Thursday, May 25, 2006

Yeah, I'm really bored right now...then again when aren't I? =P I was so bored that I decided to try to find some old friends of mine on MehSpace. I think I may have found 2. I sent messages to them and am hoping that it's really them. I think that'd be nice to talk to them again, though I'm sure many things have changed over the numerous years. Yeah, drama ensued yet again, omfg. Today I did a three-way-call with Ashley and Jasmine. Well, they both kinda got in an argument about how Ashley has to pay money to stay with Jasmine at A-Kon and she doesn't have the money. So she got mad and hung up...well...I felt bad and IMed her offering her money. I figured "She's a friend and I may not even go to A-Kon anywayz...may as well let her go" So I offered. She declined though saying that she "didn't want to take away my money" even though I was offering...and then she said that she only borrows money from family and really really good friends...yeah, that really made me feel special right there =( Yeah well she said it was a misunderstanding about what she said...whatever...anyways, good news is that Jasmine's mother is letting Ashley stay with them so long as she has her own money for food and whatever else she wants to buy...so that's good. Well...yeh, emotions and my heart are still confusing me and i swear it's so troublesome...I wish I knew what to do...Sometimes I wonder "why can't I just be like other guys: vain and selfish. Wouldn't things be easier?" But I don't want to be like that...It's a curse with being a shy boy =/ yeah well... ja ne

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

What to do?

Emotions are confusing but y'know what I hate most? distance. yes, distance is a pain and makes things worse. Which is one of the reasons that I dislike long distance relationships =( but then emotions come into play and...yeh. I do like her, but it sucks that we're so far away from each other. Well, on other news: I wish that I was able to go to MLG (Major League Gaming) in Dallas that happened the past weekend. My friends JesusFreak and Chang went and they said they had a good time. I feel kinda bad 'cause everyone has gotten so much better since last time we all hung out (which was around March in Austin). Yeah, and I havn't improved, if anything I've gotten crappier. Well, what's cool is that JesusFreak, Wes, and Leprachaun got into YouTube. The vid is pretty funny. I'd put the vid on here, but I don't think there's enough room so I'll just put the link up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qssKPU7GgWY Yeh, I told JF: "Shiro887 (2:57:45 PM): too bad i wasn't there Shiro887 (2:58:10 PM): i'd be like "yeh..these guys pwn meh in da face...but i'm cute, so yeh" *smiles and winks at camera*" =P lol Ja ne *EDIT!* Drama rears its ugly head yet again! Jasmine is mad at me becuase I still don't like her and never told her about it becuase I'm afraid of hurting her...man my life is messed up...

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Monday, May 22, 2006

crap day!

Yeh...have a crap day at work...so much sh!t happened...blegh...like...the scale to my register malfunctions, then the monitor freezes...so much crap... I really realized that I hate my job, but I'm not going to leave becuase of the pay, and I need the money. But...I'm probably wrong, but I think one of the girls that work there may like me...but more than likely I am wrong. I dunno, 'cause she always jokes around with me and smiles a lot while talking to meh (then again...quite a bit of girls tend to do that anyways...) and will sometimes laugh and whatever I say...even if it's something stupid...Yeah, I'm probably wrong, but whatevers...just weird The previous night was weird too...yeh...many of you will probably dislike the fact that I did this, but I see no point in hiding since I consider many of you my friends. Well...I was hanging around with Matt and Kevin, we stop by the store to get some drinks and while hanging around the parking lot...yeah, I smoked my first cig. It was weird 'cause I'd never really imagine myself doing that, plus smoke inside you...yeah weird. Gives yah this weird feeling in the back of your throat. Many of my friends (except Kevin, that's who I got the cig from) are telling me "You shouldn't smoke! It's a nasty habit! You'll die from it!" Well...I appreciate the concern...but I'm not gonna become crazy addicted like my old man...F that shit yo! Jasmine kinda got quiet when I told her and she asked "Why?" very quietly. She really hates smoking and also she's allergic to the smoke, it really makes her sick. She just said to never do it around her, which I know I'll never do. She was really quiet the rest of the conversation...I'm pretty sure she's upset with me or something...but, this is how I see it: At least I told her rather than keep it secret and have her find out by someone else. It's weird...I could drink and not many, if any, would care...but if I smoke: "OMG! You shouldn't do that! It's bad!" /sigh v,v Yeah well...don't worry 'cause I won't become a crazy nicotine addicted bastard 'cuase I hardly ever will smoke again. Ja ne

