Monday, May 1, 2006

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tonight and tomorrow are going to be so much fun its ridiculous

[/sarcasm]

its been 8 years...why does it still hurt so much?
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

him: i will never yell at you or tell you you're stupid
him: kashi, this is what im supposed to do. i love you and im willing to listen to you, talk to you, hold you, kiss you and be the best person i can for you
him: im honored to do it
him: for you
him: you mean everything to me


....

what did i do to deserve him?

I am so fucking grateful for him...i cant express how much he means to me

I love him more than anything.

The problem is...Im so worried that he will look down on me for what happened...or worse, think that I over reacted and not want anything to do with me because of it. I know he wont do that...in my head anyway...but i dont know what will happen if I loose him now. I dont think I would survive that. At all.
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

   This being sick thing needs to stop
I dont think my mother understands the concept of me being sick all semester...Ive thrown up almost every morning since mid january. She thinks i just skip class cuz i dont want to go...the truth is i usually feel like crap, so sitting in a boring class for 2 hours is not something i want to do.

Whatever. Ill explain it to her when i go home this weekend. Hopefully my good mood wont be ruined by it.

i love him

JESSICA (Dir en grey)
A young boy spits on the Berlin Wall,
even if he breaks it down [nothing can change]

When I remembered [I shut myself off tightly].

Singing is the [only thing] that keeps me going... how weak I am.

I donn't wanna be Edward H. Gein
Sid Vicious and Nancy
Where can I meet them?

There's no voice in my heart,
[Even in my heart the song is gone]
I wait quietly for you.
I can't reach you, I [can't] reach you
I can't find your voice.

I don't wanna be Edward H. Gein
Sid Vicious and Nancy
Where can I meet them?

When you gently offer your hand to me, I can't just accept it.

[There's no voice in my heart]
Even in my heart the song is gone
I wait quietly for you.
Madly in love,
Dreaming,
Loving
Loving for the sake of loving
Dreams end. Sid's dream.

XD i love how Kyo himself calls this song ridiculous. Gatta love a man who never takes himself too seriously.



>.> im not obsessed.
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

....I think i just coughed up blood.
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Thursday, March 23, 2006

   Dir en grey NYC show=fucking amazing.

songs they played:
0. G.D.S. (this is the one with the really heavy beat and the chanting of "kill" that they play at the beginning of every concert)
1. Clever Sleazoid
2. saku
3. Garbage
4. Jesus Christ RnR
5. Machiavellism
6. Merciless cult
9. Itoshisa ha fuhai ni tsuki
8. kodoku ni shisu, yue ni Kodoku
9. dead tree
10. the final
11. beautiful dirt
12. Higeki ha mabuta wo oroshita yasashiki utsu
13. kodou
14. the IIID empire
15. Spilled Milk
Encore
1. Mr. Newsman
2. NEW SONG (ZOMG!)
3. C
4. Child Prey

^^

I am so getting a tattoo.
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Wednesday, March 1, 2006

   I need sleeeeeeeeeeeep
I swear...if this doesnt work i am going to go down and kidnap her. her mother needs to fucking relax.

I understand her getting mad about how much we talk...but about that letter....gah.

Please, hide, let this work out.
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Friday, February 17, 2006

dir en grey. nyc. march 21st



*faints*
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Monday, February 6, 2006

   I get too attached to people...and now he is gone and I dont know if i will talk to them again. And it hurts.

Out of all of them...he was one of the most important to me...and I want him to be here. I want to be able to call him up on the phone and know that I can talk with him about anything. Fuck.


hide, we miss you
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

*coughs up a lung* I'm going to kill Christina. I told her not to het me sick ;-;
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