Monday, October 1, 2007

Post
October 1st

Wow, I'm glad September is over. September was officially one of the worst months of my life. but, I'm not dwelling on the past and I'm moving forward and hoping everything is going to get better, but before i do that at the end of my post I'm going to post two poems i wrote a while ago that i digged out of my word pad. I have an account on allpoetry.com and i had got some pretty great comments on them on there so i wanted to see what you guys think. Maybe...I'll start posting my poetry more often...

uhh...lets see. today I'm going to the mall =D not to buy anything though since I'm broke....just to walk around which is what i usually do at the mall....and stalk josh [the guy that works at hot topic] i don't know if he has the day shift though....dammmmn. I'm such a stalker. i almost got expelled for my stalker habits. haha. ah i miss those days. Hmmm. I have a bump on my head that's been there my whole life and i really have no clue Why its there and its never hurt before but as of yesterday its been bothering the heck out of me, i cant even touch it, it hurts like hell, and since i have a habit of fucking with my hair i always hit it. -_- I'm hopeless.

Oh yeah, my moms not pregnant, and i wont get into details of HOW i know that... I'm sure you get it >_>

Anyways here's the poems i promised, I hope you guys like them...

Ignorant
I ignored the signs
Ignored the warnings
Ignored the pleas,
the reaching out
the days left me unattached
of what it was we're meant to be.
I don't think you understood me when i said
'without this I would die'
then all the lies rounded us off
put us back to where we started
not knowing one another.
but I cant say no to you.
you should know that by now.
i cant ignore the way I feel.
and you cant help but feel sorry for me

And the second one is from like...2 years ago so that explains how crappy it is. It's pretty self explanatory as well.

Meant to Be
Screaming, anger.
Crashing Sounds. Fade inside my dreams.
Daddy, I know you didn¡¯t want me,
but please make mommy stay
It¡¯s not her fault we act like this
I promise I¡¯ll try to change.
Mommy make daddy stop yelling
tell him you love him and make everything okay.
This isn¡¯t how family¡¯s are supposed to be
why can¡¯t you see?
We¡¯re hurting and we¡¯re broken.
Never going to be whole.

The pictures from before me,
you all look so happy
was it really me that made such a mess of all these things?
I didn¡¯t mean to cause pain, or despair..
I didn¡¯t ask to come to be..
Mommy, I¡¯m part of you.
Do you really hate me so?
I¡¯ll try harder to be better
and make you feel proud
of the daughter that stands before you.
With a heart full of ache.
I¡¯ll hide it all to see your smile and fix this broken home.
Daddy, please don¡¯t hate me for loving you.
I know I'm not the boy you wish that I would be.
But maybe deep inside of me..
There¡¯s more then you can see.
Just hold me tight in your arms.
So I don¡¯t fade into this broken home.
--
So, like i said they're nothing important but i felt like posting them....i hope they're not to horrible.

Mm have a great day guys ^_^

¢¾jenny
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