Monday, November 21, 2005

   Eh.
Yo. Not much goin' on here. Haven't really heard from Erik yet but oh well. I'm sure he's fine. Currently I am lacking creativity and inspiration, so my Naruto comic is paused while I draw Envy from FMA all punked out in gothish clothing and the FMA cast in pokemon attire. Don't ask, that idea did come out of no where. But let me tell you, Roy is sexay in a backwards hat. Roy makes Ash's clothes look good. But Al..well, let's just say he doesn't look anything like Misty. *laughs* Well, ehough about that.

Umm...so Kyle won't stop bugging me about finishing emptying Erik's room cause he wants his own room so bad. lol So I told him I'd make more room in the attic tomorrow and when he gets home we'll work on throwing away all the garbage.

I just had an interesting thought...when I was younger, I'd always cry when a pet died or someone I cared for and everything...but I don't cry as much as I used to. I didn't cry when my Uncle died(he was awesome...I used to love going to his summerhouse at the lake and fishing and stuff) and I haven't cried at the loss of pets...does that mean I'm getting older...or just more heartless?
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Of all th things
I've believed in
I just wanna get
It over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days
That pass me by

I've been searching
Deep down in my soul
Words that i'm hearing
Are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting
All over again
Last three years
Were just pretend

And I said
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried
To hold onto...
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This pic I'm posting again cause I noticed the person didn't put the symbol on Gaara's head. So i did. Isn't that better? And is he seriously in a pink sailor suit?



The next two someone did for DA when they got 100 and such people putting her on "watch" not actual stalkers. >_>





This one is just awesome. Like, my thoughts exactly.


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Friday, November 18, 2005

   ^^
Well, got an email from Erik today. He bought a ps2 over there which cost him, in american dollars, about $30 and the games were each about $2.50. He also got a TV. He told me he's learning the language really fast. I'll glad he's doing alright. I may be able to chat with him online tomorrow. So we'll see. Man, he makes us all worry. Aren't big brothers such a pain?

Neways, I don't have much else to say. I wasn't going to post, but then I ended up with a good quote from the RPing I do with Lyss. XD
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"It's...funny...I finally understand what love is...and yet...I find myself wishing I had never known...because love....is your greatest happiness...and your deepest sorrow..."
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Whoever did this one made them all look really sexy...*nod nods*
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Thursday, November 17, 2005

   Dun dun dun.
I may have been in a bad mood last night, but my threat about deleting those who don't comment was serious, so...well, gee, don't everybody jump at once. Kidding. XP

It was...SNOWING today! Heehee. Fun fun fun...exacpt that it's WAY cold. My feet and hands are freezing. I like snow, but...why can't it be warm? 21 degrees...*dies*

I originally joined MyO because unless you're a member, you can't download wallpapers. At least, i think that was it. So, that's why I joined. But I've met a lot of cool people on here, so it seems it wasn't such a bad thing! *hugs you all* Of course, for every good person you meet, you're bound to meet like...ten more bad people. How sad...but well, I won't dip further into that.

But I was thinking...how deep is a love if you don't care if people hate you for it? It doesn't even have to be just homosexual stuff. But like...how about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes(sp?)? They're like 17 years apart. Celine Dion was married to an old guy, too, I think. And homosexuals are constantly made fun of, put down, told their disgusting...and "wrong". How deep is a love that can survive that kind of ridicule? Society can make laws against things...but you can't stop people. Saw in the news some 37 year old teacher married a 15 year old boy. No one stopped that-though she was put in jail on charges of sexual assult and stuff. You can make laws against homosexuals getting married, but you can't stop them from loving each other. Who's to say who a person can and can't love? I was as straight as they come and still found myself thinking I might have been in love with a friend. I think I still am as straight as they come in some ways. I love guys to death. But I mean...as long as you love someone with all your heart...how in the world can that be wrong?

Well, enough about that. Not everybody likes yaoi, and that's fine with me, 100%! But don't insult people...cause respect is more often given to you when you freely and honestly give it to others. Same with kindness. That can be today's life lesson. I think I've already talked about how bullshit right and wrong is, since it's all opinion. I have too much time on my hands, eh? I think too much. It's not so bad, though...if it makes me a better person. oyasumi!
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"Ah, Ed'll still be there if it doesn't work out. You should look at ALL the fish before picking which one to take home."
Lyss is probably the only one who completely understand this qote, but I just throught it was kind of funny. ^^
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Just for kicks, YAOI WARNING PEOPLES!!!!!!






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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

   Eh...
Just out of curiosity, why do I have a bazillion people on my friends list when only about 8 people comment on my site most of the time? I mean, damn. I think I'll start deleting some. Why should I comment on someone's site everyday if they never comment on mine? Talk about a one-sided friendship. And there's those who only post like..once every couple months. *sigh* So, to those who never ever comment, consider this a warning that I'll delete you off my friends list.

