Saturday, November 17, 2007

I dreamed about my dad last night. He was still alive. It wasnt a good dream though because he was drinking in the dream. I just woke up and now im terrified and my head is pounding like never before. I tried to hug my dad in my dream but he just turned away. He always did..

Its snowing. It's so awesome it's actually amounting to something on the ground. I think I'll take pictures of Cashton today and show it to you guys. all though i think the batteries on my camera are dying. T_T I have to find the battery charger.

I've got headaches and bad luck

Eh.. Gotta take the good with the bad right? It just seems somethings going to come crashing down pretty soon.
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Friday, November 16, 2007

Ugh..the damn dog keeps staring at me. Shes so damn cute its no fair >_< But I dont feel like playing. I feel sick.. Like my head is going to explode.

I went to the mall today. I was happy that the Lacrosse mall has a hot topic. I actually asked the lady if they had a cobra starship shirt, because megans been looking EVERYWHERE for it and they didnt have it -_- Oh well I tried for her. I had my Green Day Hoodie on and the chick there was like "we just got some brand new Green Day shirt's in" XD I didnt buy anything because my mom has spent a lot of money in the past week and she'd kill me if i begged for anything else... Im spoiled as it is..

You know...we have cable 100 some channels and I still watch the same things I watched when we only had 7 tv channels -_- I like the show made on mtv though. its the only thing i watch on mtv. Im not too into tv.

Haha on the way back from Lacrosse we where singing christmas songs in the car...lmfao. I recorded us all singing roudolph the red nose reindeer on my phone haha then we went into central the store my aunt works at and started singing it again XD

Bleh.. I wanna talk to donny. I talked to him and his girlfriend today. I wanna move to armania and live with them someday haha. Its really far away from here apparently.. dunno donny's one of those people that's always happy. He's great.. I know why my dad wanted him in my life now. It was meant to be this way.

Ah ill talk to you guys later

-jenny
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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Im so tired..
I feel so negative
i want to do nothing but sleep
i wanna hug stephy...
but i cant..
=[[[[[[
Megan dissapeared today
so did donny
i hope donnys girlfriend is okay
shes a missonary shes in armania [sp?] right now

we apparently will have a nice new big house by the middle of december.
christmas songs have been stuck in mu head all day..
maybe cuz it was snowing today.

IM SO DAMN TIRED...

ZzZzZzZ and its only 11:30 -_-

damn you jenny damn you.


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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

For running on 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours i think im doing pretty good. but neither of us will be up till 2AM tonight I practically fell asleep in my dinner o_O two things im going to miss about milwaukee. Nikky and Donny. I love cashton though.

we should be in the new house before christmas so thats good im thinking XD We got cable as well as internet yesterday and its kind of funny that i havent really watched it yet i guss im just really not all that into tv anymore. I do want to watch me some anime though x3

im zoning out and i really need to go to bed but i dont think my minds shutting down just yet.. ugh i really hate thinking it makes everything worse. i told donny practically EVERYTHING he knows more about me than anyone in this world does and that kind of scares me but i know and im trusting him to keep it a secret.

bed time now... i still have something to do though.

-jenny
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Heh im back. ^_^ I missed you guys! did you miss me? XD hehe.

Its 2 oclook in the morning and im pretty much...tiredd. its the latest ive stayed up in a while. I was talking to Donny I really honestly dont know what id do without him. hes the awesomest guy ever. Anyways its final we're moving up here for good, in fact my mom put an offer in for a house today. Its not the greatest house but we need a bigger house theres 6 of us living in a two bedroom trailer house... It kind of sucks.. but its great here. I love it. and i honestly think all of this has made me change so much i feel older but i suppose that's what would happen when you go threw something like this but im not going to dwell on it. Theres other things i need to be concerned about..

I really cant think right now and i want to go to bed im only posting to say im back not that its that important XD but yeah... have a great tuesday guys ^_^

-jenny
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Thursday, November 8, 2007

   Posting for Jenny cupcake muffin! x3


Hello! its Stephy again! =D okay so its been a few days since we last heard from jenny but no need to panic!

Buuuuut...what if she got lost? or is injured!? OR what if jenny is being eaten by a bear!? o_o or what if Jennys eating a bear!? And what if the Bear is Poisonous!?! 0_o

HOW WOULD JENNY KNOW THAT!?!?! ._.

okay okay maybe I shouldn't jump to outrageous conclusions...YET! =I

=3 alrighty then I'll leave you all alone before everyone forms an angry mob and stabs me to death with emo knives of death =P



«Step into my World«

NStephyN
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Saturday, November 3, 2007

teh jenny has returnedddd but not for as long as i wish..

