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myOtaku.com: shiroikarasu


Wednesday, September 22, 2004


I want to cry. I don't know why. But I know I won't. I feel like I've taken on the world and let loose everything. Nothing matters, and everything matters, and I'm confused but it all makes perfect sense. I know why I like the Internet. Somehow, when I log on and do my thing, looking around and posting here and there and reading, it's all the same kind of out-of-body experience I mentioned before. Now I'm even more separated, with new headphones. So all of a sudden nothing really exists and I'm just looking down at a little freshman in the anime club who likes potatoes and alternative rock, and I'm pressing all the buttons. I am not there, but I have perfect control over my body's every action and my mind's every thought. And despite all this, I still don't know who or what I am. My instincts tell me to fit in, my mind tells me to stand out, but my heart hasn't had anything to say in the matter. I just have to listen to it, and maybe it will tell me.
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