Birthday • 1991-03-29 Gender •
Female Location • the dephts of hell Member Since • 2007-02-03 Occupation • shinigami Real Name • if i tell u i have to kill you
Personal
Achievements • writing 2 books Anime Fan Since • as long as i can remeber Favorite Anime • FMA, Inuyasha, Naruto, Ereaka 7, Yu Yu Hakoshu, Ruruoni Kenshin, Bleach, Trinty blood, Tokyo Mew Mew, Zoids, Fruits Basket, Hakaru no go, Prince of tennis, D N angel, One Piece, Mizasiki's movies, Sailor moon, Negima and the list goes on and on Goals • to rule the world with my shinigami powers and my shinobi abilities Hobbies • reading manga, hanging with friends, playing video games, watching anime, writing, singing, dancing, going to anime club Talents • dancing, writing, reading, singing, watching anime, mutitasking, and babysitting
myOtaku.com: Shinigami shinobi
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Hello everyone it became clear how mess up i am on Halloween. I was out with my friends evryone was having a good time but i just couldn't smile no matter what i did. In short i couldn't control my emotions any longer and i just snapped everything came spilling over all the tears i been rejecting all regrets i been holding in, they all came brusting out at once. That night everyone saw just how much pain I've been going through in these all couple months. And they couldn't do anything. No one had any idea how bad i really was. I suppose im a better actress then i thought if i was able to find that kinda pain for so long. Comments (0) |
Permalink
Friday, October 16, 2009
OH MY GOD!
I cant believe this today some girl decides to comfront me today as im comforting my friend. this girl is so annoying get this, everyone knows what happened to my best friend and everyone knows that Im trying so hard to deal with it. Well she comes up to me and says this: "You think you can help her feel better? Why dont you try to stop crying over that retarded friend of yours. I mean really its so old if she matter so much she wouldn't have tried to kill herself. You can't help anyone and you should stop trying to."
She said this all snobbing like. Yeah shes right that i still cry over it but what the hell do people except. at least im trying at least im want to help my friend through her hard time. I had to walk away i didnt want to cause my friend still needed me but I knew seeing me cry would do her no good. I don't know if anyone stood up for me or what But that was harsh and uncalled for. This was suppose to be my year but all that i see from this year is pain and tears. Man god must hate me if he wants to put through all of this. I cant even be mad at that girl because she was right and deep down i know it.
oh my god why cant people let it go! Everyone excepts me to just go back to normal like nothing ever happened! BUt I cant. dont they see that if they keep pushing me that im just gonna lose it. no one is helping because no one understands. and get this the stupid ass my one friend was dating broke up with her for no reason! Now i have to try to force a sympahic smile to make her feel better when I myself still cant find happiness since my best friend left me. Everyone really needs to back off if they dont want me to crack. Im trying but they dont care! God i just wish i could disappearinto the darkness and pain of my own heart. where i can cry and scream all i want without eyes watching and judgeing me all the time.
OK so now im annoyed first the school decides that im emotional unstable and then they send me to some shrink against my will! Is that even legal? So Im upset im not hurting anyone im not hurting myself. Leave me alone thats all I ask of them but do they listen NO! They want to "fix" me. do they have nothing better to so then make things harder on me! They just dont get it I can't stop being upset. School bad enough without them. I mean I already have a hard time not crying just from being in the school but they keep forceing me to think and face the fact that my best friend is gone and isn't coming back. DO they think its easy for me to know that she wanted to kill herself and i couldn't do anything? Do they think that I can just simply forget a friend that has been with me for seven years! They know nothing about me and they think they can "fix" me. This is my issue and they need to let me deal with is on my own. Comments (0) |
Permalink
Monday, September 21, 2009
hey its nice to finally get back on the internet again. my computer died on me took awhile to buy a new one and a lot of money too (poor wallet). Anyways school started back up and im in my senior year of high school. I know this should be a happy year for me but its not. I lose a lot over the summer and no one at school can very understand how I feel. My best friend was suicidal last year and she left over the summer for "help" but when she called me to tell me this she told me that she couldn't face me. she said she was sorry but I just can't believe that leaving was her chocie. Not when we had so many plans set in place for senior year. My other best friend moved across country. So in my senior year without my best friends and Im unable to even talked to the first one. And that is killing me inside because we used to talk All the time. You couldn't tear us apart I used to think our friendship was strong enough to face down anything that came at us apparently i wrong. I learned that emotions could cause problems so I put on an act at school to hide how i really feel but my friends can see through it they know that im trying but i think they wish i would just surrcum to my emotions already. But I can't if the teachers saw they would question me and I cant talk about this to someone i don't trust i just cant! Keeping it all in hurts but its better then having some teacher pretend to care and understand. They would never understand and thus they will never know me. But enough the sad suft how are all pals doing its been so long!
This is how I feel when I walk the halls of my High school without my best friend at my side where she belongs!
i Know its been forever but right now my life is falling apart my uncle is in the hospital, my boyfriend's grandmother just died and my best friend is was just put into hospital (pm if you want more info on that last one.) but yeah my life is hecktic so how are all of you
hi there otaku world! well things have been weird these last two weeks. lets start with my b-day party it went fairly well i even managed being a match maker to my best friend and my bf's best friend. then came school went by in a blur with my counsulor once again bugging me about nothing totally waisting my time. ok thats about it for good things now onto the drama that never seems to leave my god damn life! get this the first day of my easter break i get sick (still am) then if thats not bad enough my best friend calls me that day crying her brains out cause her mom wnats her to break up with her new bf the very one i hooked her up with! so sick as dog barely able to breath outdoors i walk the hour walk to her house to do what best friends do, make everything better. then the next day as im getting ready to go to the movies with friends i get a call my cousin is the hospital! he got food posioning from Sonic and if thats not bad enough he went into diabetic shock! well he stayed there for 3 days and is now better. but today a lovely day i knew from the second i got out of bed that things are going to go wrong and boy was i right! I didnt get the solo i tryout for in choir i really wanted to, i tripped the top of the school stairs and wound up with messing up my ankle a bit had to sit listening to a leacher from the nurse about hallway safety. god it wasnt even my fault i was PUSHED damnit! then at lunch everyone at the table decided to steal my food and i was starving. oh the best part of today my darling best friend wants to break up with the guy i hooked her up with now either way it goes i got one friend whos gonna be hurt. god i hate my life theres just to much drama help if you can but i dubt anyone can help.
birthday
hi there everyone its my birthday today im finally eieghteen! yay adulthood! kay todya im going out bowling with my boyfriend and a few friends see yas laterz
hi there well not much to say i been taking state testing this yuck! i changed my theme because of my birthday coming up and twilight dvd release is this saturday! yes im a TWILIGHT fanatic and im proud of that! well how are you guys its been too long. well got to go back to party planning (b-day party and twilight release party) Comments (0) |
Permalink
Sunday, March 1, 2009
hi there last time i mentioned that my gradfather was hospitalize well he still is but his condition has stabilized. other the same old life with a touch of drama hitting at me im ok. as you all can see i put up the birthday counter i will be 18 on march 29th. oh and im trying out for a solo for my choir concert next month tryouts are gonna be on tuseday i so want that solo. ok see ya around.
i Know its been forever but right now my life is falling apart my uncle is in the hospital, my boyfriend's grandmother just died and my best friend is was just put into hospital (pm if you want more info on that last one.) but yeah my life is hecktic so how are all of you
birthday