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Tuesday, February 8, 2005


   Why I hate working for the military....
A list a few of my friends came up with why we hate our job. Its pretty long


REASONS WHY I HATE STAYING NAVY

1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.

2. Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year training for something that there is a 99.9% chance that we will never do.

3. WWWDWOA? (what would we do without acronyms?)

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics before doing them.

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more complicated than picking my nose.

6. Being a personal servant (that's basically all I am) to any one of the 300 thousand people in the navy who out-rank me.

7. Being a grown man and having somebody inspecting me everyday to make sure I shaved, put my clothes on properly, and put my shoes on the right feet.

8. Where else would I have the chance to be stuck on a ship with a couple hundred people in the middle of nowhere for six months at a time?

9. Standing "watch."

10. Being guaranteed at least two hours of sleep for every 24 hour period of time.

11. Getting relieved late after standing watch for four hours with a bullet-proof vest on, a 20lb helmet, and a 20lb rifle in the middle of a typical Floridian summer day.

12. Having to wear a "cover," or hat, every time I want to go outside.

13. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding.

14. I couldn't live without having to write a "request-chit" to do anything other than breathe or wipe my ass, only to have it disapproved and turned down with a lame ass reason as to why they turned it down.

15. Where else do you get the chance to spend every night in a bed the size of a shelf in a typical closet?

16. Without the navy's influence and good teaching, I would never have realized that you can sweep water with a broom for hours every time it rains.

17. There just isn't that many jobs out there where you can rest assured that everyone you work for is just waiting to screw you over any way they possibly can.

18. If I got out, I would surely miss the idea of waking up every morning for "muster."

19. Standing duty.

20. If you really want to have fun in life the best way is to go live on a ship all year round even when it is in port, and only go visit your relatives and friends back home once or twice a year, after begging for three months for your boss to let you go and rescheduling your trip 3 times to fit the ship's schedule.

21. Knowing what words like "scuttlebutt" and "bulkhead" actually mean.

22. Getting to wear civilian clothes whenever I am not on the ship.

23. Getting to eat meat that comes in boxes labeled " not fit for human consumption" and "for institutional use only."

24. Where else would you have the chance to be out at sea for 38 days straight, about ten miles off the coast of the Virgin Islands and not pull into a port once? What really made that great was that the captain told us we were going to pull in every week, then we never did. It is really good for your mental health to be strung-along like that.

25. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks. I was "randomly" picked for every test for almost two years straight. Not many people can testify to taking about 50 drug tests in the past two years without having ever been caught doing drugs in my life.

26. Waking up every morning and going to "quarters" where a piece of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the ships internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.


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