Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I'm going crazy!
I just received an e-mail from Noah, and I know this might sound harsh but I'm wishing that I hadn't. He's moving on with his life (officially) and it hurts. I can't stand to know it. And he and I tell eachother practically everything about what's going on in our love life. Maybe that's because there's a past between him and I. I don't know. But he DID reassure me that we would always be friends and that he wouldn't shut me out or forget about me. So I suppose I feel a little better. But I wanna go crazy! Oh, that's right, I already have... AAHH! Someone help!

This is just about the point where I really think that I need the day off tomorrow (meaning away from all the stress of boys and so on and so forth) to go shopping with mommy. It'll help, I think. I'm really excited. I can not wait. I'm going to be getting some spring clothes and stuff like that. So that oughtta be cool. Wow! I just realized that my wardrobe is slowly, yet surely, growing. Most of what I have now is just stuff that I've gotten since she's started taking me shopping and stuff. Everything else that I had from before, besides a few sweat shirts, have all been donated and stuff like that.

Well, back to the story of my life filled with drama, drama, and yet more drama...

Yesterday, I spoke to Billie Jo on the telephone and she read me an email that she had gotten from Matthew back when they were having problems. And I SOMEHOW although I don't know how, had managed to get my name stuck into that one. And the funny thing is that I didn't do anything to him. But, I'm seriously thinking about confronting him about it and everything to see what he has to say because he wrote it back when we had supposedly had things cleared up and we were supposedly already getting along and stuff. So I dunno. I'm thinking of telling her to e-mail that to me and I'll print it out, hi-light the part about me and then stick it in his face and ask him what it's all about. You know, after all this time, and after having my father talk to him and he came and talked to me, I thought that things were good again. But apparently I was wrong. I guess they're not good between us. I guess I'm just right back to where it all began. So much for wishful thinking. I don't believe it though. How could I be so stupid as to believe everything that he had said to me when he told me that everything was cool between us and when he said we'd get along and there were no more problems between us? WHAT WAS I THINKING!?!?!
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