Saturday, February 11, 2006

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Sorry I haven't been around...life sucks.

It’s snowing. I used to be happy when it snowed…but right now, everything is ugly and depressing. It’s like the earth is being covered in a purity that mankind doesn’t deserve. Yesterday my mom was telling me how the only reason Erik makes me feel bad is because I let him. It’s true, I know-but it doesn’t make me feel any better knowing it. Since the really bad fight, I’ve been pretty calm when dealing with him…on the outside anyway. Inside I want to scream and beat his face in. I told my mom I wanted two or three more piercings in my left ear, but she won’t let me. She says it’s against the church and blah blah blah. So…when I’m 18, I’ll just go get it done on my own. Maybe I’d like a tattoo…the symbol for meiyo, which is honor. I don’t know…does it seem like I’m just trying to rebel or something? There’s a little bird sitting in the bush outside the window…trying to protect himself from the snow storm. I’m tired of going through storm after storm…will it never end?

When you walk
Through a storm
Hold your head
Up high…
And don’t be afraid
Of the dark…
At the end
Of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet
Silver song
Of a lark…
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams
Be tossed and blown…
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone
You’ll never walk alone…

My mom introduced me to that song long ago. It’s hard to really think of it in times like this. Reenie just called. *groan* she has some stupid party going on…I don’t want to go. I don’t think I can anyway. I have an awful lot of chores to do…and dinner to make. I just can’t go relax at some party. Well, Jeremy and his girlfriend are over. I don’t mind, but still…well, I have to go do chores anyway. Seems that tehy're buying us Chinese food tonight...means I don't have to cook. yay. Tiff rocks, Gina sucks. I mean, Tiff is kinda an old family friend(well, we're friends with her whole family) so she's like family already...but Gina...yuck. It feels like Gina's always watching and judging you. Cause she has this problem with thinking everyone judges her, so she's always watching everyone so if they say something she has something to say back. what an idiot. Well, duty calls. Ja ne.
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You couldn't say
"Needed someone new."
You actually thought
That deep inside I knew...
Can you tell me
How can you say
Why this should suffice...
You passed me by
In your heart as cold as ice.
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sorry, no pics today...I can't think enough.
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