Sorry, I'm not in the best mood. Kyle(my little brother) really pissed me off. I was ready to slap him. At least I have my strawberry soda.

It bothers me how some people only remember the bad things...because the bad things are what effected them most. But I try to forget the bad things, and let the good things live on...
"Good memories can save your life."
-Joan, The Punisher

I get tired of my mom or Jeremy(second oldest brother) complaining about a song i'll have on. I mean, geez. We all like different shit, so get over it! If my mom had it her way all I'd be listening to is classical music, Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, and the like. If Jeremy had it his way, it'd be all video game music, and the soundtracks from certain movies like the punisher and the matrix. I mean, I like all that, too, but give me a break. There's nothing wrong with my music. You don't hear me complaining about theirs. I never say "God, Jeremy, that song sucks, change it already!" I let them listen to whatever they want. But no, I don't get the same courtesy. Thanks. I feel so loved.

Or how about when I watch anime? I can't even watch what I like. Jeremy now knows what Gravitation is, and he makes fun of it every chance he gets and spilled to mom that i watch it. So, great. She doesn't know about yaoi, though. She just knows about "a show with two gay guys". So, at least she won't not let me continue buying the Gravi manga. There's a lot of cussing, but I really love it. And mom complains about all the shows being in Japanese and how she's tired of hearing it. Well, excuse me, do I ever tell you to turn off your musicals because I'm sick of hearing all this old stuff? No. Does NOTHING work two ways around here? Kyle's the only one who doesn't care what I listen to or watch. He'll listen and watch, too, if it catches his attention. But that's because he's 10.

Man...maybe you all wouldn't believe it, but i used to be one of those uptight people. I used to care about my religion and used to be against gay/lesbian stuff, against cussing, etc. I was soooo uptight. Someone closed minded with a closed heart. Now I'm as laidback as they come. I don't give a shit about religion, I love yaoi to death, and I cuss whenever the hell i please. I'm free spirited now...but I guess that has its price, too. I'M happier...and I end up liking things I never would have liked before...but then everyone else who is uptight doesn't understand it and therefore makes fun of it. It's sad, but the ignorant often make fun of what they don't understand. I like to think I'm a better person now...

Well, I'll shut up now and go to bed. I have to get up early cause reenie is making me come over and help her learn how to burn DVDs. *scratches the back of her head* Yeah. It's not like she can't do it without me...she just likes having me around. Maybe Mo will be there. (Mosiah. He's the cutest little 6 year old boy I've ever met. He calls me Auntie. *SQUEE!*)She home schools him along with her own son, this annoying 12 year old. God, i hate his guts, but I try to be nice. XD I think he has a crush on me...*dies* okay, yes. I was going to bed. Yes. that's right. Oyasumi.
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Seifer gave Rinoa a bored look. "You do know that the little guy between my legs is smarter than you, right?"
-Written by me. >_>
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Monday, November 14, 2005

   ...
Well, he's...gone. He came back for a couple minutes and talked about the car and whatever. Then he hugged us all(even Jeremy. Well, you know. One of those tough guy clasp hands half hug) and said goodbye. He told me to be good and stay out of trouble...and it made me cry. He's not gone forever, but fuck it feels like it. So yeah, I cried my eyes out. But enough about that.

I finally updated my FF8 fic. Seifer and Squall are currently in D District Prison. Do not fear, I shall get them out. Maybe I'll pull a Solid Snake(only those who have played MGS1 will know what I mean). We'll see. but it got my mind off shit, so that was nice.

So...yeah. Not much else to say. *shrugs* Nite nite!
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"Itai, no da!"

Cause I'm broken
When I'm open
And I don't feel like
I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away
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First sad stuff:



Now the happy:



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Sunday, November 13, 2005

   Eh...
Not sure how to feel tonight. Erik's pretty much leaving tomorrow, and let me tell you, he's been an ass up to the last second. But I'm not sure whether to be happy about it or depressed about it. After all's said and done, he's still my stupid brother. So...i don't know. If he was moving to an apartment an hour away, that'd be fine. But going to Thailand for who knows how long to be a slave to his bitchy girlfriend? How can he be so stupid as to give up his one-promising future for a stupid woman? Ah well. I'm getting a headache. Best not to get into it.

A friend made me read the start of this one Gravitation fic. It wasn't abd, but the concept of it was a little creepy. Shuichi meets someone online in a chat room and gets to be friends with him. He doesn't know that the other person is Tohma, and Tohma doesn't know the other person is Shuichi. But Tohma figures it out first. And he even said to him "I hate my boss!" That guy IS his boss. XD But yeah...that's life's little lesson for today, folks. Never say anything you wouldn't want shouted from the rooftops and be careful who you chat with. People are scary.

