Friday, March 23, 2007

my first short story
K its been a while since i updated but i recently had to come up with a short story and i want to see what your opinions are, so please tell me on what i can improve.
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Rage of The tokugawa Era.

Upon the battlefield of the glorious plains of Sekigahara stood the masses of two different armies. The first army belonging to twenty three year old Teranobu Oda. Teranobu stands at the front of his army accounted in his black armor which is adorned with a deep purple lining which compliments his black hair and purple eyes. His physique is tall and muscular as he has trained all his life for the conquering and unification of japan. Along his side he wore his deceased fathers prized sword which was passed to him by his late mother, a victim to illness, the swords’ sheath appeared as an extension of the armor he wore, black and purple. Both his armor and his skill with his sword had earned the respect of the tattered Oda army and so brought him back his army, his cold countenance and fierce temper had also earned the nickname “The true Demon prince” as his father was vastly known as the demon king before he was betrayed at the temple in Honnoji some 15 years ago by his retainer Mitsuhide Aketchi.
The second army was led by a man names Tesamune Date. Tesamune is about an average size for a nineteen year old. Tesamunes’ temperament can be described as fiercely self preserving and self serving. His hair is a raven color and his eyes are sky blue. Tesamune originally got far in the army because of his ties to the proud Date clan, but soon proved his worth to the general Hideyoshi Toyotomi and has since then rose to a top position and is now here to rise even more by crushing “The true demon prince”. Tesamune favorite fighting style is the combination of both sword and pistols which he inherited from his brother Masamune Date otherwise known as the “Dragon in Dog skin”.

Both armies now stood facing one another as the calm before the storm was set in. After five minutes of tension passed Teranobu came up with a brilliant plan that would show just how powerful he was, he chose ten of his most powerful men and commanded them to follow him and commanded the rest of his to remain were they are unless he gave the signal to charge and if he and his best ten were to die then he left their fate to their own choosing. Teranobu soon found his ten best men and gave them the signal to charge with him.

Tesamune watched with laughter in his eyes as he watched what he thought was a desperate attempt by Teranobu to impress him he even laughed aloud to show he wasn't afraid. As Tesamune watched though he was forced to quit laughing as the eleven man team tore through his front line in a matter of seconds as lightning arched from the Tachibana that had came Teranobu and gigantic war hammer of a Shimazu pounded through them like nothing. As all this happened though Tesamune thought of a way to defeat them.

Teranobu watched proudly as the Tachibanas’ lightning attack fried three enemies and left them as charred carrion and as the Shimazus’ war hammer smote five enemies in one wide arch as their bodies crumpled in their useless armor. After the first initial shock though the army had recovered and were now fighting back for their lives. Teranobu opted for some fun of his own though and started floating (technique developed by his father) and throwing dark purple spheres of energy that smote upon the enemies and killed in large numbers. Soon though Teranobu noticed that there was something amiss as he could no longer find his comrades that had accompanied him.

Tesamune laughed as he noticed his plan was flowing smoothly, sure he had lost round two-hundred men in the short instance but the payoff was well worth it as his divide and destroy tactic had killed eight of the eleven warriors and he had also been able to would the Shimazu causing him so much trouble. Tesamune didn’t pay enough attention to Teranobu though and that little mistake was about to cost him a very big chunk of his army.

Teranobu noticed he was surrounded and needed to escape as he had heard eight of his people fall and even heard Shimazus’ wounded cry. Teranobu decided it was time to unleash one of last resorts. With a roaring battle cry that made a good number of Tesamunes’ troops cringe and the troops on the Oda side smirk, Teranobu launched into his specialty. Teranobus’ speed increased as he launched right into the circle of opponents in front of him and started slashing through them with blinding speed and incredible accuracy that killed any in just a few short seconds. After seeing their master launch into his specialty both Shimazu and Tachibana launched into theirs. Shimazu took his hammer and started spinning like a top, he advanced and many were killed in the cyclone movements of the hammer. Tachibanas’ sword lit up with sparkling power as lightning coursed through her sword, her attack was based the same Teranobus’ but with a little more grace added. Soon after it had started though it stopped with Tesamune losing about half of his army in that short period..

