Wednesday, July 13, 2005

   YES!!!!!!
OMG I FINALLY GOT HIM!!!! I DID!!!! I GOT THAT BASTARD SPIDER SAKI!!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!! YES!!!!! *sighs with relief*
THIS IS JUST AN UPDATE, SO READ THE PERVIOUS POST!!!


Spider man! Spider man! Does everything a spider can! *passes out from lack of sleep*
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   LOOKIT!




What Military Character Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.


That's so like me. I love Roy! I think I'm catching his personality from writing so many fanfics...just ask Lyss, she knows. The comments I make sometimes...you'd swear that was Roy talking. XD

Aside from that loveliness, I promised Lindsey that I'd post a normal pick of me, glasses(that I don't usually wear) and all, SO YOU BETTER NOT BACK OUT AND POST YOUR PIC TOO!!!!! *sigh* I really don't care for this pic. Don't ask why I was looking down, I don't know. But you get a better look at me than the rest of them.

You can't see it, but my hair is down to my ass. Seriously. Almost like Duo!

Anyways...a convo with a few friends tonight reminded me so much of the good old days...those days are dead, I know. Long gone...but I can't help but remember. One was of Strawberry soda...all of a sudden I have such a crave for it. My grandma used to give it to me when I was younger...she died in 1998 from cancer. And then how my dad used to always wake us up on Sundays by blasting his music...and he made every kind of panckae you can think of...he'd do the dishes, then laze and watch the football game, even though he never really cared for it. I'd always watch it with him. But even if I get him back soon I know it will never be the same. *sigh* Neways. That also brings back the poem I wrote, which i'll retype just for the hell of it. I'm not sure how much i like it or not, and it feels like it rhymes, though it really doesn't.

"Should Have"

I know I should have looked at you
I should have said goodbye
Now you're far away from here
It's almost like you've died.

I should have known we wouldn't meet again
I should have raised my head
And even speaking through the tears
Tell you what I meant.

I know I should have written you
I should have drawn you things
I began at least 1000 times
Only to end up with nothing.

I know I should have said I love you
I should have choked out the words
Because even if I whisper now...
I know I won't be heard.

Neways, off to dreamland or some such i go...or maybe to finish the chappy of the FF8 fic, but I'm talking to four people at once! I'n lucky to finish this!

This is something I drew, partly based off of me. The only thing I don't like is I didn't line up the shine. Oh well. I was testing new pencils.

Roy is so hot. *sings in Japanese, copying Ryuichi* Pika pika pika pika Mustang, Mustang pika pika! BTW, pika pika is "shiny" in Japanese. ha ha
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

   Hmmm....
It's actually nice outside today. Very windy, but much cooler. It makes me think of September...I usually hate it-hate the feeling of going back to school. Hate finding all my new classes with more crappy teachers and even crappier kids. But for some reason...this time...even smelling it in the air-feeling it in the breeze, I don't mind. I'm at ease with it. Maybe, for once, for some reason unknown, I don't mind. My life's back on track this time-I'm happy. I won't fail half my classes this time. I won't go goth on chosen days and scare people. Instead, I'll go back to making them laugh, like I always have. I don't like people, I don't care to really make friends...but it's the one thing I could always do right with people. Even when I was depressed, Jen...you hated me for being that way, for all the fighting we did...but I could still make you laugh. I could still make you smile...and that's something I'll never forget. How come I still keep tabs on your LJ every now and then? If we were still friends I'd be at her house right now. She moved, so I would always sleep over during the summer. We'd plan a three day and it'd turn into a week or more. But even hate is better than feeling nothing for me at all, I suppose...though I'm sure by now it's turned into indifference. I guess I think about it more than I should. Maybe...when I got rid of my depression, I kicked away everything from then. I don't have the friends I had then...I don't have that boyfriend anymore. So this is...some kind of new me, eh? Not that I mind. I had more in mind to say, but I got distracted...so...I'll just leave ya with another reminicing thought before I take off.

Do NOT mess around with your friends(same or opposite sex) because it just fucks up friendships when the people get confused. I'm not going into detail, but trust me, I know. Geez, that makes me sound bad. Well, I am, but that's beside the point. BE CAREFUL! *tsk tsks at you all*
-----------------------------------
Here's the thing-we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah
Since U Been Gone...

Dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, Yeah
Since U Been Gone...

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say...

But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since U Been Gone...

How can I put it?
You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song...
Yeah, yeah
Since U Been Gone...

How come I'd never hear you say
"I just wanna be with you"?
I guess you never felt that way...

But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since U Been Gone...

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again...

Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get, I get...
You should know
That I get
I get what I want
Since U Been Gone...

Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
-----------------------------------

Only one pic today, but I love this one. XD

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Monday, July 11, 2005

   You notice...
You ever notice that when you're in a good mood someone always has to go and fuck it up? I'm about to rant, so if you want to skip that, go to the next paragraph that starts with BOLD, k? Okay, so not too long ago I got this review for my FMA story: Shinigami Akumu,

The following review has been submitted to: What's a Few Years?
Chapter: 13

From: Saya Aensland ( http://www.fanfiction.net/u/50482/ )

That glaring error you just threw against my face? Really hurt.

Alex Louis Armstrong = Strong Arm Alchemist. He's not pretty, so I
understand you don't pay attention to him, but as an FMA fan, you should at least know his title.