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Saturday, May 20, 2006

physical state: tired as hell mood: happy as a f**k!! "Under the name of FANDOM! I will see Dir en grey! Under the name of FANDOM!! You can't stop my nerdiness! I just bought my tickets! I'm such a happy nerd!" yesh, that was a ghetto rephrasing of "Cleaver Sleazoid" by Diru, but I'm soo really happy 'cause I just finished buying tickets for me and my friend Ryan to the Korn Family Values Tour featuring Dir en grey. Ish gonna be on 8/4/06 (here's a lil' secret...meh b-day is on that month...like a early b-day gift lol) It ended up being $177 for two tix @_@ omg Let's see...last night was really weird and stressfull...some shit happened between me and a friend of mine and I don't really feel like explaining it. btw Seth if you're reading this. I'll gladly try to make it your bday party. Even though I can't rave lol ^,^ I feel bad that I don't have a gift for you though =( I was going to ask if you wanted a ticket to Diru as well for a gift but you got off really fast...and...um...I didn't want to wake you...so um...PLEASE DON'T KILL MEH! T_T Just tell meh what you'd like as a gift and I'll get it fer yah! d^^ *Rock Lee good guy pose* Ja ne! *EDIT!* Happy Birfdur Seth! You're gonna see Dir en grey!! @_@ OMFG!! *dances to "Machiavillism"*

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Friday, May 19, 2006

So apparantly I like gay characters >,>

yeh...random topic but convos with my friend DarkHonor usually include arguments about how chars that I like are gay. First it was just Sasuke and Ky Kiske (AND THEY'RE BOTH NOT GAY!! RAWR!!) and then I showed him a pic of a Sesshoumaru dog...so he asked "You like Sesshoumaru too?" and I said "hellz yeh, he pwns" and I realized what I did...so I said "DON'T YOU EVEN START!" and he did lol with "Wow, so far that's the gayest of them all!" yeeeaaah...so then I started naming other chars I liked and yeh crazy argument lol all in good fun though. Apparantly the only char that he won't bash is Bridget lol Mainly because we're proGay for Bridget lmao =P btw Bridget pwns Haku Yeah well...can't really think of much else to say except...DIR EN GREY IS COMING!! DIR EN GREY IS COMING!! OMFG!! I'm so excited! *headbangs to "Saku"* They're my fav band and they're coming!! @_@ *foams at mouth* 4sho I'm gonna see them! For more info go to: familyvalueslive.com (yes they're touring with Korn, who aren't really that great anymore, but who cares 'cause Diru pwns them in the face!) or: free-will-america.com which is one of the official sites for Diru info d^^ JA NE ZOTO!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

doing: eating ramen and currently listening to "On Skin" by DIVERJE (they're a techno-ish band from New Mexico, quite good) Hey everyone...I'm not as pissed off as I was a few days ago...but yeah... Yesterday I had jury duty...really boring and gross too. I got assinged to a panel for a case where this guy was accused of sexually molesting a child, who also happened to be his daughter...yeah, not very pleasant. Due to the fact that I hate rapists and because the whole thing disturbed me (I'd have thoughts of regret and hate no matter what the verdict was) I wasn't selected for the 12 person jury. As boring as it is...you kinda learn a bit about yourself...Also I got to read "The Count of Monte Cristo" during my down time, so it was all good. Sucks that I was really f**king tired though Lately I got into talking to Ashley again Sunday night. She kinda insisted that I called and the thought I had was "May as well...i'm bored and it's been forever since we've talked" She knows that the me being in the mental ward was fake, but she's not mad about it. Well...I finally understand why we hardly talk anymore. I'm really not a person to just call someone becuase I always feel that i'm interrupting them and getting in their way, so I wait for them to call. Well...she just stopped calling me...and I thought she hated me or something...turned out that her mother told her to stop making long distance calls. and of course I was like "...why didn't you tell me?...all this time I thought you hated me..." and she kinda got surprised and said she was sorry and whatnot. We spent majority of the time talking about music and all that. Apparantly she was surprised when she found out that I liked Creed =/ and other bands like Fleetwood Mac and Heart...she thought I was pure JRock and Heavy Metal...>,> lol and I found out that Ashley played the flute in middle school...lmao Though she was a bit...I guess a combination of sad and upset when she found out that I'm not going to A-Kon. Jasmine is the same way...but I told Ashley "Don't worry, you'll get over it." and she kinda got a bit mad and talked about how she hardly ever sees me...perhaps I was a jerk...but that's really how I feel...people will easily get over my absence...it's no big deal, i'm used to it. Yeah well...that conversation lasted for about 2 hours. Yeah well...I guess that's it for my post today Ja ne...

