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Wednesday, May 4, 2005


   Could it possibly be the end?
It's official. I'm seriously thinking about totally giving up. I can't stand going through all of the drama constantly. It's just too much on us... It's too much on our relationship... Today is our 9 month anniversary and so far it's been the most depressing. I doubt I'm even going to call him to talk to him. That's mean, I know. But I know that it'll just lead to more fighting and more fighting usually means more drama! I hate drama! I'd hate to end it like this, knowing that it's our 9 month anniversary and all. But, I'm beginning to get the impression that it's just not going to work out between us anymore. I hate fighting, I hate drama... Oh, yeah that's right. I already said that. LOL! He called me last night, But I hardly even spoke to him. I just let him keep going on. And in all honesty, most of the time, I wasn't even listening... Most of the time, I had the phone pulled away from my ear where I couldn't hear what he was saying because I was getting so frusterated. You know, this (again) is going to sound really mean and all. But if it weren't for me not wanting to lose the family that I have in his mother and father, I'd end it between us. But I can't bear to think about losing the 2 of them. And if I ended it with James, that's exactly what would happen. And I could not hadle having to deal with that. So I guess I have to keep it together.

Well this is getting rather depressing! So I guess I'll close for now. More later, maybe!

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