Okay, now this pisses me off for several reasons. First off, I did NOT throw it in your face. And the idea that an error can hurt you is just...ridiculous. Well, EXCUSE ME for making an error! What I hate about this isn't even that she pointed it out. I WANT you guys to point out when I make an error! But to do it so rudly and insult me so much...what the fuck did I do to you? "He's not pretty, so I
understand you don't pay attention to him" WHAT?! Okay, right now that's saying that I'm so shallow that I don't pay attention to characters unless they're pretty! and then "but as an FMA fan, you should at least know his title" Excuse me? What, so I'm not allowed to be an FMA fan unless I know everything there is to know? Look, I'm sorry they only mention his title like TWICE in the whole show and that I watch it in Japanese so it doesn't sink in as well, but that's no reason to get a stick up your ass about it! Not to mention ever since the episode where he's in the tunnel with Scar, I always think of him as that for some reason. So WHAT? Big deal! You don't have to be so god damn rude to me! She makes it like I did it on purpose just to insult her or something! What a bitch.

Okay I was gonna rant about my oldest brother and his lies and how terrible he is, but I don't feel like typing so much....so I guess that's it for now...dunno what else to say. If you haven't filled out the thing in my previous post, then go do that.
-----------------------------------
I really like this song just because of the words. It describes what i want perfectly...I want to break away. I want to make myself into someone I can be proud of, but even if I finally get there, i won't forget everyone I care about or my home.

It could have been a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window...
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray...
Trying not to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away...
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes
Till I touch the sky...
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love...
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but...
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway...

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye...
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from...
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...

NEWAYS! PIC TIME!!!
-----------------------------------

Poor dark...he has such a sad past...

He's pissed because he isn't having luck fishing.

Oops, Kyo. ou so smashed that table into Tohru's head and made her bleed...GO YOU!

This was done by someone on TheO, so good job to them! It's great! And sad...

This pic is so sad....=(



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Sunday, July 10, 2005

   Heehee....
I feel like causing trouble, I dunno why! So I'll cause trouble in my fics instead! =D ummmm....here, fill out this!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression [of me]?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
16. What song are you listening to right now?
17. Do you love me?

Now, Lyss took off question 17 when she posted it in hers. *tsk tsks* I was going to mark 4 and 5 as gender questions that girls don't have to answer, but it's hilarious to see people's reactions, so have at it! *dances around to Nittle Grasper - Sleepless Beauty*


He's damn scared of leaks...

Notice they have the same look on their face?

It's something Tohru imagined, but...ha ha, it's still nice to see!

kiss...kiss....KISS DAMMIT! Okay, I'll shut up and go now! Bye bye!

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Saturday, July 9, 2005

   DUN DUN DUN!
Ha ha...I have no idea. I'm SO tired lately, even when I sleep a lot. So...sorry, Lyss, you'll just have to ignore it if I whine about being tired. I'm gonna try to update all my fics again today...get back into happy pattern mode!!! Bleach 39 was SO sad...seriously. But I know it'll be fine! Because Ichigo is the main character and everyone will kill the makers if he died. lol Ummmm...YESH! *turns on music* I may seem hyper, but, trust me, I'm not. Scary, eh? *dances to music and types stories while trying to talk her way out of doing the dishes...*

This is WONDERFUL cosplay! Not very often do you see people who REALLY fit the character they're trying to be. This is Ichigo and his dad from Bleach. They always beat each other up. ^^

This is Toushiro Hitsugaya. Isn't he sexay?? *drools* my favorite Shinigami from Bleach(well, besides Ichigo.) In fact, here's Ichigo:

Ha ha...I love that shirt!
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Friday, July 8, 2005

   ^^
It's getting light out and I'm tired, so this won't be too long. x_x My arms are ready to fall off. Push ups will do that to you. But what doesn't break off body parts makes them stronger! Mwahahaha! As you can tell, I'm feeling WAY better. I realized I also wasn't listening to enough music. Happy music always helps. Always. Then all the arguing and shit is done so YAY! I was able to write my chapters to my stories and crud, too. My second oldest brother bought himself a leather trench coat today. He loves them. he always looks like something out of the Matrix, though. He's a little taller than me, but he's still short, for a guy. So I like to joke about him being short and he'll yell about it like ed does.(we both love FMA) He looks KINDA like Ed, I guess. He's short and blonde, but his hair isn't that long. He's super skinny(I mean it. 28 inch waist) and he's well built. You'd think maybe he'd have girls all on him then, but he's not very social, that's why. Neways, i'm babbling about stupid things that don't matter. I'll shut up now and go to bed.

Ha ha...stupid Winry...
-----------------------------------
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
Here's to show
For all the time I loved you so…
So...

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so-
When the truth came out...
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
Cause what you did was low...

Kelly Clarkson - Low
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Thursday, July 7, 2005

...
I can't really sleep, but I didn't want to bother anyone online....so I'm just putting this poem here, that I just wrote now(and cried as I did). It's about my dad... anyways, I guess I'll go back to bed and try to sleep again....

"Should Have"

I know I should have looked at you
I should have said goodbye
Now you're far away from here
It's almost like you've died.

I should have known we wouldn't meet again
I should have raised my head
And even speaking through the tears
Tell you what I meant.

I know I should have written you
I should have drawn you things
I began at least 1000 times
Only to end up with nothing.

I know I should have said I love you
I should have choked out the words
Because even if I whisper now...
I know I won't be heard.


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Wednesday, July 6, 2005

   So tired....
Being so angry wastes all your energy...I'm exhausted now...my brother is an asshole, and I made sure to tell him. *yawn* and my mom was yelling at him...I don't really know what to think anymore. I'm too tired to think about it much anyways. Life sure is a pain in the ass...what a waste of time. I might go to bed early tonight...I'm not sure. I haven't gotten much sleep lately with this nonsense so some extra might do me good. Yeah...I think so.

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...
1000 words couldn't bring you back
I know, because I tried...
Neither could 1000 tears
I know, because I cried...
You left behind a broken heart
And happy memories, too...
But I never wanted memories...

I only wanted you.


"Hisoka...?"


"Then you can exist just for me! I don't want to be alone anymore..."
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