nothing...air...park...picnic...food...burger king..., therefore an so on.) the point is it is impossible for us to think of nothing, why, simply because we dont understand what nothin is. we might have an idea, but that still isnt right, because even that is SOMETHING. we cannot be the most intelligent of beings, unless we concieve what nothin is. If it was this that we conceive we wouldnt have free will either. think about it. if you can think of nothing, you are at peace with yourself, having literally no emotion. meanin nothin can bother, and at the same time, nothin can make you happy either. therefore you are a doll with no thoughts, so you will always think of nothing, your lifeless, no will at all, thus you arent human, and as such you couldnt possibly be the most intelligent of creatures would you? what a predicament huh...I guess im happy to be an ignorant creature to infect this cursed world...have a nice day.
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Thursday, August 4, 2005

Hiyas

how are ya'll today, me tryin to call someone, but phone line is busy. damn those talkin to her when im more important... O.o ... no im not I jus want to get biznes goin. n-e-wayz, I gots a new thought. simple things, yeah simple things. you now I was at a program about a week ago, an they was making bubbles from soap, and that made em happy. but then I thught bubbles:

bubbles represent the bitch called life. you can look at it as pleasure, not sex ya perves. pleasure brings happiness. but it eventually dissappears. it can be your life span, it can be a long time before it pops, or it will pop before it even begins. either way it will pop. a bit morbid but true nonetheless. we will all die, something great to look forward to.
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Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Deep in my thought!!!

You know, I was thinkin. An what I was thinkin, for those who believe, they want to go to heaven. But at the same time, they dont want to die. What a predicament. so if you want to go to heaven, you got's to die. If you wish to live, you refuse the chance to go to heaven. Why is it that we ignorant humans who walk this cursed earth are so damn greedy. We dont jus want one thing, we want it all, even if we know that it is impossible to have it all. Jus thoughts, not neccarily what I spend my time on. I'll try to get to as many ppl as I can today.
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Friday, July 29, 2005

damn it !!!

it's gettin late, an' I got's to get up early to get ready to be on a panel tomorrows. yes, yes i am becoming somewhat important to my community, little do tey know I will bring their downfall muhahahahaaa. O.o . the thing is that it dont start till maybe 10:30 or something, but the lady wants to pick me up at 7:00, which is hella early for me, especially in the summer. anyways, my nightmare still has my ass trippin. N-e-wayz i'll leave ya'll with a poem I came up with, inspired by who knows what...maybe perverted people who have a one track mind...

It’s not the size which does matter!!!

Some desire for 10 inches,
And others even ask for 15,
It can leave them with stitches,
When it opens their flesh,
But within you it travels,
It makes a deep hole,
Your innocence it unravels,
But you don’t really care,
There’s a smile on your face,
Your filled with great pleasure,
And all at your pace,
Strange are we people,
Who seek joy through this pain,
It’s not the size which does matter,
I say this so simple and plain,
Sure the bigger the better,
It all leads to much fun,
But if you ask me,
I don’t care about the gun,
It’s the bullet inside!!!
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Hello
Sorry I havent been here in awhile, been a bit busy. oh yeah the post down here is a nigtmare I had today, if you decide to read it, which I hope you do, tell me what you think it means cuzz I dont really dream. And if I do, it ends up happening like telling the future or whatever, but not by choice.
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Now here's something differnt
Nightmare

