Thursday, June 2, 2005

saw this on a friend's thing...

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Elena
Birthday:	11-07-1988
Birthplace:	...a hospital?
Current Location:	A speck of fly shit on the map called Stickney.
Eye Color:	Brown, sadly.
Hair Color:	Brown/red...depends if I'm in the sun.
Height:	5'6.5"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	czech, german, english, Irish(ignoring the small stuff)
The Shoes You Wore Today:	I wore flip flops. (OMFG I AM SUCH A GURL LOLZ)
Your Weakness:	...myself.
Your Fears:	Caring too much.
Your Perfect Pizza:	cheese and sausage
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	develop my talents more I guess
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	"..." XD
Thoughts First Waking Up:	*rolls over* "Just five more minutes..."
Your Best Physical Feature:	My face
Your Bedtime:	...do I look two years old to you?
Your Most Missed Memory:	Going to Indiana Beach...
Pepsi or Coke:	Mountain Dew Livewire
MacDonalds or Burger King:	China Buffet
Single or Group Dates:	I don't care.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	either
Chocolate or Vanilla:	both
Cappuccino or Coffee:	cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	occassionally...>_>
Do you Sing:	yeah, it's my life...
Do you Shower Daily:	uh huh
Have you Been in Love:	...if you can call it love. I THOUGHT it was love. We'll leave it at that.
Do you want to go to College:	yeah
Do you want to get Married:	Maybe
Do you belive in yourself:	No.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	No, but I tend to get dizzy easily if I spin around too much.
Do you think you are Attractive:	No.
Are you a Health Freak:	I should be.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sometimes.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yup...
Do you play an Instrument:	Piano.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no. between a taste of beer and sake, I never wanted alcohol again. XD
In the past month have you Smoked:	no.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yeah, but we broke up a week ago, so I don't think it counts.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	no.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	maybe ONE oreo...not a BOX, are you insane?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no...I dislike raw fish.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	mmhmm...
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No, I dumped him. MWAHAHAHA...*cough* sorry.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no.
Ever been Drunk:	on grape juice maybe that one thanksgiving...
Ever been called a Tease:	once upon a time...I used to be very seductive with words...but I'm a good girl now, I swear!
Ever been Beaten up:	No, I tend to do the beating.
Ever Shoplifted:	no.
How do you want to Die:	I don't much care. The better question is when.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	A singer or biologist...maybe both.
What country would you most like to Visit:	japan
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	blue/green/aqua
Favourite Hair Color:	all...but if you have red hair, you have to be damn good looking like Tasuki.
Short or Long Hair:	either, but not too long, and not too short.
Height:	taller than me, or the same height
Weight:	doesn't really matter.
Best Clothing Style:	i don't care about clothing. -_-
Number of Drugs I have taken:	eww....none.
Number of CDs I own:	see, starting here are bad examples of questions. Are you talking about me, or the guy? Since is still says "In a Boy/Girl"...I'd say own as many as you like.
Number of Piercings:	one in the left ear would be good on some guys. I have one in each ear.
Number of Tattoos:	one or two wouldn't be so bad, but a million is too much. I don't have any.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	that's up to your personality and your past. I'd prefer regretting things like "letting my friend down" to "i got wasted and now i gots two kids" or something. Me...I regret a lot of things.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

That's me in a nutshell. NOT. I didn't lie about anything, but there's so much more to a person than can be answered with one of these.
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Wednesday, June 1, 2005

   uh...
*yawn* well, I've been really lazy lately. Been lazy with my updates(not to mention fanfiction.net was having problems). A friend of mine hasn't been too happy lately...(DAMN YOU MEN FOR NOT NOTICING WHEN WE LIKE YOU!!!!) ha ha...and nothing friend that kinda...I dunno if I'd wanna call it stabbing me in the back, but well...so I'm kinda talking to her, but she says she has to "figure it out". I'd explain it but I'm too lazy. Do I just like...have bad luck lately? Three friends stab me in the back randomly, I break up with my boyfriend(even though it was for the best), and I don't even want to mention the rest. Maybe I've had bad luck for the past 4 years. Oh well....I'm really lazy right now so my typing is crap...I think I wanna go sleep....lol
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Monday, May 30, 2005

