Wednesday, August 24, 2005

   Work...At Last!
Well it's official. I finally found myself a job today. Nothing all that special but it's work and it's money so I don't really care. I'm just hoping that this one goes a lot better than the last. And I'm hoping that they will train me a lot better than the last place did. Wish me luck.
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

   Another one bites the dust!
Well, it's official. I'm going out of my mind. I spoke to Jeff today and needless to say it didn't go so well. And I'm NOT (in the least bit) happy. He started up some trouble in the league again the other day and pissed a bunch of people off, and he left again. Everyone, but me, was happy to see that happen. Well, he brought it up to me yesterday and I sorta spoke to the other individual involved, but that didn't help any. It just got me even more frustrated and aggravated with the situation. I got two completely different stories from both of them. So I don't know who to believe. And I told Jeff that but he didn't like it too much. He swore up and down that he wasn't lying to me. But I have reason to believe otherwise. He said he saved the conversation that was between him and this other person (in message archive) but it was completely different then what the other person gave me when I asked and she, too, had it saved in message archive. So I don't know what to do or to think right now. I have reason to believe that he was deleting and/or adding things in when he used message archive to show what was supposedly said. In any case, I got really mad at that other person, whom is in the league as well, and I decided I've had enough of the drama and I withdrew from the league. I, then, sent messages to everyone asking them if I should keep them on my messenger list or remove them since I left, but so far I have had all the people that actually have responded tell me to keep them on my list. I, too, told the other person in the league that was involved that I had withdrew and she wasn't too happy about that. But that's okay. So when I told Jeff about how I spoke to her about it and everything, he told me that if I didn't believe him it was over and that I should send the ring back to him. At that point, my mouth just dropped. I couldn't believe what I had just read. Could it be real? Could it be true? He meant every word of it. So if I wanted to keep it together, I had to believe him. Granted, to this very second, I'm still not sure that I do believe him. And, one more thing, according to a few people in the league, he's supposedly been flirting with other women that are in there. So when I heard that, I wasn't happy... Of course... But, naturally, he denied it. Go figure! I SO knew that was coming. But one thing's for sure on that... I don't believe for a single second that he WASN'T flirting with other women. He's done it before. Granted, at that time, we were sorta separated. So I guess that was okay. But now we're engaged so, it's a totally different story. I'm so confused. Don't know what to think. Don't know who to believe. AHH! I'm going out of my mind. Need to stop and get my mind off of all of this.
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Monday, August 22, 2005

   Stupid Boys!
Wow, I've come up with the conclusion that I write way too much about boys. But what can I say, sadly practically my whole life revolves around them. But, especially one in particular. Though, he's pissed me off pretty badly. Found out some things I don't like about him and now it's making me second guess my entire relationship with him. Why did I ever get so stupid as to let go of James for him? By the way, James and I haven't spoken now in 2 weeks. And, sadly, after telling him that my feelings for him have changed, I miss him dearly. But, oh well. I Thought that I was going to be happy with the person that I'm with now. I mean, why shouldn't I Think that I would be? I'm engaged to the man. But, I guess it's not all it's cracked up to be. In any case, I found out that he's (once again) causing trouble with people in the league and he even got into a fight with one of my best friends in the league. So I wasn't happy about that. Then, he lied to me, saying that she supposedly was saying some stuff about me as well. But I found out the hard way that it's not true. So I'm not happy about that. I mean, he lied to me TOTALLY. And he reworded everything on messenger before he sent it to me after using message archive to bring it back up again. I figured this out because him and my friend had 2 completely different stories. And as much as I love him and all, I honestly believe her over him right now. And there's no doubt in my mind that he's lying through his teeth about this entire thing. Why would he lie to me after being with me for almost 3 and a half months and telling me a million times he loves me more than anything in the world? Why would he lie to me after proposing to me and giving me a ring just a couple of weeks ago? I haven't got a clue. But he has. And now I get to figure out what the heck I'm going to do about it all. How fun. NOT! Grr. Stupid boys. Why can't they just grow up for once? Oh wait, that'll never happen. But I'm telling him first thing the next time I speak to him, to get his stories straight and tell me the truth once and for all or else the engagement is over with! FOR GOOD! But I doubt that'll work. I mean, come on, he's a male. Anyway enough of my ranting and raving about all of this. I'm just getting even more pissed just talking about it. Have fun reading this one. LOL!
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