After the display of power shown by Teranobu and his last two people remaining Tesamune had decided enough was enough and rode towards them on his horse. Tesamune decided to take out the wounded one first and headed for the Shimazu, He started his charge upon him but as soon as he reached him, the Shimazu took a gigantic swing and killed Tesamunes horse and knocked Tesamune to the ground. The battle between Tesamune and Shimazu was about to start.

Having killed Tesamunes mount Shimazu was glad to at least have helped Teranobu. Shimazu knew that he was to slow to keep up with Tesamunes pistols and sword, but he would at least try. Advancing on Tesamunes prone figure on the ground Shimazu lifted his hammer and swung down with incredible force. Tesamune rolled to the side but was still shook into the air just by being within two feet away from the hammer, but taking his chance while in the air he twisted so that he could land on his feet. Drawing both pistols Tesamune started shooting at Shimazu who had the presence of mind to block the shots by twisting his hammer to the blunt side facing to act as a shield. Tesamune decided to get in close so he put away his pistols and drew his saber from its sheath and charged toward Shimazu. Shimazu swung his hammer towards Tesamunes head but Tesamune dodged and cut at Shimazus stomach, The blow smote Shimazu enough to slow his movements and cause a serious amount of pain. As Shimazu swung again the pain from his wound made him flinch and Tesamune saw his opportunity and drew one pistol and fired it right at Shimazus head, the shot smote Shimazu easily enough in the skull and splattered his brain across the ground, and as the giants body fell Tachibana was distracted from the opponents in front of her and was soon disposed of with spears to the back from multiple enemies.

Tesamune noticed this and was proud of this accomplishment and started charging for Teranobu. Teranobu had watched all this with fascination to see if the two of his loyal retainers could take care of it, unfortunately they couldn’t so it was up to him to destroy this wretch whom had opposed him.

As Tesamune charged at Teranobu he thought of a way that would surely bring about a victory or at the very least weaken the “demon prince”. He ordered the remainder of his men to charge in knowing full well that Teranobu couldn’t unleash his attack again this soon. As he ordered Tesamune figured why charge when I can have my army do the job and therefore stopped to watch his men do their job.

Teranobu watched in fascination as Tesamune called his men to attack him and yet his only reply was “Ah he knows that I will not be able to unleash my attack, how unfortunate for him”. With an evil laugh that could send chills down the back of any ordinary man Teranobu waited for the approaching army.

Most of Tesamunes men thought to themselves “the demon prince has finally gone crazy” as they sat and watched him laugh in the midst of their attack. Tesamune fearing they would begin to scare though ordered them to continue and even told them that they had nothing to fear as Teranobu couldn’t pull the same trick twice in one day. With the encouragement from their commander and the snug thought of being superior driving them the men advanced with an even more reckless determination. As they closed in on Teranobu they noticed something odd about his stance, it appeared that he was commanding them to halt and this enraged them. As the now enraged Army of Tesamune charged they began to notice again the purple feathers and now wondered what would happen to their already shortened numbers and now fear settled in their hearts as they knew they were beyond the point of no return.

Teranobus halting command hadn’t exactly been for them to stop but for them them to fear, and as he looked into their wild eyes he could see the fear and turmoil raging within them. “it is time to end this Tesamune” shouted Teranobu “I will now destroy your army but you may live if it so pleases you” and with this he flicked his wrist and an explosion of immense proportions wiped out the remainder of Tesamunes army.

Tesamune watched as his army was defeated and had heard Teranobus offer. As he was now the only one left he decided to take the offer but decided a few last words were worth the effort, “it seems you have bested me here but I shall warn you my lord Hideyoshi will not let this go by unnoticed, he will seek you out and destroy you” Teranobu replied with a mocking laugh “please don’t waste your time telling the monkey about me, for the Tokugawa era shall soon be ruled by Teranobu Oda and under my might we shall finally have peace” and with these parting words the battle at Sekigahara ended with the retreat of Tesamune.

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