I had a dream, and with this dream, I have come to understand what true fear is. No phobia can compare to the feeling I was overcome with. This cursed dream torments me, even after I have stepped into the world of reality. The cries of pain, of the agony…I don’t believe the power this dream has on me. Even now as I begin to unravel my story, I cannot seem to type right because my fingers still shake in terror. It was a normal day, nothing so ill…,I cannot find the proper word to fit what happened, could have been predicted. I was just about to leave the school from an after school program. Information about the program is irrelevant to the story. The bus ride was strange as everything gets exaggerated in a dream. Speaking of which, the city I seemed to be in wasn’t my hometown of K.C.MO, but a strange land to me. It seemed like a prospering city, but unlike the other cities, I saw no graffiti, no bums, no violence. Hmmm…to top it off the building were all white to boot. Every building looked so unnaturally peaceful, it seemed that not even a dream could conceive this alternated reality… And so it came, my moment to hop my bewildered ass out of the bus with two companions, both male. Our stop was no where near my house, even though I did not know where my house was in this strange new land. One of my companions was more silent than I, you asked him a question he answers yes or no, nothing more, we will call him Jorge. The other spoke as much as I. but this one was stranger than even I, in ways I couldn’t even begin to explain, we will call this one Marco. As we crusaded through the new city, I was disturbed at the sight of churches maybe 3 blocks away in every direction. I thought to myself why so many churches, I know people are religious, but this was and exaggeration. As we continued our short journey in silence, we came to a dramatic stop. The reason being was my companion Marco eased himself by acquiring a vacuum cleaner, which he could mount on his back. It was more like a blow-dryer, because it could spit out a liquid. Speaking of which, it was not just liquid, it was holy water which he chose as his ammunition. I thought it crazy for I thought there are plenty of churches around in which to seek refuge should something happen. As he became more secure with his new found weapon, we continued our crusade across this to good to be true city, we reached a highway splitting the city in two. We crossed this highway and came to the end of the happy land, and came into the slums of the great city, with no churches in sight. We walked for awhile until we reached a narrow path. It couldn’t have been more than 6.5 feet as we walked shoulder to shoulder, leaving 5 inches in between. As we pressed forward I couldn’t help but notice the place was depressing in a higher degree that I have come across. Though the houses were white as well, they did not bring any comfort as in the city, it was only a menacing and threatening feeling that they perceived. At first there was no sound, no sound at all, no birds, no dogs, no people, no nothing. Now that I think about it not even in the city was there ever sound, except for the wind, and our voices when we spoke of things I would rather not mention. I grew into deep thought, surely they as well have realized the silence. When all of a sudden we heard dogs barking, maybe two or three blocks away, I was sort of relieved, maybe it was only misfortune that we had come across no other of our people. As we continued down the narrow path I only observed as much as I could. What I saw was trees that looked as if they were ready to fall on us even though they seemed firmly planted in the ground at the same time. I noticed every window in sight have been shattered, and no one even bothered to clean up. As I looked further down the alley behind the houses in which we walked, I noticed that we had a rather long path ahead of us that seemed to have no end, just then we heard a women yelling. We all paused and it seems we all thought the same thing, This poor women was getting raped. We decided in silence that there was nothing we could do for we did not know where her screams were coming from, so we continued down our path…The sound of her screams still echoed within the confinement of my mind after we were well off about four blocks away from where we stood when we first heard her screams. I turned to look back, trying my best to ignore the screams still ringing in my head even after it‘s silence, and saw that we had come a long way as I could no longer even begin to see the highway. When I turned back around, my heart completely dropped at the new sound. There was a forest in front of us, who knew where came from all of a sudden. The new sound was of another women crying out in so much pain so much agony, it brought tears to my eyes as I heard what seemed to be a women going through unimaginable torture. Her screams were loud and clear, even though she seemed to be far, you could hear the changes in her tone of voice. You could hear every detail of her screams, what I heard is something that could only be heard in the depths of HELL. The strange one Marco jumped into the forest in an act of heroism, though I sincerely doubt he survived his first step because he disappeared. The silent one Jorge stood as a stone statue, it didn’t even seem he was breathing. Tormented by the sounds I heard, I feared that Hell had found a path to our land of the walking, and that the people of these slums, this city where the first to go. I feared for my life, and somehow found the strength to move my legs to turn around and run…And so it be that I awoke to the world of reality. This dream, this nightmare seemed so real. It gave me a new definition to what fear is. Reader whom ever you may be, I swear that no screams could compare to that which I heard. Even now knowing that it was a dream I still keep hoping that it was just that, a dream.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Welly well well
The new name for the poem will be untainted thanks much. Sorry I cant post now but i'll be back, maybe tomorrow, just maybe. N-e-wayz, gots to go. I still gotta work on that blessed sequel...me mind go blank... me get it eventually...C'ya
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hey people

Wassup, how ya'll doin' well it still aint the sequel, but it's something. This one aint at all demented, I think anyways.

No more generosity,
to the girls that I befriend.
They no longer will be nothing more,
Than just a simple friend,
I no longer will allow
a false love to begin to mend,
I dont expect your understanding,
cuzz my mind your not to apprehend,
I want that which is impossible,
the untainted of the soul and mind,
I want that which is ingenious,
The poeticly inclined,
I want that which is as strong as I,
So beautiflly refined,
I want that which is impossible,
A love I can not find.

helps me find a name for it. me go visit ya'lls site's now.
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Saturday, July 16, 2005

here's a poem for ya'll!!!

This one's a lil more detailed but leave your opinion and ounce more no BS. Yes I knw I have a twisted demented mind, but is it a good thing or a bad thing?O.o


“That’s who you are”

Hear out my deed,
It’ll fill you with envy,
Don’t worry ‘bout time,
Your young you go plenty,
I was driving my Echo,
With the gas tank half empty,
I met this cute guy,
He seemed oh so friendly,

Except for that scratch,
Regardless we went for the bar
YES!!! But of course,
I let him step in my car,
I turned off the radio,
Talking ‘bout some man and a scar,
Then I looked at his neck,
Gasping “So that’s who you are”…

I ran as fast as I could,
It was dramatically insane,
He came after me, but I guess…
There’s no one else to blame.
He came to pop my cherry,
‘Tis my fault for this pain,
My legs left wide open,
I no longer was sane…

“My oh my” I laughed as I said,
“Life sure is a bitch.”
How the tables have turned,
As he fell in a ditch…
I some how tied him up,
And said “it’s time for a switch,”
Out of my trunk I grabbed a metal bat,
And said “Your ass I’ll enrich”

I started pushing and shoving,
As his ass began to grow,
When all of a sudden,
These juices started to flow,
“Feels good doesn’t it,
This pain you now know”,
I laugh at you now,
At the shame you can’t let go.

“Yes that’s who you are…”

It’s too bad you lost your mind…

Your memory forever will now rewind…

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Friday, July 15, 2005

35 mins till midnight
yeah i's all most midnight here in this side of the world. I was talking to someone yesterday who was complaining that my poems were not happy, and always guys on top type a thing (she is a strong femenist, who believes women are the ultimate rulers...*cough**it clears it's throat*). I guess...in order to satisfy her demand of a happy and femenist poem, i'ma split it into two poems. One a love poem for a friend of mine who asked me for it. and another a poem about a women getting raped, and then turning the tables having her rape the guy. I have this weekend to come up with these poems. Oh yeah the reason i'm on this late is cuzz I made the lil one get off the computer so she can sleep, I dont think she's sleeping though. C'ya
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