Im off to the funeral home again and then to my grammas house and i get to see my cousin! hes a pastor and i've really got close to him this past week. if it werent for him and steph.. I dont know if id be here now.

i am moving up to cashton and we are going back up there sunday night.. bleh, im just.. not happy really. im getting my hair bleachedddddddd. no more gerard way look alike hair for me.

I really hate my self at the moment =D

but i gotta go now and i should be back on myo soon... yeah maybe.

-jenny
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Friday, November 2, 2007

Hello! Sorry to disappoint you all but I'm not Jenny! J I Am Stephy! (alphonse13) Updating for my luver Jenny by Her Request!! I come with News from jenny though! with any luck she should be back to otaku this Weekend! So Yaaay!J

cI Loves and Misses her sooooo Muuuch! T.T_

YAnyways! I do Have BIG news! Me an Jenny Muffin are a couple! yes we've been undercover for a week! xD lol I don't know why she wanted an idiotic random fool like me but I Loves her and I don't think my phone EVER leaves my hand anymore! but i loves her and always will! x3 okay well hopefully the next post here will be by jenny! *crosses fingers* =D well PM Me if your bored ppls cause I sure am without jenny around! T__T

okay bye bye me and jenny are gonna go play in the tub now


haha okay maybe not but Boy don't I wish! x3 mwahaha



«Step into my World«

NA13N

Y
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Monday, October 29, 2007

Im going to cashton for a week.

The funeral was yesterday and the burial is today and i dont feel like exsisting anymore..

but i have too.. because i promised a few people i would.

a bunch of my middle school teachers came to the funeral.. It made me feel better. i miss them. and now im going to be moving 3 hours away. Lovely.

eh, i gotta go now. I'll probably be around a little bit during the week because theres internet up at the store in cashton.

i cant help but be mad at my dad..and lauren. Its not the fact that she broke up with me its the way she did it that makes me so.. pissed off. not even at her totally but at my self, because i knew it was coming i knew we where over a long time ago. what i really feel bad about is what i put steph threw. i cant believe she doesnt hate me.. i guess im just really in a pissed off mood today. whatever..

I hope shes happy now.

cuz i sure as hell arent anywhere near happy.

i gotta go kill another part of my self now.
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Thursday, October 25, 2007

post
ugh i cant even type without my sister looking over my shoulder..

yesterday my dad died.. He didnt really die it was more like he killed him self..yeah lets go with that. My mom found him hanging in the garage when she was going to take my sister to school. I'll save you the gory details..but hes dead and theres nothing i or anyone can do about it...no, my dad didnt killed him self depression killed him. and i'll be lucky if it doesnt take me as well. Another funeral, except this one hits a little to close to home and i really hate it i want to go to sleep and wake up and this will have never happanedf. god theres so much i want to get out right now but i have to go to a funeral home in 10 minutes so im not even going to begin to try im sure i'll type out something on my livejournal or blogspot.. I dont know i just cant take being in my own head right now..

Lauren broke up with me last night, she said she wants to be alone. I lost two people in one day. i dont think i even realize that i lost lauren but then of course i think i lost her a long time ago. just like my dad lost him self and just like im losing my self. death is hard enough but when someone kills them self on purpose not caring what hell they're putting their family threw its just cruel. To be honest im mad at my dad, i knew something was wrong though he had called me the night before and asked me to come home from a friends house and i was nothing but rude to him. what kills me inside the most is that i didnt even get to say goodbye. thats what kills me the most at least if i would have got to tell him i love him one more time i wouldnt be taking this so hard. i loved him. I loved him so much and now hes gone and just like my story says..."daddy died today and a little piece of me went with him"

My laptop also crapped out on me and wont work anymore so my mom had to go out and buy me a new computer we got one for 500 dollars. Its really nice as far as i know and it didnt take me long to hook it up at all. I went to my uncles house last night because no one wanted to sleep at home and i will never ever go back to his house its crawling with bugs and if you know me you know i hate bugs. I despise them.

one person has been sticking by me threw all this..Stephy. ^_^ I love her a lot and it means so much to me that shes willing to...take care of me when i need someone.. I put her threw so much though and i really feel bad. haha she was right though, about everything. shes always right..shes amazing. and i hope you know that steph.

*sigh* I have to go now.. Its so hard to even exsist anymore, but i am.. for my mom and for..well someone ^_^

I...think it'll be okay. If i learned one thing from this it was to never ever ever ever take life for granted and hold on to the people you have because before you know it they all could be gone.

¢¾jenny
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