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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1992-08-27
Gender
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Female
Location
• Cashton Wisconsin, It's by lacrosse..
Member Since
• 2007-05-26
Occupation
• I am a hostage to my own humanity
Real Name
• jenny
Personal
Achievements
• I wake up everyday, that's an achievement all in it's self.
Anime Fan Since
• 6th grade. [10th grade now]
Favorite Anime
• Loveless, Bleach, Case Closed, Death Note, Naruto, one piece, strawberry panic,
Goals
• Survive each and everyday.
Hobbies
• I like to write and read. you usually wont find me without my ipod glued to my ear either.
Talents
• Sometime's time reveals thing's we dont know.
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myOtaku.com: Shallow Heart
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Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Post
October 2nd
I've been thinking a lot lately...about, well just about everything. I've changed so much in the past year. Everyone i know has changed in the past year, and that puts me to this...wondering about why we have to change. Theres a conversation somewhere that i had, with her... We've changed. We both have. theres no denying that. I love her. I love her more then words can explain. I miss the old us too though. Even when we weren't 'together' she was everything to me and I'd like to say i was everything to her, and god...i hope its true. I feel so horrible sometimes....for every little thing I've put her threw. we've been to hell and back and a majority of that...well all of it is pretty much my fault. Hah....i don't even care if this isn't real, I don't care if this is a figment of my imagination because for once in my life there's someone in my life, i want to live for. but i want more, i want the things we dream about. And yet...why do i do these things that screw up everything we could have? Deep down inside I'm scared to death of rejection. My words...they've always been my strength but I'm weak, in every other way, and even my words...they're starting to not be enough. Why is life so different in my eyes? why is education so important when love is something that can last a lifetime?
Poem time.
[a/n: i wrote this yesterday, as you can see my poetry has gotten suckier.]
Falling
Dont sing this for me,
I promise you I'm not worth it.
All this built up tension?
Oh honey it's all for you.
because every
'i love you'
ends with me biting my tongue
because the blood-
it feels more real then our words.
I thrive for your attention
oh of course I do
who wouldn't?
I wish it wasn't impossible to touch you
Impossible;
to show you how much this really means to me.
Because.. after all...
the harder i fall
the deeper I'm in.
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I punched the wall today....[long story as to why] but my hand hurts...it's not broken because obviously i wouldn't be able to type but...it hurts. -_- I'm always hurting something aren't I? I should rephrase that. I'm always hurting someone/something arent I?
-jenny
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