Tuesday, March 27, 2007

everything turned grey

look all around
its so colorful outside
and everyone seems so content and happy
then there's this girl
face full of sadness and depression
and all around her is grey
color doesn't seem to exist in her world
yet her outter appearance says different
shes smiling and laughing
making everything appear to be fine
no one noticing the trick she's playing
and if they actually looked around
they'd see that grey world
she touches a flower and hugs a teddy bear
and it all turns grey
she shuts everyone out
and bottles things up
and screams inside for help
now look at her outer appearance again...
and look all around
still no one seems to realize...
that everything she touches...
turns to grey

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Monday, March 26, 2007

i will never understand a friendship as weird as theirs
if sakura tears reads this: i think we should figure out this 'mystery' cuz it makes no sense and don't you eventually get tired of it?

anyways. so my friend and my exfriend were fighting like always. and my friend tells me that this is it that shes not going to be friends with my exfriend anymore. did i believe her? of course not. why? cuz this always happens.
so apparently they lasted 9days without being friends. and they 'magically' became friends again?
i dont get it. supposly my friend gets treated different and badly by my exfriend. and she tells me she doesnt want to be friends with her anymore cuz she's getting on her nerves. so like always i told her just to stop being friends with her and stuff.
just last night she tells me their friends again? i dont get it? uhm?im missing something? apparently they have an inability to drop each other as friends for whatever reason. but doesnt anyone think thats a little strange? now my friend says that whenever their next fight is its going to be the last one? do i believe her?nope, not at all.
but the point is...that if they constantly are on again and off again friends...what kind of friendship do they have? whats the point of it? the way i see it its just so that if they have no one to hang out with then hey they found someone? idk..i'd say more but i don't feel like being a complete asshole...anyways this was pointless but whatever anyways back to procrastinating.doing my hwk, and multi-tasking. *waves* 'till next time. have a good day.....^^
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Saturday, March 24, 2007

poems poems poems
hello. heres some poems...just decided i'd post so you know that im not dead or anything....and cuz i was bored....

so whats the point again?
can someone please clear this up for me?
im not confused...
i just don't get it...
give me a reason
give me a purpose
give me something to understand the point

all this talk...
its starting to get to me
funny how no one notices
but thats okay cuz i don't want them too
and if someone finds out...
then theres the real problem....
why?
simple, if your the one who figures it out...
then you'll know what im talking about

and the only reason i'll apply
is to make a point
not because i want to
because i honestly don't
its all to prove a point
how sad and pathetic is that?

i can already see it
everyone going and coming
and no one staying
and everyone leaving
and not one stuck like me

trying to conceal...
this newborn secret of mine
it seems harder then the rest
why you ask...
well i just don't know
maybe because i want help
but im to stubborn to ask
because like always i want to... figure it out on my own...
...its honestly not working as well as i hoped it would....
but thats alright in due time it'll pass
and this newborn secret will cease to exist..
...or at least thats what i hope

they arent ment to leave impressions on you

k poems are done *waves* 'till next time, have a good day
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Thursday, March 15, 2007

poems poems poems
hi! *waves* here are some poems i picked at random to post...yaaay? lol

they say never run,
before you can walk
does that also apply
to picking your self up,
before you can stand?

and if everyone stopped pretending
i wonder what kind of world we'd live in

cuz being happy is complex
which is most likely the reason
for most of this pretend happiness

the lives of the forgotten
aren't ment to be remembered

the sound of the music is playing
and your sitting in an akward silence
no one dares speak
and the silence is killing you
who will be the first to break it?

kk all done. tell me what you think of em. byebye *waves* ^-^ oh yeah and have a great day ^^

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

just a post?
hey everyone and anyone whos reading this. well lets see for the past few days,weeks more like it i've been getting little and no sleep yet i still manage to somehow function and find the time to do everything i need to do.anyways so apparently i have good writing skills? sometimes i let people read only certain poems and they all seem to like them...i don't know why though but they just do. and just before i even typed this up or even considered typing a post i was working on my english homework.

we had to write a journal based on any major character in the boring book we're reading. considering that i only read the 1st pg, and chs 2,4,and 13 this would be hard. luckily i choose an easy character and something simple yet complicated to write about. anyways so i sent my friend what i worked on and she said it was good. uhmm apparently im missing something here?

