Monday, November 7, 2005

Today, I come to you not as "Triple J", but rather, as Joshua Jeremy Jacob.

Yesterday, fate dealt me yet another cruel hand: Kathy and I, were forced to part.....

If you're expecting me to cry.....then I'm sorry to disappoint you. If there is one thing in life that I have learned, it's one thing: how to deal with pain. Thanks to all the tragedy in my life, I can safely say, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to run away, I'm not going to cut myself, I'm not going to kill myself. I've lived thru way too much shit to cave in.

You wanna know some of the pain I've gone thru? Fine, I'll break it up for you:

Family: I've had pretty much no family nearly half my life. All 4 of my grandparents are long dead. My father died what I was 11. My father's side of the family is nothing but drunks and drug-adddicts, so we have no contact. We've got no contact with anyone on my mom's side either, due to some mindless bullshit.

Friends: I have had 2 people in my life that I've called my "best friend". First, there was Thor Rozell. I considered him a brother.....but things fell to shit between us over a girl. He put his unhealthy love before our friendship, and turned his back on me. My other best friend? Tuesday Smith, better known to the MyO community as ClosetPervert. What happened? She allowed herself to be swayed by the words of a third party, and stabbed me in the back. I've still got the knife would to prove it.

So here I am. And even after last night, I'm still standing. Fate likes to think its got the one up on me, throwing curve ball after curve ball at me. But l have news for "Mr. Fate". This is my life, and I'm in control, I'm strong. I'm not going to let this get me down.

And if any of you are wondering, Kathy and I ARE still friends. Don't get the wrong impression, there is NO ill will between us. We have our reasons for what happened.

I apologize to all of you for this post, but I had to let you all know what I'm going thru right now. Expect to see the old Triple J back tomorrow. I thank you all for hearing me out, for being here for me. It brings me so much joy to know that in this cold, fucked-up world of ours, I do have some friends. I love you all. - Josh
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