Wednesday, August 17, 2005

   School sucks!
man, so many of you started school this week, so I'm sad that you're gone. *cries* Well, today I got a lot of work done, and I feel good. I feel good knowing what i'm making for dinner everyday so I don't ahve to freak out and make something up out of my head. Thanks goodness. I love planning things.

The other day my little brother was arguing with me. He did something(i forget)and when I confronted him about it, he smacked me with a bag full of hard plastic parts. owwie. I got a bruise.

Erik's been rather...nice to me lately. But he isn't around enough to argue with me, so that's probably why. ha ha...

Jeremy had his friend over today. She seems okay to me. They watched a horror movie..I would have watched, too, but I was busy doing dishes and making dinner. Oh well. He still isn't home yet.

A friend offered me money. *gapes* I don't know what to do about it. She insists i take it and do something nice for myself with it. Like...go somewhere or something, When I told her I couldn't possibly do such a thing, especially with my mom needing to get out and working hard to keep this house and all...then she suggested that I use it to take my mom somewhere...I think that would be nice. I guess I'd be okay with it...as long as almost all of it went to my mom. She says she owes it to me...she explained it, as anyone else who says that has. I guess I don't understand it. I don't help people for rewards...I never expect to be repaid. I do what I do...because I want to. Because I feel good helping people. Sure, I guess it's nice to get something for your efforts...but the friendship itself is what i feel I get for my efforts. A lot of people have told me they feel like they can trust me so easily. I wonder why that is? I guess it could be because I'm honest. Or maybe it's just because of the fact that I put so much of myself into helping and never ask for something. I don't know. What i do know is...that I want to be someone people can trust. I know what shit life is and I know what it's like having no one to count on...so that's what I try to do. Give all my friends/people I meet/etc someone they know they can depend on no matter what. Cause I would never intentionally hurt the people I care about. My enemies, on the other hand...

I wanted to draw something tonight, but never got around to it. A friend had me go into a aol chatroom with her and two people she knew. So it was three girls and one guy...and I gotta say, this guy was like a kid who just hit puberty. Totally sex-obsessed. Nasty. So after he was gone the three of us kinda laughed about it ha ha. What a jerk he was. He kept asking for all of our pictures and stuff...ugh. Oh well. We pissed him off in the end. He was all like "i'm going to bed now...unless someone wants to ahve so fun." but we all said no. he said we ruined it ha ha. What an asswipe.

Neways...I need to get to bed. I hope you're all doing well. I know, I worry too much. And I try not to cause I trust you all to amke good choices...but too many times have I come online to find something bad happened and I wasn't there. I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty. Like I could ahve done more. Like...maybe if I'd been there...things would be alright. But well...I don't know. Okies, I'll shut up now. Ja ne!
-----------------------------------
I just can't look
It's killing me...
-----------------------------------





Comments (4)