Wednesday, August 29, 2007

~Wednesday August, 29th 12:30AM~

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


hahahahahahahahahahaha.

there's bite marks on my hand and fingers. It's funny how pain can feel so good, sometimes.

I feel giddy-ish. like...run up and down the hallway giddy-ish. like.....run to new jersey giddy-ish. like I can't stop giggling giddy-ish ah god I feel like a girl..

Anyways, besides my unusual mood swings should I tell you what happaned today? Okay! I went to my old school with my sister and seen a bunch of my old teacher's and almost started crying at the memories that place held. GOD I miss it so fricken much. Oh well.

Went to see my grandma....talked to lauren threw texts the entire time I was there.... =3 huzzah. God...I never thought I could feel this way about another human being. but i do, and if any of you see a missing person alert on the tv DONT TELL THEM WHERE I AM =P

hah i just noticed i send text messages in the length of a short email.....haha poor lauren. I'm so horrible.

okay, im goin to bed now. Mm...see ya,

Mucho love,

-trick


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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

~August 28th 4:14AM~

My birthday went okay. I didn't really do much when I got up I watched the dvd nikky got me.."Speak" it's a really good movie so i suggest you read the book or watch the movie..It made me feel weird afterwards though...sad sort of. I was trying not to be sad since it was uh, my birthday in all so I just layed in bed for a while covered in blankets and though about...how much I hate being so far away. I got sick of crying so I got up and ventured on to myspace. Bleh. Eventually megan ended up getting me on AIM and I talked to her and lauren for a little while....then around 6:30PM we went to the hospital. I seen my grandma for the first time since she went there...When we walked in she was sleeping and I sort of thought she was dead because when my mom tried to wake her up she didn't say anything...but she wasn't... She doesn't look good, or sound good. She thinks she might be coming home today but I doubt it. My sister has like, an orientation for school today. I really wanna go with her just to see my old school again, I miss it... When we got back from the hospital My mom had got me a cake from the store and I blew out my candles.....made a wish...I wonder if it'll come true?

I dont feel older....I feel like it's just another day. Summer's ending...and im kind of sad. Winter's coming though which makes me sort of happy....a numb sort of happy. I toke my brithday and sunday off from school but now i have to get back too it, and it's five in the morning and i have to get up in five hours, ugh. Imma mess.

Anyways, good morning, good afternoon, or good night, which ever. See ya,

-jenny aka trick.
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Monday, August 27, 2007

DOOO YOOOUU
Todaaaaaaaaaay Is my birfday.....

nikkeh came over today...........we laugh...a lot. I ended up saying "I FEEL FAT AND SASSY" 135901305 times today.....you'll only find the true humor in that if you've seen the animation. I dont wear my seat belt in the car. I sit on the edge of the car door and hang my self out the window. Yeah I did that today =]

got pizza....watched 10 things I hate about yew. New fav. movie. She got me the movie Speak and a cd and a poster of pete XD nikkeh is awesome <3

Oh! and steph did a whole theme for me today. thank you stephy <3

Lauren was the first one to wish me happy birthday today.....hehehe.

Uhmmm...I got tagged by lauren! haha so that mean's I have to name 8 facts; eh here's the rules.

The rules are:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts.
4. At the end of the post 8 more people are tagged and named.
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged.

My random facts
1) I cross dress when no ones watching[wellsomeonesalwayswatching].....seriously i wanna be a dude. =/ you will never catch me wearing a dress. NEVER. believe me...i wore a suit to graduation. lmfao that tape is burned.
2) I gave up guitar because of what happaned to my dad.
3) I use chapstick WAAY to much.
4) Count on me to blast Christmas Music In june, july and august.
5) when I was 12 the doctor's screwed up my medicine....and I almost died from the reaction to it.....I haven't been to the doctor's since. [that i remember]
6) I get distracted to easily and can not multi task if my life depended on it.
7) imma romantic sappy corny cheesy person.
8) i happen to make EVERYTHING perverted. -friends flashback-

