Wednesday, June 22, 2005

   Eh..
Not much to say, not much to do...well, I gotta go do chores but oh well. I'm really tired, but that's okay...and yesterday I saw my first episodes of Witch Hunter Robin, Wolf's Rain, Gundam Seed, Full Metal Panic(which was a little perverted, but okay), Saiyuki Reload, and Samurai X(Ruroni Kenshin)! They were all great, so I'll be watching more of them today. They can download while i do chores. Well, I dunno what else to say, so....ja ne!

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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

   Mwahahaha...
Actually, that's not how I'm feeling at all. I'm so tired, i coul pass out. I frickin' stayed up till 6 AM last night JUST to update my stories because I love you guys and my oldest brother is an asswipe so he was online until 2 or whatever. Bastard.
I was in a really thoughtful mood last night, but too lazy to update from the really slow computer in my room. Sucks. Oh well...now I don't much know what to talk about.
I finished watching Fruits Basket. I'm too lazy and tired to tell you every anime i've seen, so just tell me all the ones you guys love best, k? I should probably so chores today...probably. But am I much too lazy when it's hot as hell? Yes indeed. Isn't it great? I am hungry though. I still need breakfast. I got up at 1 and that's still only seven hours...*cries and passes out*

ha ha ha i love this pic. and since it's hot as hell, I figured...ha ha
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Monday, June 20, 2005

Translation!
This is the translation to my other post:
Good evening! I'm American! I don't know Japanese...no! I do...um...excuse me! ^^;;; My name is Aku-chan! Pleased to meet you! Have you been here before? Do you understand? I'm an artist! It is very hot today! When do the cherry blossoms bloom?

Very random, I know. ^^;;; It's all thanks to watching anime in japanese and reading books! *huggles anime*

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Oi!
Kon ben wa! Watashi wa Amerikan desu! Watashi wa nihongo hanashimasen...iie! Watashi wa suru...eto...sumimasen! ^^;;; Namae wa Aku-chan desu! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu! Mae ni koko ni kita koto ga arimasu ka? Wakarimasu ka? Wtakushi wa geijutsuka desu! Totemo atsui desho! Sakura wa itsu sakimasu ka? If you can't understand a word I'm saying raise your hand? XD I don't know. It was just a spur of the moment thing! Ja ne! *does dishes and cries comically*

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   Thoughts.
This is a poem I found that I wrote a while ago in my honors english class. God, I hated that bitchy teacher. She hated me because I didn't agree with her psycho, sex obsessed ideas, so she always gave me E's. Once she even put "Good Job. I especially liked you entry on____. D-" I couldn't believe it. Bitch. Anyways.

There's a place I have been before
With the dull gray steel of my knife
It blinds you as it tilts and reflects the sun from an open window
Tears well up in your eyes,
But it's not time to cry yet.

I want to show you the place I've been to
Where crimson tears fall down down your body
Until it can be washed away like a sin
But what you will think of here is not good, I know...

Now you've brought me to a bright white room
You've wrapped me in a blanket of forgiveness
And everything is alright again
But I won't cry yet.

Take my hand now, I can show you the way
We'll go there together so you won't be afraid
I've dried your tears, but not my own
Don't come with me...
And I'll be alone.

I'm not really sure what to think of it...it's okay. not so great. Obviously, I wrote it about cutting-going to a place that can take all the pain away-which, in the end, only causes pain for another person. They don't like what they see and try to help you...but when it doesn't work, you're alone again.

"Suicide is not as much a longing to die, as it is a fear of living."


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Sunday, June 19, 2005

Ya know...
Every time I cry...I want to assure myself that it's okay to do. That it isn't a bad thing. But every time...I know that it only shows how weak I am. I didn't used to be this weak...even in 7th grade when that horrible thing happened to my family...I didn't cry in school. So...I'm strong...on the outside. I hate myself enough as it is for all the things I've done...so you can imagine how much is sucks just to find more horrible things about yourself. Some say...that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. But that's not true at all. Because...I know. I know that I love my family, even when I say I hate them...and that love all my friends as if they were my family. It's pretty sad...how I generally hate people so much...yet help them however I can. Someone falls, i ask if they're okay...even though I don't care-does that mean I care? How confusing. Oh well...sometimes it's better...not to know.

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geez...
I make like four posts a day! -_- oh well. Look, I got the same result as aodtr666:

Your Heart is Black


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sometimes I try to come out of it...others not. I usually just say screw it. Well, with people around here. Online...it's okay. but in real life...i stay away from people generally. I'm a little anti-social, too. oh well.
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Ice cream = comfort food.
I feel a little better now, but not enough. Funny thing is, tomorrow's a new day, so I'll wake up and be okay, I know. It's not so late yet...so I'm gonna write more to my FMA and GW stories now...and watch fruits basket and bleach. I love bleach. It's the one anime that I actually LIKE the boy/girl pairing. (well, they're not a couple yet, but you know it'll happen!) Rukia and Ichigo! Yay! <3 everything else needs to be yaoi. sorry. I mean, these things all have these REALLY annoying girls in it! They should all die! *ahem* Bye bye! I LOVE YOU ALL! <3

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   Phew.
Well, Lyss is okay(as you've all seen, I'm sure). So that's a relief. Other than that...I dunno. I've just felt shitty all day. ya know? oh well...*dances around randomly* *eats dinner*

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Saturday, June 18, 2005

I hate people who think they know you just by looking.

Sorry, I just had some strange need to say that. It's just something I've thought about that I hate very much. People think that if they just look at you or watch you that they know your life story. But truth is, behind everything someone says/does, there is a deeper reason. Just because someone seems carefree doesn't mean they haven't had a hell of a life. Or just because someone dresses goth doesn't mean they're sad. *shrug* nevermind...I'm doing the whole thinking too much thing lately.

For those of you that don't know Yami no Matsuei...right here, Tsuzuki turns around and thinks to himself "A kid?!"...but later he finds out Hisoka may LOOK like a kid...but he doesn't really act like it and he's haunted by a dark past. Then again, so is Tsuzuki....what a world we live in....
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