Saturday, December 17, 2005

   Looong day...
Well, today was a long day and it seems I have another one ahead of me. What today was like would be generally what everyday would be like-if I did everything instead of procrastinating. Most of the day was back and forth between laundry and dishes and cleaning. Plus once Kyle was home from school he was bugging the hell out of me to get him characters on Tekken 3. XD So, I just gave him my memory card which has all but one character and he was happy. But he made me vs him a few times and then every couple minutes he'd pop into the kitchen while i washed dishes with a "Guess what I did!" or "Come see!" XD Oh well. I worked up until 12:30 AM. It is currently 2:35 AM. Now, I'm sure if I kept up with things better everyday wouldn't be SO terrible, but...well, that's my life for you. It's kind of sad...mom and Jeremy work all day so I'm by myself a lot. Like...today. Kyle got home around 3:30 PM, but then went to bed at 11:30. Jeremy got home around 11, but went to bed very soon after. Then I was by myself again until my mom got home around 1ish. She had some coffee that I had made before she got home and smoked her cigarette and watered a few plants, then went to bed. So here I am. lol Then I'm gonna shower before I hit the sack.

Tomorrow I gotta get up early. *sigh* Well, I shouldn't complain. See, this one church gathers money from fund raisers and stuff and then go and buy presents for the children of inmates...and my dad put down me and my little brother, when they visited over there. So, tomorrow, we're not staying for the party, cause Jeremy has work, but we're going to drop in and receive the gifts and say thanks. I...should be happy, right? There's just...something incredibly...sad about it. Maybe because...in my heart I know that...he should be buying them himself. I should write to him...

Anyways...today was just boring cleaning, so I don't know what else to say. Jeremy's gonna take me Christmas shopping yet again on Sunday. Hopefully I can find more than the last two times. I'm having him check on a CD my mom wanted at Circuit City tomorrow while he's there. I hope they have it.

My mom bought this little mini pine tree that I'm going to decorate for Christmas(we still have to get out big tree up)...he's Bonzai Bob right now, until I can think up a better name.

I guess that's all. It's best to...get my moments of sadness over with and then just move on from them. The longer you dwell on something, the more painful it is. So I try...to move on from it as quickly as possible, because I don't need anymore sadness, you know? The sad truth of the world is that people who have "depression" and things like that...they can fix it themselves. And honestly, they're the only ones who CAN fix it. It's stupid they have pills for it and stuff. Cause, they did a test. They took a bunch of people into two groups. One group got actual pills and one group got sugar pills. But both groups were told that it was actual medicine that would make them better. Turns out the group with the sugar pills got better faster-only to find out they had done it on their own. Everything like that is psychological and completely in your head. So...it's proven people can cure themselves. The true question is...do they really want to? Oyasumi!
----------------------------------
Cause I'm broken
When I'm open
And I don't feel like
I am strong enough...
Cause I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away...
----------------------------------







Comments (4)