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• Joslyn Perez

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myOtaku.com: shorty2486


Thursday, March 31, 2005

   AAHH! Help!!!
This week has been hell for me so far... James and I aren't getting along very well and are on the verge of another break-up. I don't know if I can handle another break-up though. But this relationship is beginning to be too much. On one hand, it's too much and I wanna just give up... But on the other hand, I don't wanna give up. I guess it's just the fear of being alone or not having anyone here to love me or for me to love back. It hurts, and that's all that I know. I don't know what to do..

Today James' mom took me shopping and he came with us. That was really fun... NOT! At first we didn't even talk to eachother at all. (Meaning James and I.) We couldn't even stand to look at eachother. The entire time that we were in the car, on the way to the gas station and to our first store that we went to, James and I never spoke 1 word to eachother. Then things lightened up a bit after that. We actually got to the point where we could stand looking at eachother at least, though we didn't speak much to eachother even then. Then once we hit our next destination, things lightened up between us even more. We actually exchanged some words back and forth. Including the words, "I love you." That was odd though. At first I sort of choked on the words, but I got over it I guess. There's just so much tension between us and in our relationship right now that I don't know what to expect next. I don't know whether we're going to make it or not or if it's going to all come to a sudden crashing halt. It's depressing really. Things have never been this difficult between us where we couldn't even stand to look at eachother. I don't know what to do or say anymore. And I don't know what to think... AHHH!

Well that's all for now... More later... MAYBE!
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