Tuesday, July 26, 2005

   Well, fuck.
Why are good days so hard to come by? The day started well....I updated one of my stories...*sigh* but then of course things go bad. Erik had to drive me to the camp now(over an hour and a half away) cuz that lady's car is busted. So...that's not going to be fun. And since he says he has "plans" for tomorrow, he's making me get up at like 6 AM. *sigh* So that's bullshit. And he's like "you better go to bed by ten". Then I'm making dinner and it gets to ten and he's supposed ot be doing chores AND HE'S ON THE FUCKING COMPUTER TALKING TO HIS BITCH AND HER MOM!!! And he's all "I can multi-task" no you fucking can't you asswipe lying bastard! He sits there for a long time, half hour, just typing away to that bitch instead of doing his work. WTF?! Multi-task my ASS.

Then Jeremy's SO wonderful at driving, he scraped some car while pulling out of the parking lot at work. So he didn't know where the police station around there was, so he came to the one around here to report it, they haul him to the other one, and he's in a holding cell and we need to pay $85 FUCKING DOLLARS!! Jesus Fucking Christ, you may as well keep him! Fucking cops-sorry to anyone who knows them-but I fucking hate them and I always will. Some of you knwo why. So Erik left to go do that and that's the only reason he's not on here right now instead of me.

FUCK. Okay, I'm swearing too much, I'm sorry. I'm just so pissed off right now it's incredible. This'll be my last post until Friday. I don't even know if I want to go to stupid camp with all those fucking happy people I'll want to kill them all. But I can't stand being here, either. So I'm stuck. Whatever.

Enjoy your week, everyone, cuz I know I won't. I love you all, and I'll miss you all very much. Sounds sappy, but it's true. Take care of yourselves. You guys can PM or email me or whatever at anytime if you need to, though I won't be able to see it till Friday. Thank whoever-made-this-fucked-up=world for also making music...like metal. Just...shoot me now.







-----------------------------------
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more....
I lay dying
And I'm pouring
Crimson regret and betrayal.
I'm dying...
Praying...
Pleading...
And screaming...
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation...
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation...

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long...
Will you be on the other side?
Will you forget me?
I'm dying...
Praying...
Pleading...
And screaming...
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

...I want to die!

My wounds cry for the crave
My soul cries for deliverence...
Will I be denied?
Christ-tourniquet-
My suicide...

Tourniquet - Evanescence

No, I'm not going to kill myself, don't worry.
Comments (2)