And...I will tag
1) Steph
2) Cassie
3) Krissy
4) KyoFanatic13
5)Toh-Toh haha.
6) MEGAN
7) Bunny?
8) Slooowwwwneeeeeessssssss [haha i know you'll get fat and sassy XD]
sorry I know i've tagged some of you before you dont have to do it if you dont want too.
and yeah...I dont follow rules so if you read this then you do and if you dont then you dont.
yeahhhhhhhhhhh imma go now.
-jennyy

PS-....I really dont feel good so i might just end up going to sleep. *sigh* I always get sick on my birfday.
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Sunday, August 26, 2007

I have nothing to post about soooooo...do the survey plzz ^_^

What would you think if:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.I committed suicide:

2.I said I like you:

3.I kissed you:

4.I liked someone you didn¡¯t:

5.I was hospitalized:

6.I ran away from home:


What you think of my:

7.Personality:

8.Who are you?

9.Are we friends?

10.When and how did we meet?

11.What do you think of me?

12.How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?

13.Do you love me?

14.Have I ever hurt you?

15.Would you hug me?

16.Would you kiss me?

17.Are we close?

18.Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

19.How long have you known me?

20.Describe me in one word.

21.What was your first impression?

22.Do you still think that way about me now?

23.What do you think my weakness is?

24.Do you think I'll get married (if yes to who)?

25.What reminds you of me?

26.What's something you would change about me?

27.How well do you know me?

28.Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

29.If so tell me now? (or PM me)

30.Do you think I would kill someone?

31.Are you going to put this on your otaku site and see what I say about you?

---------------------------------

Besides having nothing to post about i got a new cell phone today. and who blessed my phone with it's first ever text message?

Lauren.

It made my heart hurt, in that good kind of way.

and now me and casseh[my pete] are having text conversations and PMing lmfao we iz nerds.

I NEED MORE MINUTES ALREADY. DX

haha im gonna end up blowing all my birthday money on phone cards...

which reminds me....my birthday's TOMMOROW.

nikkeh's comin over at 3 tommorow. I GOTSA CLEAN THE HOUSE BEFORE SHE COMES OVER AHHHHHH.

kk byez

-jenniez

PS-I burned my finger on the stove today i stuck it in the fucking FLAME dont ask. I have no common sense what-so-ever. haha It hurts like a bitch. k had to share that

BAI
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Saturday, August 25, 2007

to tired to make this an actual worth while post
tired today.
went to bed at 6am got up at 10am
did lots of school stuff today.
went to the mall and didn't buy a thing.
haven't talked to lauren all day. which is okay because I know she busy a lot and she gives up a lot of her time just to sit here with me. I love her though. ¢¾
Nikky [rabidminpin] is coming over sunday for my birthday
which isn't sunday [monday] but she has skool on monday =(
Grandma's still in the hospital. She was doing a little better last night they highed her RA medicine and her anti depression/anxiety pills and she's now on heart medicine.
I doubt she'll live very much longer though...
I just have this feeling.
Listened to the song "cancer" by mcr with my mom today...
cried...to my self.
imma miss her.
I remember the last real conversation we had was about lauren. She told me to meet her. and I plan too.
Fractions are killing me in math. I really, really hate them.
Might go shopping today for my birthday.
maybe.
We'll see
Changing theme again soon
dont know what too.

dont feel good. tired. sleep now.

happy saturday.

-jenny
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Friday, August 24, 2007

Well......you know how I said my grandma was doing okay? but she had an irregular heart beat? Well...My grandma smokes a lot...she's been smoking since she's been 20....she's 75 now. From what I was told the smoking is ruining her lungs and....

her heart's failing..........

that hit me like a ton of bricks today...As much as she upsets me, and as much as I didn't like living with her..I don't really want her to die..and I guess im realizing how scary this must be for her...I haven't visited her since yesterday....even though my family's been there three times. I can't. I don't want to see her. not like this. not....I HATE death...I hate it so much.

That's it. It's all I can take. If I lose lauren...I'm done. I'm finished. with everything. I have a father that didn't want me. A mother who's ashamed of me because I LOVE someone with all my heart but because she's a SHE it's obviously not right because god know's LOVING someone is a sin. Who are they to judge? Who is my mother to tell me that I'm "confused" When she doesn't know the pain I feel at night, she doesn't know how hard I cry being away from the one person in the world that get's me completley..the one person I love more then anything...the one person that deserves so much greatness in her life and yet get's so little. if I lose that...if I lose her......I can't take it anymore.

