Saturday, June 18, 2005

   x_x
I just got done making dinner...I don't even know what the hell I made! It's asian, but that's about all I know. And it tastes pretty good. So yay. It's already 11 and i haven't heard from Lyss, and you guys know how I am, so I'm worrying myself insane. -_- And now I'm tired...*sigh* Oh wells.
Look, Ed's singing!
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Friday, June 17, 2005

   ...
God dammit! I just wrote a WHOLE fucking post and the browser decided to have an error and close! DAMN! IT! ALL! *sigh* So let me try to do this again.

So, I still need to eat dinner and I'm starving and it's 3 AM. But I don't care. And after that I'll read till 5 or 6 and then either try to sleep or play video games. I know, I'm psycho. But It's summer, so who cares? (and we'll ignore that I did it during school too) I guess I have a sleeping problem, but I wouldn't say I have insomnia or anything. Insomnia is where you can't fall asleep and when you do, you wake up all the time. Once I fall alseep I'm out(though still a light sleeper) but I just have a hard time falling asleep is all. (forgive how shitty my typing is, I just HATE typing this twice. But you guys are so nice to me...I LOVE YOU ALL!!! XD)

So um...life is really depressing. I should do something about it, but that isn't easy. On the one hand, I wanna go back to being the little ignorant kid who knows nothing but on the other hand, I'm glad to know what I know now because then I'm protected against it. I dunno. it just sucks.
I really love this pic.
-----------------------------------
Well, you were right, Lyss. This song is good:
Seems like just yesterday-
You were a part of me...
I used to stand so tall,
I used to be so strong.
Your arms around me tight,
Everything, it felt so right...
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong.
Now I can't breathe...
No, I can't sleep...
I'm bearly hangin' on.

I told you everything...
Opened up and let you in.
You made me feel alright...
For once in my life.
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be:
So together, but so broken up inside...
Cause I can't beathe...
No, I can't sleep...
I'm barely hangin' on.

Here I am, once again-
I'm torn into pieces...
Can't deny it, can't pretend-
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside...
But you won't get to see the tears I cry.
Behind these hazel eyes...

Swallow me then spit me out-
For hating you, I blame myself...
Seeing you it kills me now.
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...


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Thursday, June 16, 2005

   I'm confused...
Okay, mini rant, so if you don't wanna hear it, that's cool, just skip to the next paragraph. I'm a little pissed and a bit confused. My mom said she wouldn't be helping my 22 year old brother anymore because he's turned into such an asshole and he's dating a bitch who he's convinced he wants to spend the rest of his life with(just like every other girl he's even seen). But now he wrote some lame ass letter to her and let her read it so now she's stupidly trying to help the lost cause. And he's giving her a bunch of bullshit while she's trying to help him. He think he's so FUCKING HIGH AND MIGHTY I could puke! Asshole. It's like...she's trying to help him and he has the nerve to be so rude! She should leave him high and dry.

Anyways, so I did the first chapter to my new FMA story. I really like it so far, myself. I decided to call it What's a Few Years? It's about Russell Tringham and Roy both falling for Ed and what happens when they try to compete for his affections. It's kinda like one of those romantic comedies, so if you love FMA and humor and some sap, go read! http://www.fanfiction.net/~shinigamiakumu m'kay?

Other than that...I need to update So Much for a Boring Life which is what I plan to do right now. Though it's difficult to get in the mood listening to Erik bitch about everything. -__- oh well.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

   Ugh...
I don't know what's the matter, but i just can't seem to get in the mood to write anything...*sigh*
I don't know what to do about it....

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*yawn*
Well, going to the zoo wasn't so bad. I got to see all my favorite reptiles and stuff...it was kinda cold today, but that's better than it being hot. And we shopped a lot. My little brother a pain for a little bit because he wanted to waste our time and play on the playground when we have so much other stuff we could do and more playgrounds near our house. But he didn't get to so he was kinda mad. Jeremy was kinda a stick in the mud for a little, but then he was okay. I just got home not too long ago. Now we're going to make pizza for dinner. Hmm...I guess that's all. I have to start on my next FMA story and write the next chapter to my GW one as well as plan out where exactly I'm going with it. *sweatdrop* I also wanted to draw...dammit, there isn't enough time in a day! -_____-

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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Summer...
Ya know, now that it's summer, all i do is read...

Write...
(has nothing to do with writing, but it's cute!)
Draw...
(not mine but i love it)
watch anime...

And sleep.

(again, not mine, but super cute)

Not that there's much else to do. An' chores. *yawn* God, I'm sleepy.
-----------------------------------
Meet me after dark again
And I'll hold you...
I want nothing more
Than to see you there...
If only night can hold you
Where I can see you, my love...
Then let me never, ever wake again.
Somehow I know that
We can't wake again
From this dream...
It's not real
But it's ours...
Maybe tonight,
We'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn...
--dedicated to Kitamura, who's friend died. =(--
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Monday, June 13, 2005

   Huh.
Well, I'm feeling better, but now Lyss isn't happy! x_x At least those pics I have were good...*drools* hmm...well, I'm going to work on my FMA fic now...ta ta! LOVE AND COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! <3


I love Tsuzuki! ^^
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...
Thanks for the advice guys. I'm tryin'...I'm getting sick of livin' here, though...my mom's always yelling at me and say I don't do anything...well who's been making dinner and stuff, huh? Who covered for her when she worked nights for a few days? Me. I don't even want anything in return except for my family to leave me alone and I don't even get that...*sigh* I wrote my next chapter to So Much For a Boring Life, and I was about to continue on my FMA one, but then my brother was an ass so I'm unhappy all over again. great. *watches anime and stares at pics to feel better*

I love whoever drew this...from some site...Yami no Matsuei

My fav trigun episode...

yay more duo x heero!

Yay gravitation, though it kinda makes you want to cry...

Fushigi Yuugi...

Heehee...roy x ed

This is pretty good-s'Squall

Yay dark!

The cutest Shinigami in Bleach!

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*sweatdrop*
I'm sorry, Lindsey! I didn't mean to upset you or anything! ^^; I just get like that sometimes. But like you said, I'd like to see five years into the future to see if i'm(still >_>) a big loser or not. But I can't....so I gotta wait. Just take life as it comes at you, though it's hard. I guess I should stop dwelling on the past and look to the future, though it's hard when you miss so much. And when the future isn't clear. Oh well. I'll be okay.

Seto x Yami/Yugi...o_O;
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   Hmm...
Well, me an' Lyss just got done talking for hours. I'm not sure what to think of my life currently. I kind wish I knew the purpose of my existance, then maybe I wouldn't have to question it. Perhaps, it doesn't matter, as long as someone cares. I kinda feel like playing piano, but it's kinda 1:30 AM so...that'll have to wait for tomorrow. I think the reason I dwell on my past so much...is because it's so much better than the present. I can remember...going to stores with my mom and dad when I was really little...and they'd let me get a toy...we'd do it a lot...I miss it. Where my dad used to work, it'd give him this certain smell when he got home...I haven't smelled it for four years...but I smelled it today when my mom brought home his old stuff from when he was still there. It's fricking stupid that my life is this big, deep, dark secret. I hate it...but I don't want to be hated for it. So I guess in the end it doesn't matter whether I want it that way...cuz it has to be that way.
-----------------------------------
Every time we lie awake...
After every hit we take...
Every feeling that I get-
But I haven't missed you yet.
Every room mate kept awake...
By every silent scream we make...
All the feelings that I get-
But I still don't miss you yet.
Only when I start to think about it
I hate everything about you...
Why do I love you?

Duo x Heero
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