Thursday, April 8, 2004

My world is falling apart at the seams...
My brother, as some of us know, is a huge James Bond fan. So, it was no surprise when he purchased the latest Bond game, Everything or Nothing. And, as we all know, I'm not that big on James Bond games. Sure, they're okay, but they're not something I'd sit down and play for, say, an hour and eleven minutes.

UNTIL NOW.

EoN is, surprisingly, a James Bond game I have nothing to complain about. The cooperative multiplayer mode is quite enthralling, as it's got its own minute story line. And there's the OMFG THIS IS LIKE SOMALIA SO MANY BADDIES *blange to the nth degree* factor. The weapon selection is typical of a JB game (a lot of real weapons with some fantasy rocket launchers thrown in), but there's definitely a big change ahead for any HARDCORE YARR 00 Agents like my brother: The game is no longer a First-Person Shooter.

Oh no, my friends, this is something far different. Instead, 'tis in Third-Person. Wait! No, come back! Yes, I know that, with the exception of SOCOM, Metal Gear Solid, and Splinter Cell, TPS games have a horrendous track record! But fear not, for EoN does not falter. This is, surprisingly, a genuinely solid TPS. The camera angles don't become metaphysical tormentors, and you don't get caught on an object while moving around. The aiming system is also well-done, with good accuracy yet enough misses to keep the realism factor in check.

The story mode, as I've seen from the first cinematic, involves terrorists, a suitcase nuke, and a guy in a huge coat with an out-of-character voice. (My brother skipped right to the multiplayer. >_< ) So, I'm afraid the verdict on the single-player missions will have to wait until later. This court is adjourned, and we find the multiplayer aspect of James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing guilty of nothing worse than a horrendous B-Movie title. We sentence it to a 10/10. We will resume hearings on the single-player portion tomorrow.

Okay, now that you're done watching Court TV, let's switch to something else.

Upon walking into my house, I saw a headline in the paper reading: Militants Gain Partial Control of 3 Iraqi Cities. Is it just me, or is this whole Iraq situation turning into Bush's own personal Somalia? I know, I know, Senator Kennedy already called it Bush's Vietnam, but hey! Bush wants to throw a zany evangelist religious agenda into everyone's lives, so why not throw another war comparison into his resume?

Speaking of Bush, I still haven't had account confirmation from FearBush.com!!! Is it really that hard to just say "Welcome to the club, please take your shoes off before entering"?

I'll be back with more witty satire later in the week. Itte ki masu, and enjoy your SPRING BREAK.
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Wednesday, April 7, 2004

   Nobuo Uematsu has a band!!! Geeks rejoice!
A few days ago, my friend Caru hands me this burned CD. It says on the front: "Nobuo Uematsu: BLACK MAGES". Instantly recognizing the awesomeness that is Nobu, I popped it into my CD player. And as I said, Nobuo Uematsu, the man responsible for the beautiful, cool, etc music in most of the Fianl Fantasy games, has his own band. Ironically, he named it "Black Mages". :D Humor.

All of the music is from Final Fantasy games. What's great about it is that the songs are done in rock-ish styleness. It sounds great, and it's really enteraining (and creepy) when you hear a song and instantly attach it to a certain character, game, or battle sequence. Just don't start ranting about the sonic awesomeness that is Nobu around people who don't play Final Fantasy, or are just "too cool" to do so. You'll only be wasting your breath and time.

In other news, I've managed to borrow the latest Dynasty Warriors game from a friend, and all I can say is: GOOD GAMING. I've played Dynasty Warriors demos before, but I had no idea the games were that good. There is only one complaint I have with this game: The multiplayer screens have, from game to game, remained the same. That is to say, too small. But the game in and of itself is insanely awesome. Which is another reason why I can't wait for Samurai Warriors, which is Dynasty Warriors... with samurai. Go figure. Oh, and the obligatory ninjas/kunoichi. Must buy!

A final complaint: Why is it that my school's internet filtering program is such a piece of crap? It has everything related to the Otaku domain (including this blog) blocked under the reason?=GAME category, whereas the site for X-Play (a video-game-only show on TechTV) is not blocked out. Not that it should, but neither should Otaku. And it's also got John Maddox blocked out (properly under reason?=OBSC ). Snap.

Itte ki masu. And join my boards! Debate Here!!!
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   Sleeping in is fun!
Well, I've only been up for half an hour, so I apologize for the lack of an explanation as to my current energy. Well, relative energy. Anyways, good news has reached me.

My younger brother has brought home a library book known as FrontPage 98 for Dummies. But that's not the good news. You see, the only reason he checked the book out was for the disc contained within. This disc has a copy of PaintShop Pro 4.0! It's supposed to be an evaluation program, but the thirty-day limit has, insofar, not caught on to the "it's been two days, tard" factor.

