Sunday, July 3, 2005

slowly recovering...

7:11PM Well, slowly I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I find it strange though that during the past few days every time I feel really depressed it starts raining. Lately boredom has been getting the better of me. For example, during work I was so bored that I grabbed a sheet of paper, wrote "ANIME NERD" on it, and taped it to my shirt. So far my recovery consists of listening to Dir en grey and Gackt, watching my animes, reading, and some isolation from others. I hate how lately at work I always seem to bring things down. When people start talking to me about happy stuff I just tend to shoot it down. For instance, one co-worker kept saying the phrase "I love you" around me. Everytime she said it I just stared at her with cold eyes. Of course she was joking around becuase she has a boyfriend last I remember. Friday night my supervisor Eric and I talked a bit about problems with girls. I found out that he and his girlfriend split and that the day after she started talking to another co-worker. That kinda sucks for him becuase as he said, "What makes it worse is that I work with those two and I'll see them together practically every day." But he's got his sight's now set on one of the new hires, a girl named Crystal. He asked me what I thought about her. I just said, "Well,...I think she's cute." He agreed, but he feels kinda weird since he'll be turning twenty soon and she's still seventeen. She's jail bait as it is for him already. That's what kinda sucks about being eighteen or older and you like a younger girl. You have to watch out if you plan on having a sexual relationship. I don't worry about that though since I doubt I can ever get in a loving relationship anyway. Well, last night Eric set his crosshairs for her. While he, the new girl and I were in the back he started. I was just leaning on the popcorn seed bags drinking my lemonade. He starts telling her as she's sweeping, "You need to project yourself more." She seems to be a bit shy and quiet. I never really heard her talk before other than the times when she would laugh when I would do something weird or when she would ask me a question about something. Then afterwords Eric starts talking about something that happened earlier that day. I kinda went a little psychaotic when Eric acted like he was punching my face and I started yelling that I could take him on and to meet me in the back of the concession stand. He starts staring at me like I'm crazy and I start pushing him to the back while still yelling, then Anthony purposely bumps himself into me while I was walking. Then I start yelling that I could take both of them on at the same time. I then dragged Anthony to the back and we started acting like we were fighting, then I accidently racked him. Not fully on contact, but close enough to hurt him a bit...ok, so it wasn't a bit. Eric then stares at me with his eyes wide open. Well, that night as he's talking about it he starts saying, "I can't believe you really did that to him. But you know, in reality I could take you on dude. It'd be no problem." The new girl Crystal then just rolled her eyes at him. He notices and starts to use it for his advantage. I will admit, Eric does have power, but power doesn't always win everything. But we'll never know 'cause I don't plan on ever fighting him. He's a really cool supervisor even though not many like him as one. Many say he's too bossy. Well, the point of having a job is to work. During work today a little argument started while in box office. Working with me near the end of my shift was Pablo, Giovanni, Jennifer, and Becka. Well, Becka unforunately was placed on a till with no working microphone, so she had to bend over to talk to the customers through the littl hole. I felt really sorry for her, so I tried to get all the customers that came to her over to me instead so she wouldn't have to bend over so much. For one, it really hurts your back after a while. Well, Giovanni starts saying that when I leave he's going to move to my till. Becka starts getting angry because she wanted to use mine when I left, I even said I'd let her. And so everyone starts arguing and Becka just finally yells out, "Why can't you just be a gentleman for once! You're not the one bending over!" Becka hates Giovanni, actually many people hate him, but she was right. He should've thought less about himself and let her avoid back problems. Well, unfortunately someone else ended up taking the till I was on. Before I left though I gave Becka a big hug and told her to take care, usually what I always tell her when I hug her good-bye. Well, I can't really think of anything else to say. I just hope that everyone I care about is doing ok. Sayoonara. Oh yeah, and for those who know me and read this: Don't worry. I have not done anything to harm myself. i.e. intentional cuts or anything

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