Neways...I dunno. I can't figure out much else to say for today. Sorry the pics in the last post made my site wider. I hate when that happens. Oh well. How are you all doing? I hope I amde it to everyone's site! Oyasumi!
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*Gravitation! Taki from Ass-i mean, Ask(the band), just showed up at Yuki's apartment, and gave him an earfull. Shuichi came to the rescue-kind of. Now the guy left-but he'll get his from Tohma*

"Yuki, are you alright? Are you hurt? Did that bastard do anything to you? What did he say to you?"

"You're the one who...was hurt by him..."

"Huh? What? Me? By sourpuss? Why are you bring that up again? Don't worry about that. It's all in the past! Right now, let's focus on you."

"But it's my fault..." *Yuki covers his face* "I remember now..it's my fault...I ended up making you..."

"Yuki...? What's the matter?" Something's wrong...

"...making you go through the same thing I did back then..." *he's crying*

HE'S CRYING!? "Y-Y-Y-Yuki! I'm sorry! It's my fault!"

"I only w-wanted to be with you..."

Omigod--what's going on here?! Yuki's losing it!!!

"But I can't...I don't want to remember...because if I do...I don't want to be hurt again. I can't deal with that kind of pain anymore. I don't want to kill...not again..."

*Shuichi hugs him...then a couple minutes later...*

"Don't worry. No one is going to harm you anymore. No one's going to hurt you. I'll protect you..."

"Shut up! Your voice is annoying!"

"GOD DAMN YOU! I'm trying really hard to make you feel better by saying all this goofy shit!!!"

"Well, fuck you! I haven't cried in six years! My head feels like it's going to split open!"

"WOW! Six whole years?! You're hardcore! I think I cry at least once every day!"

*Yuki stuffs his face in a pillow* "You think that's cool...?"

"Oh, totally! It's like you're some guy from a Kate Bush song! The dark and brooding stranger!"

*Yuki actually smiles*

Wow, sorry that was so long! It's from the manga, that's why. x_x
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These go with the quote:






These are just more cute Naruto ones:



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Thursday, November 10, 2005

   dun dun dun
I wonder now if Jen is checking up on my site here. >_> If ya are, Jen, I admit the kiss wasn't just your idea it was mine, too. There. XP Too bad only users can comment, I think...

Anyways! I noticed you all liked the last comic thingy best. Me, too. It was way cute. I still can't believe Itachi would-crap, can't say it for those who don't know. *cries* But i don't think he's all bad...I bet Sasuke will be THIS close to killing him and suddenly, he'll see regret in his eyes or hear an "i'm sorry, but it was the only way to make you truely strong"(or some crazy reason like that) and then Sasuke won't be able to do it. Maaaaybe. I dunno. We'll see! Sadly, the people ahve announced that Naruto is gonna be filler episodes until the end of the season, then we go onto getting Sasuke back before orochimaru steals his-*shuts up*

Todaaaaay...I didn't do much. the usual. Apparently on Monday I have to go to Reenie(my mom's friend)'s house in order to try on an outfit she bought me. *dies* Just cause she has no daughters...*grumbles* it's a DRESS, too. I hate wearing skirts and stuff...oh well.

Genki desu ka? I'm fine. Erik leaves in about four days. Sunday he's staying overnight with Gina, BIG surprise, so he'll be gone and Monday we can start moving stuff. I don't really want my room down there, but...yeah. Not much of a choice since my mom wants Kyle upstairs. At least I won't have to pick up his toys in the living room anymore. Ah well. Ja ne!
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I've been the same old me
For all these years now...
So I ask myself,
Why can't I go on
Living an easier life?

Everyone's moving so fast
On the streets...
And here I am, content
Even though
I don't know why
I'm struggling so much.

So instead of wanting
To go back to being a child...
I'd rather try to embrace today
And live for the future,
Just accepting my fears.

I want to go to a sunny place...
And live on,
Stronger than ever.
I'll overcome those places
And times in my mind...
I can change my life.

I'll never run out
Of things in my heart
And life to share
With the world.
So I ask myself,
Why can't I go on
Living an easier life?
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Tuesday, November 8, 2005

   ^^
Thanks all for your comments! They made me happy. ^^

ANYWAY! So...um...I don't know. Not much happened today. I'm tired...I'm goin' to bed. How are you all doing? Nite nite!
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I swear, I'll work on that comic tomorrow!
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Monday, November 7, 2005

   DUN DUN DUN!
Guess what today is? Anybody know? XP Well, it's my birthday. At the old age of 17, I am proud to say that I am going to bed as soon as I finish typing this. cause I'm tired. But I had FUN!