This is good news. Finally, I can create avatars, banners, and a logo for my boards (doncha love shameless self-advertising?), and one that doesn't look like it was made in Paint under the influence of less-than-reputable substances. (Wait a minute, Microsoft Paint is less-than-reputable!)

Also, I'm almost done with Dante's Inferno, and I'm hoping to complete the entire Commedia before school's out.

I'm off to explore PaintShop Pro (PSP. /me wants one. The SONY kind.)!!! :D
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Monday, April 5, 2004

   Hell Froze Over! (Okay, so it was only the Northwest...)
Today, April 5th, in New York, it SNOWED!!! It was a practical blizzard! IN APRIL! Yet another reason for me to move out of this state. Fortunately, it's almost all melted by now, and no more snow is scheduled.

So, why the laughter icon? It's simple: My grandmother is, as I type, flip-flopping through a rant on many different topics. First, it was a zealous pro-Jesus rant which was completely factually unsound. Apparently, Buddhism, Islam, and Zoroastrianism (though she has no idea what it is) both were not founded until after Christianity, and when they were, it was only to spite Christians. >_< Then it jumped into jingoistic, pro-Bush Go America Go! babbling. And now, she's going on and on about how the Native Americans have been cheated by the US, while still maintaining her fervent pro-americanism. I'm not sure how she does that... Anyways, you can see where I get my views. I don't have my beliefs simply to spite her, I believe what I believe because, after hearing the same things both inside and outside of my own home for my entire life, I've thought long and hard and found problems with such beliefs. Thus, as is the tendency of rational/intelligent life-forms, I formulated my own opinions based on long-contemplated, logical thought. (Just thought I'd throw that out there.)

In other news, if it snows again, I will go ape on the back of someone's skull. I will also do the same if I don't get my account verified soon with FearBush!!!
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Sunday, April 4, 2004

Super-Spin Zone!
Hilarty ensued! Bill O'Reilly has his own site. Big surprise.

Anyone who's seen his show has heard him, at least once, proclaim himself a "common, working man" (or something along those lines). A man on the level with Bob from Accounting. Laughable.

On his site, O'Reilly's got a store with Bill O'Reilly mugs and hats. He's got advertisements for his books. He currently has a link to an article or something about a "public appearance". (If he's a "working man", why does he have book signings and his own show?) To peruse most of the site, you have to pay a monthly subscription fee of $4.95!

Apparently, "No-Spin Zone" doesn't apply to Bill. Just everyone else.

Oh, and I'm still waiting for account verification at FearBush.com's forums. But from what I saw, the site's members are the typical mishmash of cultures. You've got the sensible, logical people who present their views in a rational, non-inflammatory way. And then there are the extremists who use the entire dictionary of curse-words, without once conveying their point. So, it's your average forum.

It's just that I signed up last night, and still haven't had my account verified!!! ARGH! Itte ki masu, and if you see Bill O'Reilly, point him to my site. He'd try and get me on-air, I know it.

Oh, and could SOMEBODY JOIN MY FORUMS!? http://joshu06.proboards23.com
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Saturday, April 3, 2004

   Hey, cool. I found a place that completely agrees with me!
While trudging through the internet, I stumbled across this little gem:

FearBush.com

Insofar, I'm a bit skeptical. The forums of this site may be nothing more than the stereotypical Bush-bash-fest. Then again, I don't like Bush, so I think it's worth checking out. I'm holding my judgment until I've perused the forums a great deal. But I thought I'd just give you faithful readers the heads-up, should I begin another stream of anti-Bush rhetoric. Itte ki masu.
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Friday, April 2, 2004

Wow. Two Chronicles of Tard in one night.
We all know how much I dislike Fred Phelps. And here's why: http://pennlive.com/news/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1079260392213450.xml

The man is, for all intents and purposes, insane. Want proof?

"There's something wonderfully liberating, especially when you're 74, in the notion that you're 100 percent right," he says. I believe they call that state of mind SENILE, Fred.

If you have the time, read the article. You'll see exactly why I don't like the man. According to him, "Godly love" is a lie created by Satan, and God only hates! That is hypocrisy to the nth degree.
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A new addition to the Chronicles of Tard
Hilarity ensued on the bus today. Two complete morons got caught... smoking on the bus, with all the windows closed!!! How retarded do you have to be to think you'll get away with that!? But that's nto all! On the way up to the front seat (so the driver could keep an eye on them), they basically dropped F-Bombs on every person on their way up from the back seats. When one freshmen girl made a justifiable retort, the taller, skinnier, Slim-Shadier one decided to verbally threaten her. And then her older sister jumped in, telling the kid that he'd better not "mess with her sister again". Which was justifiable. So, what does Slim Shi-er, Shady do? He starts threatening her with the old "My friends'll meet up wichoo! **** **** (insert racial slur, despite the fact that the girl is white) mess you up", etc etc. I sincerely wanted to get up and punch that kid in the face.

