Wednesday, April 20, 2005

   feh.

agh. last night, i had a terrible headache. damn. first, lack of sleep. i had a not very good dream. bah. i was in some place, and the land was like, disolving, like eruption of sort. -_-; it's really creepy.

second, someone is courting me. his name is edward, i just met him last month ago. he's an ex-guildmate in Ragnarok Online. at first, i really hate the guy; i thought he's an asshole. come on, we haven't meet personally, just online. so i told him, it's really ridiculous. then we talked over the phone. at first, i told myself, i'll just play along. 'coz i really don't like him and i thought i'll get even. but when i talked to him over the phone, he's not that bad. and a major plus is, he's so sweet. he always ask about my condition, he's so concern about me. isn't that just so nice? ok ok, but i'm still not in favor of this whole courtship because we haven't meet personally. i'm not cute. i dunno if he'll like me. -_-; yeah yeah, i have a very low self-esteem. T__T blame that to my past experiences. bleh. -_-; i just don't want to hope that high, i don't want to get disappointed again.

edward is courting me, and a guildmate like me too. his name is jehu. jehu is my husband in Ragnarok Online. in Ragnarok, you can get marry to another opposite character. but nothing personal, really. it's just a game, neh? i just want to experience the whole thing that's why i agree to marry jehu's hunter and we had an agreement that we won't take it all seriously. but i think, jehu's not keeping what's on the agreement. -_-; jehu and i doesn't have any romantic relationship. and now, he's jealous of edward. but jehu is not courting me, only edward. -_-;

last night, we talked over YM; jehu, ronald (our Guild Master, our leader), a friend of both of them, me and edward. they created a conference room. i thought, they're just going to talk to edward. but later on, they're just insulting him, harassing him. isn't it offending? they're cussing and such, all along, edward was just quiet, he doesn't want trouble. i really feel bad for edward. why are they doing this to him? he have the right to court me, neh? jehu and i are not lovers, only our characters are married. just in the game. just in the GODDAMN GAME!

feh. -_-; sorry for vending it all out here. -_-; i just couldn't help it. i'm really really disapponted with them.

anywayz, i'll make my rounds now.

ja ne~

We're all living pinocchios, right? - Samantha Mackenzie from the movie First Daughter

i really love this movie. XD~

i really like hinata! ^_^ she's my favorite girl in naruto. ^_~
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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

   ^_^

wow. thanks for the warm welcome guys. ^_^ ok ok, time for explainations. ^_^;;;

i was away for a while. why? i was busy. not with school though, i was not attending school. hehe. but i plan on going this semester. i was busy with my life, fixing a lot of problem. and raijin-sama, my boyfriend, was busy too. he wants us to go online together. so i couldn't go online even if i want to. time passed, i missed myO a lot. i really think, myO is a perfect place for me to blog. plus, i like the people here, you guys are great! ^_^ and we all can relate to each other because we all like anime and manga, neh? ^_^

second, why a new account? i want to start anew. raijin-sama and i broke up, just a couple of weeks ago. i want to have a new identity, my own identity. why we broke up? maybe the problem's on me. i couldn't fulfill my responsibility. i was not ready for a very serious relationship. maybe i was not mature enough, neh? and it's also my fault, i rushed into things. i entered our relationship even if i'm not very much prepared. oh well, learn from my mistakes. -_-;

maybe some of you wonder what's my avatar. well, she's my character in Ragnarok Online, a MMORPG (Multimedia Online Role Playing Game). erm...i'm not very sure if MM means Multimedia. teehee. i forgot. ^_^;;;

anywayz, that's for now, i'll just try to go around again; just like before. ^_^

TADAIMA MINNA!!!!! *mwahugz everyone*

matta ne~

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Sunday, April 17, 2005

   hi there again!

wow. it's been a while since i last visited myO. i miss this place. i miss those who i met here. oh yeah i was once known as fuujin-sama. i was away for a long time...and now, i'm trying to come back here.

why shiowlian? it is my chinese name. ^_^ although the meaning...i think...doesn't fit me. geez. -__-;;

anywayz, hope my old friends here add me again. on to there myOs!!! ^__^

ja ne~


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