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Sunday, May 14, 2006

still P.O.ed

I can hold a grudge for a long time...so yeah...A REALLY LONG TIME! At times I hate my rage and hatred becuase it causes me from getting sleep...so it's really tiring for me to hate someone. I feel as if I won't be satisfied until I go all "Edmund Dantes" on his ass. Well...on the night that the "Jesse incident" happened, I was really pissed...but while messing with the TV I saw that they were showing Princess Mononoke on TCM. So I watched it. I felt a bit better...I really love that movie...*sniff* And yesterday was ok...hung out with Noel, Matt and Kevin after work. yeah well...I gotta get ready for a busy day at work. Ja ne

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

I'll beat the crap outta him!!

*WARNING!! CONTAINS LANGUAGE* Earlier I was at Jack in the Box with Matt, Noel, Ryan, and Kevin. While we were there just talking about stuff Jesse walks in! First off let me explain this uber asshole named Jesse: He used to be good friends with Matt and Mike...even Noel thought he was a somewhat cool guy. Then he became the biggest dick ever! When I met him, I knew he hated me...and I returned the feeling. I hated him too. And Noel hates him too. Well, majority of the conflict happened at A-Kon. Jesse used up Noel's entry fee (because he hates Noel and didn't want him to go) AND decided to buy his tickets first and left ours at the last minute so that we could pay $10 extra! ALSO! He ditched us on the last day of the con, so we had to wait at the hotel until we could get a hold of him or his father. Right, back to the event. He walks in with some other friend of his and starts threatening us, especially Noel! Saying how Noel talking shit about him. I'm guessing his source of info was either Mike or Daniel (unfortunately Daniel is STILL defending Jesse...WHY?! I have no fucking idea!!). Noel looked as if he was ready to jump Jesse and beat the shit outta him...I WOULD'VE GLADLY JOINED!! After Jesse quit his bitching, we all decided to not be intimidated by Jesse. And we'll continue "talking shit about him" if not purposely increase it! >=) To Ryan's words "what's he gonna do about it?...beat us up?" Which is true, WHAT THE FUCK WILL HE DO ABOUT IT!! It's him against US! I say we've got him outnumbered. I swear, next time he starts threatening Noel and I, WE'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HIM!!

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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Feeling down

Yeah...I really havn't been too cheerful lately. I remembered that it was the 10th of May...that could've been the reason...but I doubt it since I've been feeling like this for quite a while now. Basically the 10th of May is: my father's birthday. I usually don't find b-days a big deal (especially mine) but...it was just the fact that I havn't spoken to him in a long while. He probably thinks that I hate him right now...for all I know...he could be right...the relationship we have is strange...I have no idea how to describe it...at times I care for him...and others I really couldn't care less. *sigh*...this is weird...I was talking (ok, more like...she was talking and I was quiet) to Jasmine and she said that I was the best thing to have happened to her. When I asked how so, she said that she couldn't explain it. Also she said she hates it when I'm feeling down becuase it makes her sad...yeah. According to her, she still loves me...but...I just don't really return the feeling. It's not just to her...but...it's happened before...I guess I just feel incapable of loving someone...perhaps, I'm really not sure. Usually it's 1) I'm too shy and fear rejection and/or 2) if miraculously a girl does like me and tell me...I don't return the feeling...at least this is what's happened so far in my life. I'm all f**ked up...

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

boredom as always

so yeah...bored again...like usual... And due to the boredom I decided to take some quizzes, so here are the results: Who exactly ARE you? (AnImE PiCs) Mad. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code What Organization XIII member are you? Find out Here! Well, there ya go. Ja ne

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