Sunday, March 12, 2006

Another Saturday. And we're all still alive.
Isn't that a funny thought? I mean, technically, everything could go wrong, I could fail in everything I strive for..and at the end of the day me heart would still be beating. Humm. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. >_<

Anyways, hey guys! Silence here, to give her cynical report on the world, as usual. Only tonight, I think I'll just be me if you don't mind. ^_^ I'm too tired to put on a show and I'm sick of acts.

I think I'm bipolar, to warn you beforehand. XD and I'm sorry, you really don't have to read this, it's more for me to say than for you to read, so it doesn't matter.

But, if you really care. ( a small percent) We can start with school. It's funny, because people will ask me how things are, school, homework, toothpaste, life in general, and I'll answer, and they'll say "Oh, I know, sorry." No! Don't you dare say that to me! With the exception of probably Red, no you do not know! (and if you really did care, you'd be able to see that school is only putting a face on my problems and that's not really it.) And I really hate acts, I should know. >_< ech.

But I was going to talk about school wasn't I? I have so much somework it's not even really physically possible to do..and for three days next week, and after we get back from break, we have CSAP (CRAP if you ask me) testing, and this year, we start at the normal time, and have classes afterwards. >_< Including homework. And you know, I guess I shouldn't whine, because my school didn't "say" to take all the hard classes..only, they did, just not with their words. But too late.

So I kinda threw in the towell this week and watched some movies instead. BECAUSE, even should I do nothing, and come to school the next day unprepared..I'd survive.

I report, that Two For The Money, is really..hard to deal with, but really good. Just Like Heaven is sweet and touching and almost made me believe in happy endings..and I watched Elizabethtown, hah, that was great! mmmm..watch them.

And! I went for a walk today, a nice long one. Only I forgot how hard it was snowing outside and my face kinda froze off. XD But you know, it's like, you have to do things like that to yourself almost so you can remember that you're alive. What is it if you can't feel anything? And sometimes good things just don't go deep enough to feel.

Ah, and to drive the point home, I really love my dog! My parents told me that he got in a fight with this dopey golden up the street and beat the crap out of him, and this little yappy (crappy) dog barked up the wrong tree and blizzy tried to eat him. *sighs* so I forgot to feed him this morning!

Just kidding..But..he had the little dog pinned down in like 2 seconds, little neck in his jaws, twisted to the ground. >_< He let go, of course. no harm done..only showing the hot air balloon who's boss. My dog..lol..he looks like a wolf, he acts like a wolf. Please don't mess with him if you're a little critter. But he'd never hurt me, or really anyone else, but for dogs pick fights, and he fights back. ^_^; ah well.

Enough on my phsycotic dog, who else is disturbed yet? Well, consider it a reward for actually reading this. ^_^ It's the only chance I get to say how I feel. You know, one time, a girl asked me how things were going, and I said, "alright, my mom just had brain surgery but she's getting better." and she just smiled stupidly and said "cool!" She hadn't even heard me, hadn't even bothered to listen to what I was saying.

I do believe there is a fine art to having a conversation with someone, without really paying attention to anything they say, and yet still managing to appear drawn in, and like you totally are interested in their life. But that's just it! YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU CARE!! If you're going to talk to me just to be polite, you better fool me.

Arg. People. It's sickening..I mean, even those who say they are good (and may be) will be like, oh, I am going to reach out a hand to those in need..ah lookit me reaching out, and something else will catch their attention, and they'll breeze away, the said person just left there.
If you're gonna start something, you better finish it.

After all, what's charity if it's not convenient to the charitable?

But..humm..I guess the interesting thing is, that unlike all the disney movies, there is no black and white, no good and evil. People are all just that, people. With human intentions and human desires and human flaws..it's all grey. no matter how hard you try.

Who thinks I should stop being philosophical and do my biology? Ah, don't worry, I will. I've been compelled to do all my homework and be a perfectionist too long to stop doing it now. It's like it's encoded in my brain. pathetic. look at what a slave I am.

But at least we'll be on break soon. But it's not reeaalllyyy a beak, jusr more time to do homework, right?

Okay, for some good news, our family spends a few weeks in the carribean every summer (othewise we'd all shoot ourselves) and we booked our trip this week. ^__^ I'm, VERY drawn to the beach, and the ocean in general. You know why? It's because it's the only place in the world where it's possible to leave this one. If you're like me..There's something about being able to dive down where no one else can reach you, and for a minute or two, you've successfully left your world and entered a different one. It's amazing. and there's nothing like it.

Oh, but then there's jellyfish. It's not like in spongebob where getting stung is like getting stung by a bee..oh no. >_< Lucky spongebob. Well, there's different kinds, some will kill you, some won't. XD But it was like getting a bucket of fire poured on me. And it sucked. But I still love the little suckers! lol. Still like to pet them..

And enough of that, I'm already beach sick. This really is getting long..well, if you read it and cared, thanks. And maybe you learned something about me worth knowing. I hope so, at least. ^_^

You all have a fantastic week! And if you're on break, enjoy it! Get out for some fresh air, sun! (even if it's snowing)
You're still alive so smile. *I'm a hypocrite*

See ya!
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