But seriously, the two are, quite possibly, the most retarded people I know. And that's quite a feat, believe me.

In other news (NOT AGAIN! >_< ), tomorrow, I will likely see the just-released comic-book demon flick, Hellboy. So, you'll get my cheery review (spoiler-free, to boot). And please, if you're reading this, and love to debate, feel free to join Ground Zero. Oh, and I'm reading Dante Alighieri's The Inferno, so you can expect some deep philosophy from me, too. Itte ki masu.
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Thursday, April 1, 2004

   April Fool's Day... SUCKS
Like hundreds of others across the globe today, I have been "Punk'd". By whom, you ask? None other than the fine folks at NationStates, to be precise! You see, for a few hours, every population in the game was shown as the starting pop, 5 million. Having just reached 500 million today, I fell for it. As did EVERY OTHER PLAYER. So, all in all, it was a great prank.

So, why does today suck? To put it simple, my computer monitor... is dying. As I type this, the screen is flickering, and the brightness is becoming less-than-bright. I've had to degauss it a good ten times in the last twenty minutes, which is not a good thing.

"Well, just get a new monitor!" The obvious answer. But, my life is far from simple. I live with my grandparents, which means a few things. Primarily, it will take a great long time to convince them to purchase a new monitor, as they will somehow try and convince me that a flickering screen is normal. Then, it will take me forever to get them to buy A GOOD ONE. The best part? I will be blamed for "breaking" it. Despite the fact that this is a monitor made by "Future Power", whom I had no idea even MADE monitors, and an old monitor at that. I've had this computer/monitor/printer/speaker combo for at least four or five years, with no changes to it whatsoever. Thus, this monitor has run its course. Yet I will still have broken it, for some unknown, unexplained reason (at least my grandmother will believe I broke it).

In short, this is a prior warning in case I am unable to use the computer for quite some time. Fortunately, I have other means of posting. So, in short, this post... IS DONE. Go now, get on with your life.
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Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Vertebrain Infiltrates the Pages of National Geographic: A Nation Mourns
While perusing the April 2004 National Geographic issue, I ran across this retarded letter, dealing with a previous issue's article on the samurai:

"The rising popularity of samurai culture in modern Japan makes me uneasy. American prisoners of war feared the samurai sword during WWII- a time when the samurai warrior code pervaded the Japanese military-because decapitation by sword was a common punishment. Many civilians, mostly Chinese and Koreans, were also beheaded or bayoneted by the Japanese under the twin banners of the warrior code and obedience to the emperor. This is why MacArthur confiscated 5 million swords after the war. To me, the samurai warrior is in many ways similar to the Nazis, and shouting seig heil and goose-stepping are frowned upon practices today. The samurai warrior code deserves to be treated the same way."

This man obviously has no idea what he's talking about. There is NO similarity between Nazism and the Bushido code, at all. Nazism is a racist belief, one that also has no meaning behind it other than pure, unadulterated bigotry and hatred. The Bushido code, on the other hand, is a code of honor, stressing high moral values both in and out of battle. I fail to see the similarity.

The Nazis went around declaring themselves the "master race", slaughtering millions of innocent people out of nothing more than hatred, along with a lifetime regiment of brain-washing. Yes, the Japanese did kill people during World War II. But then again, so did the United States, France, Britain, and Russia. The Bushido code was (and is) a code of standards designed as a guideline for not only battle situations, as per the time of the samurai (and is applicable even in modern times), but also for day-to-day life.

Saying that the Bushido code should be looked upon the same way as Nazism is moronic, factually unsound, and downright insulting to the Japanese people (along with everyone else gifted with a sac of protein housed in their craniums). Bushido was/is to the Japanese what Chivalry was/is to the Europeans. The two codes are, in fact, so similar one could theorize they are indeed the very same. (Not that they are, they're just very, VERY similar) Nazism, on the other hand, had no code of honor within it; unless you consider mindless slaughtering of innocent men, women, and children "honorable".

And thus, I have discovered yet another moron hiding in the midst of the marginally sane.

In closing, I hope more people join my debate forums, and that those same people (if able) vote for John Kerry. Because, in case you haven't noticed... I. DON'T. LIKE. GEORGE W BUSH. :D
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