1. my writing for the most part i think is blah.
2. i only like very few of the things i do write.
3. ....i find it somewhat hard to grasp this concept of me being able to write good....

well anyways i need to go now since 1. my brother needs to read and revise my journal. 2. im wasting my time on something no one will read but whatever. and finally and most importantly 3. i think i might actually get some sleep tonight, instead of the regular what?like maybe 4 to 5 hours of sleep i get. idk it varies all the time... anyways to any and all who read this have a great day ^^ 'till next time *waves*
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Monday, March 12, 2007

just some random poems

and i promise
and i swear
that i'll always be here
and if you don't know that
and if you choose not to care
then thats fine
i've been there
still am
and i'll be fine with it
really i will...

i wish i was a singer
i wish i knew how to play the guitar
and write songs
cuz then, just maybe then
i'll be able to get everything out
sure poems help but
its not like i show them to anyone
only to myself and maybe some people
if i really want them reading what i wrote
but if i were able to sing
then maybe only then can people ever really know

these songs in my head
need to get on paper
the thing is
that i never know
how to express myself
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Sunday, March 11, 2007

i cant do this anymore

and i cant do this anymore
all the same bullshit
it gets tiring
it gets annoying
but i have to remember
i cant lose
i cant give up
its all up to me
and im not about to
go down without a fight
or without even trying

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Friday, March 9, 2007

cuz life can never be simple
hey, bet no ones missed me haha. right anyways i forgot what i was going to type...uhmm right so lifes..its...so...unexplainable right now. i don't know i have no time for anything anymore but school work. im not even joking im always falling asleep doing homework i get no sleep, always stressed about something. i just can't wait till schools over, or just one day without any homework so i can finally get sleep. but yeah anyways as usual i don't know if im doing anything this weekend. it'll be good if i don't do anything that way i can actually try to get sleep[not gunna happen] or something.

anyways last weekend, from friday to saturday i was sick and had no heat and no warm water in my house either. so yeah it was a killer weekend. sunday though we finally got our heat and warm water back. yeahh okay anyways time to stop tying since no one really cares.[don't mind me and my mood right now] so yeah whatever to all those who actually care[probably no one] have a great day ^^
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Thursday, March 1, 2007

x_x
....well my theory was correct...hahaha sorry i love sounding smart, it makes me feel better[don't ask]. anyways yeah so about what i was saying...everyone in my house really does like my brother more than they like me =X oh well whatever better for me i guess, except for the fact that i get introuble every single day of my life for basically nothing...and...yeah whatever. x_x
anyways back to my mounds of hwk. have a great day ^^
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Monday, February 26, 2007

delayed opening.
hey ^^ well my weekend was awesome on sunday, i went to my bestfriends house, we played DDR[which i suck at], ate[lol], and took pics. uhm today i had a delayed opening since it snowed here last night. yeah so since i don't know what else to type i'll now post some stuff i've written....anyways have a great day =)

maybe this is all leading up to something thats supposed to happen

because nothings ever as it seems

and if you asked me
what was wrong with me
and told me to answer you honestly
my lie would be nothing
the truth would be that i don't know

and i tend to hold memories on for too long
and i can't seem to forget things
that i don't want to remember
is that why im so messed up?

i feel as if i can never be myself
but what does it matter?
its not like i even know who i am anymore

i swear im messed up
and i swear i can make you think nothings wrong
and i swear that i don't want to be like this

whats the point in living when your going to die anyways?

and what if we actually did stay friends forever?
would that be a miracle?


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