Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Warning: Nipples Ahead
I get a lot of my "ideas" for opinionated posts from reading other stuff on the webbernets, but this one is actually a bit more current. Today's topic is breast-feeding: is it indecent or what?

It is not indecent. I'm not even gonna add "in my opinion" or whatever, because this is just so bleedingly obvious that only those who were dropped frequently as children have the right to think otherwise. Face it, folks. Boobs were made for feeding babies. That is why they exist. They are not just hood ornaments; they've got a predefined function and anything else they may be good for is a happy coincidence (quite happy, as I may say, being an appreciator of breasts). Not only that, but breast-feeding is a preferable choice for many mothers for several reasons: first, it's cheaper than buying formula; second, it stimulates the maternal bond; third, it keeps crazy ladies from harassing them for NOT breast-feeding, since a lot of women think it's infinitely healthier for the baby and a moral right and whatnot. Whatever.

So breast-feeding is a good thing. Did I mention yet that it keeps the kid quiet for a while? If you're offended by a breast-feeding mother minding her own business, imagine what it would be like if the child were hungry and screaming hysterically. In the end, the important thing is the manner in which one breast-feeds. When doing something like breast-feeding or using the toilet without a toilet, politeness is really the priority. Just like you should find a suitable tree or whatnot to wizz behind, it is generally considered adequate to place a towel over the shoulder to cover any particular bits that may be exposed. You shouldn't have to go hide in the bathroom or anything; who wants ot eat in a public bathroom anyway? Eurgh, I feel gross walking past them.

What matters in the end is decency. Why should a mother bother being "decent" when she's doing such a natural thing? Well, some people just don't want to see it, for one thing. There are plenty of people out there who are extremely uncomfortable with the human body as a rule, and would prefer not to have a phobic reaction to your breasts. Then there are people who want to look at your breasts but can't, because they would be punished for their perviness (as well they should; staring is rude). It helps all the guys, lesbians, and other lovers of boobery to be polite to you if you cover up.

This brings me to my Public Service Announcement of the Day: If you don't want your body stared at, keep it where we can't see it. Clothes (real ones, not just dish towels you tied around yourself or stuck on with scotch tape), walls, etc. work fine. So that I don't make you uncomfortable, stop making me uncomfortable. Seriously. Put that back.
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