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Sunday, August 7, 2005
Write Your Own Ending
So Saturday, July 23rd was my last day at the Disneyland Resort. I'm going to miss everyone terribly, but the realization that I had spent two years in basically the same place frightened me. Of course, I've been at Chaffey College for two years, but unfortunately my education is enforced rather than elective (like Disney has been for so long. I can easily be making the same money doing something much closer to home.)
This departure could be misinterpretred as FUCKING UP MY OWN LIFE, and although it keeps me up late at night I truly believe it's the right decision. One day I'll sit by the fireplace in my modest townhome; a drink in one hand and a handsome male companion in the other, and discuss the end of my Disney days with a smile on my face. It is the first step towards something new: new places, new work, new focus and most likely, new friends.
I really have no problems working in an entry-level position for the rest of my life, but the economy is structured in such a way that it's impossible to do so and live a comfortable life. I'm 20 years old and what do I have to show for it? A tiny number of completed units from my community college, an even more pathetic number in my savings account, and a laptop computer filled with incomplete writings.
"No, but I'm a writer," I say it as if my hobby were an excuse for the lack of direction my life has taken.
They (Spanish Inquisitors in the guise of family and friends) smile politely, and quickly change the subject. For this I'm grateful, because the follow-up questions are even more painful to deal with. For then I would have to try and explain my projects, opening them up to ridicule and criticism.
The problem now is that we're in an information age where everyone writes and everyone is a critic. Why couldn't my interest be in something more cultish, or at least somewhere I had more confidence in my own abilities.
Thanks to Andrea, it appears this Fall I'll be working for Dark Horse Comics in some capacity. It's certainly a step in the right direction towards what I think I want to do with my life, but the length of the commute to and from Los Angeles is going to kill me. This pretty much takes two days out of my weekly schedule, and with two more of those days devoted to classes it's going to be insanely difficult to find a 'real job.'
More and more of my closest friends have what I can only describe as a 'real job,' the company they're working for now could very likely the one they'll work for when they die. Most importantly, they're making enough money to move out on their own. I'm not really jealous of being pegged into a line of work so early in my life, but that level of security and independence is what I despise them for.
And as for me? It appears that for another year, if not longer, I'm stuck at home.
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