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• 1990-06-13
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• Female
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• MD, USA
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• 2003-08-03
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• DES's hikari
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• Tory (Dori, Tostito)

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• A lot, not that they matter. Anime Club President/Fuhrer till the end of this year.
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• (age 4) Tonari No Totoro
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• Gravitation, Weiss Kreuz, Hagaren (FMA), Kino No Tabi, .hack, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
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• To go on an insane shopping spree in Tokyo sometime soon. Gosurori...
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• Drooling. Over many things.
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• I make a mean ramen, mm!




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myOtaku.com: shiroikarasu


Monday, September 27, 2004

   I'm not happy wondering
I need some temporary seclusion, so that when I come back I will once again be able to appreciate the human race. Right now I just don't understand it, and it makes my head hurt trying to think about it. That's why I like the Sims. People, but not people.

I've got a bunch of mysterious scratches on me, on my hands and legs. It could be the yard work I did yesterday, but I wore long, thick jeans and latex gloves that I would have noticed a rip in. So I'm just puzzled.

And life is too complicated. I feel so simple, like an amoeba, while eveything around me rushes around at the speed of light with the precise intelligence and complexity of a military supercomputer. I don't really comprehend just how crazy everything is, but I know I'm missing something. I keep banging on the glass, but no one looks up. And yet my mind gets odder and odder and my body less easy to control every day. I do crazy, weird things and barely remember them, much less deciding to do them. Like I'm constantly going into drunk stupors and coming out of them clueless. And while I try to explain things in my own terms, I wonder if anyone else even understands these tetms, even sees them. They might not. I could be all alone, shut off from everyone, and trapped in an illusion. Like the Matrix. Only less cheesy. Everything is so foggy it's like a mixed-up, prolonged dream, set up in a neverending loop full of dejavu and blank-mindedness.

Now I'm confusing myself. What is left to understand anymore?
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