So what did I do today, you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask, but I'm telling you anyway.XP Well, my mom and I shopped at the Chicago Ridge Mall. Then we had dinner at Red Lobster(big fan of crab >_>). My mom bought me Gravitation volumes 3-6, DNAngel 2, Bleach 2-3, and Fushigi Yuugi 15-16. Then I got this cute little glass frog. Umm...I got new boots(cause I needed them, really)...ummm...earrings that are music notes(music is my life >_>)...oh, a book of that SuDoku puzzle stuff...umm...can't remember, but not much else. We're not rich or anything, so I'm planning to slip my $30 I earned from working with my grandfather into her purse. cause..yeah. *feels guilty* My mom got mad at these two stupid guys who wasted our time because they're pushy sales people and didn't want us to walk away without buying. So they kept trying to cut deals and shit. I could tell my mom was getting pissed. XD So we got away eventually, leaving THEM pissed cause they wasted their time and we didn't buy anything. XD She was also mad at the soda machine cause it wouldn't take her dollar. XD but there was a water fountain there, so we settled for that until we got to red Lobster. It was nice. The people there were really friendly, and the service was good. We were in the bathroom and met this one lady, and she was the one who served us our drinks at the bar.(not just a bar for alcohol)and my mom's like "Oh! It's you!" XD In fact, the service was so good that the second I finished my sprite, the dude was there and asked if I wanted a refill. I was impressed. That is now officially my favorite dinner spot. Anyways, my mom and I really enjoyed the food, and we got to talk a lot, which is good. Ya know...I ended up giving Erik a piece of cake when we got home anyway. x_x

Ya know how my last post talked about missing friends? It's pretty amazing, cause just yesterday(well, technically two days ago now) I got an email from Jen. I'm too tired to go into detail, but we're going to try being friends again. Cause...it's just too hard missing one of your best friends. I never knew she missed me at all(in fact, I thought she was glad to be rid of me)...guess I was, thankfully, wrong. But hey, it's like a birthday present! Who says all presents have to be something material? And you know...just like the last four years...before I blew out the candels(which were the ones that re-light themselves, by the way, so i had a tough time)...I wished that my dad will get to come home soon. I know you're not supposed to tell people what you wished for...but it has never come true, so i don't think it matters. For those who don't know what I'm talking about and want to know, just PM me and I'll tell ya. I don't feel like repeating it on here for the world to see again. gah, I'm crying. Stupid emotions...stupid tears.

Well, I guess I don't have much else to say, and I'm tired...so i'm gonna go to bed. nite nite! I hope you're all doing well, and sorry for not visiting sites too much again. I'll try to do it more, just been busy.
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Two wrongs don't make a right-this isn't algebra.
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Thursday, November 3, 2005

   *yawn*
I was supposed to start working on the final drawings for page two today, but I was a little too lazy...so maybe it'll be ready by friday? We'll see. I don't think I have much in chores to do tomorrow, so I just may be able to get a lot done. ^^

I've had this one thought in my head all day: I miss having real friends. I don't mean real as in true-I just mean I miss having friends who live around here, I guess. Roxanne lived pretty close...we used to go to movies and ahve sleep overs. We saw Bruce Almighty together in the theater and then we couldn't stop saying "it's GOOD" XD or singing "what if god was one of us" just like he does in the movie. I remember seeing Two Weeks Notice, too. I couldn't stop imitating the British guy. "Look! This house is so small, I can walk from one end to the other in five seconds!" Whenever I slept over, after the lights were out, that was our confession time. She'd tell me everything and cry on my shoulder. I'd tell her everything and try my best not to cry. She said I was her only real friend...funny how she let me go so quickly in place of more fake friends, then. Jen lived further away, but...that made what little time we were together for even more important. I would sleep over for like...a week every summer. We watched movies, played video games...ate lots of good food...sat outside at night and burned candles while we talked...and that was actually one of the first times we'd hugged. She's not a touchy-touchy kinda person. Anyways...and we'd both talk about everything at night. Roxanne was always a little...well...yeah. So me and Jen always had these really deep conversations. And, I hope I don't scare any of ya with it, but she was the first girl I ever kissed. It was her idea, but yeah. Needless to say, I've decided I am 100% straight. no worries. And we were just SO close, that we stopped being friends over a stupid argument about paranormal stuff. Point is, I miss having people who's houses I could escape to on bad days...people i could talk to on the phone without it costing a ton...people to hug...people to have fun with...people to give things to and get things from...I just...miss it. Heh. Ignore me. "People...are never what they seem."
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I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
My weakness is
That I care too much
And my scars remind me
That the past is real
I tear my heart open
Just to feel...

"Or, like the great Falls, is the bedrock of my LIFE eroding beneath me?" Bruce Nolan, Bruce Almighty. Falls is Niagra Falls.
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YAOI WARNING!!!








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