   ...
I really hate my brother sometimes...okay, if your friend, who is also the person you have a crush on, tells you "I don't want to be boyfriend girlfriend with you because I'm afraid you'd kill me if we ever broke up." what do you do? I mean, MY GOD! She told him she was scared he was going to kill her! That's psycho! He gave her no reason to think so, either. So what does he do? He stays friends with her and then goes out with her anyways. What a frickin' IDIOT. And then today he tells me he's going to his friend's house for a barbeque. I say "Oh, let me guess-Gina's coming with you." He told me no. Then, he came here just minutes ago because he forgot his wallet, and guess who was with him? Gina, that's who. Fucking liar. I'm gonna hit him later when I see him. He has such a way of pissing me off. And lately he's just been such an asshole that's it's incredible. I wish he'd move out.
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   Am I really 16?
well, one good thing for sure about friends online...at least they can't hurt you quite like real ones can. Man...I dunno about you, but I'm so sick of the friend abuse that always happens. It's annoying and hurtful and it makes you wish you were all alone because then at least no one could hurt you. I'm about sick of it. I'd say just stay away from them. The further away they are, the less they can hurt me. If they try to act nice just say "You know what, i'm done. I don't need this, and you don't need to waste your time." because all they will ever be now is a reminder. Like the scars on my wrists remind me. I don't need to be sad. Who the fuck are they to tell me my worth? I'm a fairly good person and i don't need to be treated that way. They think that's how friends should be treated, they can go treat someone else like that. Because if a person can call someone their best friend and then just treat them like shit they were never your best friend to start with. One thing I've learned....you can't really trust anyone.You can't even trust your own family sometimes because....well, people are people. Doomed to destroy the earth and kill each other.They helped me at my worst...but they have decided not to be my friends anymore. I can't control it. I need to accept that and also know that it wasn't my fault. they chose that path, not me. I didn't make them do it. You can't make someone do soemthing. they did it on their own.No one is perfect, and they know it. But for ANY person to point out someone else's mistakes when they've made plenty on their own is WRONG. When something bad happens to you at a young age, you're forced to grow up. I'm sorry they all had a sugar-coated childhood that's still currently going and the only thing they have to worry about are boyfriends and shit...but I'm different than that. And it sounds shallow, but I'm a better person because of it. Some people need something bad to happen to them before they get it, before the grow up, before they see the real world. i got it early and so i'm mature. But it's not my fault.Up until 8th grade, all I had were "circles" of friends. Where their friends were your friends. But people in those...they get pissed over the smallest shit. Amanda Talesky I remember...she got mad at me because I told her that her crush had a square shaped face. But then I met a girl named Jen and she was my first friend that didn't have a circle. I wasn't friends with her friends. And she became my best friend. of course, she's one of the ones who stabbed me in the back...but I can look back at it and say "at least you showed me what friendhsip really is." and that's how I can be content with her being gone now. I don't like it, but it wasn't my choice. It was hers. If you have bad parents, it's hard to turn out a good person. So maybe that's their problem. One thing I learned about depression...in order to be happy, you have to do it. No one else can. You could tell someone jokes all day long, but that's not gonna get rid of their depression. You have to make the decision to be yourself, and that's a good step in the right direction. If you want to turn your emotions around, you have to turn your life around. Maybe jen stabbed me in the back and it made me sad, but after she was gone, I realized I had no one to cling to. So I was forced to change my outlook on life and make new friends. And let me tell ya, it helped more than it hurt. I know...i mean, life-it feels like you're not in control. How can i change what I can't control?! But really...all you gotta do is change how you look at it.
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Saturday, May 28, 2005

   Brothers...
Ah, yes, brothers...the pinnacle of evil. My oldest brother is 22 and acts like he owns the place. My second oldest brother is 18 and thinks he always knows more than me. I'm 16 and just myself(I'm sure they'd have plenty to say about me). And my little brother is 10 and a monster. What a scary world I live in...ha ha
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   x_x
Well, I'm exhausted...I couldn't fall asleep last night. I dunno why. I played AVP2 on here until almost 2 and then my stupid brother got home from what he calls "clubbing"...and then I went to bed around 5 AM because I was coloring art in PSP8 and I lost track of time. And as tired as I was, I couldn't sleep. So I gave up on sleep at 6 and sat around playing MGS for no real reason until 8:30. Then my mom got up so I made her and myself breakfast. Yippy. And now here I am, bored as can be. She went to work with my other brother(I have three, cry for me...ew that rhymes...)so now I'm just here with my little brother. he's watchin' cartoons.

Monday starts the crap that i said I'd do around the house. I told my mom I'd put in the new linolium(how the heck is that spelled?) in the kitchen. I know, I know..."You have two older brothers! You're a girl! What the heck?!" ha ha, well, I'm no weakling. I guess I'm kinda...tomboyish? I beat guys at arm wrestling at school all the time. It's scary. Of course, my brothers are kinda fitness freaks and they're stronger than me, but...they're not home. So I said I'd do it. Peel up the old stuff, sand it down and glue on the new stuff. Biiiiig project. But at least I won't be bored. And I'm typing waaay too much...*yawns and passes out*
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Friday, May 27, 2005

hmm...
well, I wrote two shorter chapters for full metal alchemist which I called part one and part two to give myself an excuse for making them shorter, which I feel bad about but I think I'm up to writing full chapters today. x_x Except my brother makes me mad because he's an ass, but I'll try to ignore that. *rolls her eyes*
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Thursday, May 26, 2005

   heehee...
Well, to sango18, I'm not really sure where I'm going to end my Gundam Wing fanfic. It's weird, because I know where my Full Metal Alchemist one is going and where it will end...but the gundam wing one just kind of...goes. So, if you like gundam wing, go ahead and go to my "website" and let me know if you have any ideas. If not, I did have a small idea floating around my head...>_> heehee...
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

   Okay!
Enough of this sadness crap, it's time to get my inspiration UP AND RUNNING baby! ha ha. In other words, I'm gonna try to write my chapters. Anime music, pics, junk food, and all you nice people, will help me out. ^_^'
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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

   well...
well, I just broke up with my boyfriend....and I'm not sure how to feel about it. But I do know that I'm low on inspiration now...
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