Sunday, January 8, 2006

If something happens...where will I go to?...

11:47 PM Well, I found out that in the event of something happening to my mother due to her ill health I should be able to live with Noel until I can get myself situated. Hopefully things won't have to come to that. Though I do know that I won't live with my step-father and step-brothers. No way that I'm living under the Cinderella effect with them. I hate how there's a certain set of rules for me and practically no rules for my step-brothers >,< ...*sigh*...well...not much to say. I know that my life may suck right now, but there's no point in me crying about it. So I won't make too big a deal of everything. Only I can help myself throughout my life.

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Saturday, January 7, 2006

ok...now i'm really confused...

12:36 AM Ok, a few mins ago I finished telling a certain person how I felt about her. I've had these feelings for a long time, since the summer of '05. Trouble is she was always with someone else...so yeah. I do feel a bit better getting it all off my chest...but now I'm a bit more confused. I've tried to get over her before but ended up failing. I tried to move on but the feelings keep returning. I know I could've been with someone before but I didn't becuase a part of me still wanted to wait...*sigh*...also I didn't love that person like I do her. Also...I don't know how she feels...

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Friday, January 6, 2006

*sigh* ...I don't know whether to be happy or sad...

9:04 PM Let's see...today was both a good day and a crappy day. Work was boring and a really slow day. I was so bored that I was cleaning the walls near the ceiling in the concession stand. I got sent home early too. Like around 2:20 PM or sumthin'. So I headed to the break room and took a very short nap...but my neck started to hurt. Happy part So I walked around the hallways and talked to Ashley (booby pillow). Well, sometime around after 4 she was sent home as well. So we both decided to get some food (I owed her some hanging out time). After flipping a coin (many times mind you) we decided where to eat...but due to traffic we chose somewhere else. We went to Wendy's and ate. Then we started talking...for a long time. I really enjoyed talking to her. I told her a lot of stuff about myself and she told me a lot about herself. It was around late 7PM when we left lol. She dropped me off at my apartment and we hugged goodbye. We hugged for quite some time and we reminded each other that I owe her a massage. I also told her that she smelled really pretty (lame, I know) and I said "booby pillow!" and rested my head on her chest. She just laughed and put her head over mine. Now the sad part When I came home I was asked why I didn't call, even though I tried but someone was on-line (we have dial-up >,< ). Well, she told me the bad news. She went to the doctor today and found out that not only does she have high blood pressure, but she also has Type2 Diabetes and a very bad liver. *sigh* ...she told me that I should start considering what I'm going to do with my life in the event of her death...though I know that I'll hardly look to my family for help...my mother is the only link I have that keeps me connected to my family right now...I really don't care much for them... *sigh*...Well, we went to the store 'cause we had to get some more water. Also I needed some more body wash and shampoo. While at the check-out line the cashier started flirting with meh >,> *sigh* v,v I don't even know what she said...but she kept smiling at me...poor girl... Well...I don't have much else to say...ja ne.

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You may want to avert your eyes...>,>

12:58 AM Yeah...that's meh...I took it right after I finished taking a shower...gaze at meh nastiness. *FYI the lip ring is a clip-on, but I think I look ok with one =)* I was pretty bored, so I figured why not *shrugs* I may as well let some of ya know what I look like. So what do you guys think? Work was tiring. According to one of meh co-workers she says that for a word to describe me, it would a combination of "adorable" and "cute"...at least I think that's what she said...maybe "cute" was replaced by "geeky"...I forget *shrugs* Well, I'm really looking forward to Ushicon. A weekend where I can just escape from life over here and hang out with meh friends b^^. Plans for Ushicon: buy some Dir en grey stuff buy some Gackt stuff hang out with Ashley and Jasmine hopefully spend some time with Seth and Tori most likely spend time with the usual guys (Matt, Noel, Mike and Chris) check out if there's gonna be any Naruto or Smash tourneys and Ziopheth, if you're going maybe we can hang out or somethin' So yeah, 21 DAYS TILL!! w00t! P.S. for some strange reason my mother is questioning if I am bi...becuase I've still yet to get a girlfriend...and 'cause I've never made out with a girl...>,>...*sigh* v,v yare yare... Ja ne

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Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Ushi Ushi Ushicon!

