Friday, January 5, 2007

CLARIFICATION?...

Ehhhhh...I returned from a night of drunken bitterness, and blearily keyed up my friend Bill's computer. I checked my email, I checked the IRS homepage, I checked my blogs... And I saw all the responses to my last entry... Ehhh. Erm. Whoops. Okay, apparently bitter, sarcastic humor is not very obvious over the net. So I need to elaborate upon my last entry. I have not been sentenced to prison yet. YET. I thank everyone for their heartfelt sentiments, and I would have responded last night...except that I could barely read the monitor, let alone use a keyboard. My entry probably would not have been very coherent. Lemme regale you of the the sad tale of what REALLY happened: I arrived in Green Bay around midnight, both my vehicle and I coasting on fumes. I felt a ghost-like wisp of nostalgia as my car sped over the border of Brown County--a metropolitan atmosphere very different from Fairmont, MN--and I started to sob a little, both thankful that I had returned home, and angry over the circumstances that brought me there. I stayed with my friends Bill and Ryan...although I didn't get much sleep. It was good to finally sleep in a bed again, after all these months, but for some odd reason, my body wouldn't--couldn't--go down. Come morning, I was frazzled and exhausted. Bill and I reported to the courthouse and my father and his wife intercepted us there. The four of us showed up respectably early. We were ushered into a booth-like room with a shatter-proof glass partition and had to sit through several other hearings before my name was finally called. THis was just a prelimary hearing. The commissioner who presided over the proceedings advised me that I was being charged with a felony and could actually face up to TWELVE years in prison, if prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. He advised me to get an attorney. Bill and I reported to the public defender's office to see if I was eligible for a public defender. I was not. I make too much money--me and my whole 9.41/hr--HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My next option was to put in a petition for a court-appointed lawyer--if I qualify. That petition is still in arraignment, I guess. They will notify me if I am eligible for plan B. In the meantime, I have been released on a five thousand dollar signature bond. Bowerydweller/sikaurai: My next court-date is Feb. 21st. Rez: Hey, that's my birthday!!!! Bowerydweller/sikaurai: ... Rez: Oh, sorry. Shitty. Anyway, in the meantime, my scary daddy threatened sperm donor's life. Dipshit went and reported my father to the police, and they confronted him in front of a gaggle of witnesses, along with the DA. My father went on this big, loud rant about he thinks sperm donor molested my daughters, and what a fucking asshole he is for leaving me high and dry for another girl while I was recovering from surgery. The DA gave him his card and told my father that if he had any more issues, he should call him. (I'm not entirely sure about these molestation accusations. My father has been touting these charges for a couple months now, but I never saw any indications of such in my children's behavior.) Anyway, yeah, the whole thing was a mess. When I was brought before the commissioner, my lack of sleep finally hit me at once like a ton of bricks. I choked. I was completely incapable of forming coherent sentences, and the commissioner was not amused. I started to cry. If it hadn't been for Bill, I couldn't even have filled out my petition. It was escorted from the room, branded a complete failure. I got horrifically drunk that night and spiraled into depression. Also, the rumor mill has it that my spiritual equal and ex-fling has also descended into a less-than-desirable lifestyle--complete with a newfound penchant for prostitutes and a crack addiction. That depressed me even more. I tried calling him, several times, but he never answered the phone. I am a failure. Everything I touch turns to shit. PROJECT PITCHFORK: CHAINS I saw your birth I saw you crawling Now I hear your screams And I see you falling Where is the beginning? Where is the end? Decisions were made Now you depend On moods of a child Giving fear into the world Day by day we struggle We work hard for something we don't see For something we don't feel But we go on and on - day by day by day This thing isn't human Although it's made out of them It got a million eyes And it never thinks until the end It isn't a child It's too big to be one It's the ignored inside Giving shape to a monster outside Day by day we struggle We work hard for something we don't see For something we don't feel But we go on and on - day by day by day

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