*sigh* she......she knew?

Anyways......I got some school work done today ^_^ -_- History is a pain in the ass so i googled half the answers again....Im NOT reading 100+ pages about some shit I don't really care about. BURN HISTORY.

Imma goo....Im getting math help...so see ya,

¢¾jenny


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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
My grandma went to the hospital yesterday.
Idk why, really, honestly. they didn't tell me.
She had a irregular heartbeat though. it was like jumping from 150's to 110's if I was reading it right. I dont know I felt weird in the hospital because I was wearing three of my rainbow colored braclets......and since it's a catholic based hospital I don't think they'd be all happy happy joy joy about the fact that Im bi. (yeah....I guess it would be a good time to tell you all now that didn't know. Im bi and have a girlfriend...>.>) Idk...I felt like the people where staring at meeee. bleh. Oh well they can shove it.

I called cassie {redmoonchick} from the waiting rewm cuz' I didn't have anything else to do and I wanted too. It was cool...I thought it'd be weird but I feel like i've known her my whole life. she's amaazing. ^_^ but..yeah I was at the hospital from 12-5 and I hadn't eaten since lunch tuesday....
so I was hungry but when I got home I felt sick so didn't eat anything.
*sigh* where's that pizza she promised me? lol.

Im tired....I've been awak for too long. I'm probably acting bitchy to everyone again....-curses at my self-

I gotta sleep cuz' I got a lot of school work to do tommorow....I wanna....do something. for her, anyways.

^_^ See ya.

-jenny

PS- ITS FUCKING THURSDAY. >ergoijwergioerjg.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

eeee
It's 1:50
I have to go to bedddd
I was demanded too, [again]
and I have a head ache anyways so I'll probably do it..
uhm yeah..
I probably wont leave I may just be around less
[[which I doubt]]
but..yeah sorry for worrying any of you I guess I was just in a mixed up mood.

today was better though....a lot better.
quite a weird day too O_o
haha. ^_^

It's thundering....
Im kinda scared.
haha.
Imma go to bed now though..
-_- after I clear of my bed.
*sigh* night guys.

-jenniez
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

It's official.
Im the biggest screw up you'll ever meet.
I dont know.
there's so much drama being on here...
which, I mean of course the whole brittany thing is my fault.
yeah. I know.
I wish I could just wake up one day and that
whole chapter of my life would have never happaned.

Im hurting one of my bestfriends..
I don't want too..
but I don't know what to do..
I screw everything up.
I dont deserve a best friend like her..

I might just have to leave otaku.
So I wont be here anymore to screw things up for brittany.
I honestly dont want to leave
this place is my home.
but if it did come to that I'd still have a way of talking to Cassie, and the rest of you guys, that I dont talk to on AIM...
I just....I don't know anymore.

I need to get my mind off of everything, if that's even possible..so...I dont know maybe I'll do a bunch of school work today. probably not..
Oh well. I'll try my best to be happy.
I wish It wouldn't stop raining..

-jenny


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Monday, August 20, 2007

It's raining.
It's been raining.
I like it.
I haven't been out in it though, no.
the rain always reminds me of last year, and makes me sad..
but...I was happy tonight.
even though I dont feel good..
I have a headache because I really didn't eat anything today.
I felt odd when I woke up. It was raining still.
but...for once...I felt.......happy.
haha, I sound like a crazy person.
but if she's reading this I hope she knows how happy she made me.....^_^

I wanna post picturessss of meeeee.
but photobucket is being a dick.
haha >.>
im tired anyways...it's 5AM
Imma read a book before I sleep.
Im so behind in school.
but I dont feel like doing school workkkk
*stubborn*
It's not funnnn.

uhhhh sleep noww.

WISCONSIN IS FLOODINGGGG.

imma float away.

--jennnehh

[[PS-I feel rather gaytriotic (gay patriotic XD) *starts a youtube show*]]

OH! PSS-Krissy, I want that panic boy's picture for my birfday XD :3 all though it is adorable so I dont know if you'll be able to part with it xD
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