For Ushicon I plan on going as a goth boy. I need to buy some makeup and maybe some new pants and a few shirts *shrugs* still not so sure on those, but definate with the makeup. I kinda wanna see if I can do something similar to Gackt in his Malice Mizer days. Hey Seth, can you still help me with the makeup part? Also I'm trying to see if I can find someone (friends or co-workers) that know how to straighten hair and are willing to help me. So far I've gotten one person who's offered, but she's not going to Ushicon...so yeah >,> 23 MORE DAYS!!

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I'ma soo confused!! DX

1:46 AM Aw man I'm so confused! So far I know that 2 girls like me, but I'm not sure if I like someone else @,@ and if I get involved with one of them (one that I know likes meh) it'll be a long distance relationship and I don't know if I could do that. Man, what the hell do I do? And the other girl that likes meh, I dunno if I like her back that way. ahhh! And I think 2 other girls may like meh! I'm really not sure, but one of my friends is pretty confidant that she likes meh...she let me use her boobs as a pillow and said "you can use them anytime" OH GOD I'M CONFUSED!!! @,@

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Monday, January 2, 2006

finally we can return to our meaningless lives

10:30 PM Well, the holidays are finally over. yay! Now there's nothing going on until the dreaded holiday of February that shall not be mentioned within this domain >,< *ahem* Anyways! Today was pretty fun at work. Mike and I were disturbing one our co-workers with the use of our nipples. LOL and I made a joke at one of our other co-workers by saying "Hey! You do have big boobs when you wear tight fitting clothes!" She covered her chest and got all embarrassed. She laughed though so I think it was kinda worth it. It's an inside joke though 'cause she started it lol Well, yeah can't really think of much right now. BIG BOOBY PILLOW! OMG This morning was so awesome! ^,^ My friends think I should hook up with her, but I dunno. Still really confused...can't get the smell of her perfume out of my head though...>,>...mmmmm...what does it mean if you hug a girl for long intervals? like a minute each almost? Oh yeah, she was the same person that was looking for me at work so that we could watch a movie together...which reminds me that I still have to make that up to her. Um, well. Ja ne. Yay for boredom! What does your inner soul look like? (version 3.0......anime pics) brought to you by Quizilla What emotion/feeling is seen in your eyes? *pix**Detailed Results* brought to you by Quizilla ::.What feeling are you trying to hide?.:: (awesome pictures!) brought to you by Quizilla What lies inside your soul (anime pics) brought to you by Quizilla August Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends . What Does You Birth Month Reveal About You? brought to you by Quizilla

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Huh? what's that mean?

The color of your soul... (really cool anime~ish pics!!) by Blonde Angel Your username Your real name Your favorite Anime Your favorite anime character The color of your soul: Quiz created with MemeGen! Is that really true? -,-

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i havn't posted since...last year...

12:03 AM Ok, today Matt and I quested for Pokemon Colliseum for Gamecube...we failed...no fuckin' store had it >,< but we did get to play Guitar Heroes and I bought Dead or Alive Ultimate so it's not that bad. New Year's Eve was boring...guess what it involved? that's right, family. My cousin who came back from the NAVY in Jacksonville didn't even recognize meh >,< and of course my younger cousin was being a jerk. He has this arrogance around him and it's gotten worse since he became 18. But I don't care, I just shoot him down every time he becomes arrogant...I hate arrogant people. So yeah, New Year's Resolutions. Not sure if I have any. I guess if I do it'd probably be to find happiness and finally get a girlfriend that I can love (though both of those are practically one and the same). *sigh*...well...whatever >,< ...laters... Ja ne.

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Saturday, December 31, 2005

yay for strings!

12:54 PM Ok, I was really P.Oed at work last night but I had something to look forward to when I got home. New guitar strings! I finally got some new strings for my acoustic guitar and I was excited. When I got home sometime after 3 AM I started de-stringing it and thus the self crash course began. It was a little confusing at first, but I started getting the hang of it and was successful in re-stringing it. The new strings still need to be broken in 'cause they're getting flat really easily, but I feel accomplished 'cause I tought mehself how to successfully re-string my acoustic guitar b^^ AH! I don't want meh family to kidnap meh tonight! I just wanna hang out with meh friends! DX Ja ne. Hope the rest of you have a good holiday.

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