Sunday, January 28, 2007

questions questions and more questions...yaay just what i need...not!
hey =) how are you guys? well as you know this site is mainly for my poems and just i guess some of my thoughts and whatnot. yeah so anyways yesterday...i found myself questioning things...as usual. but i don't know it kinda put me down a little bit i guess. and that really sucks since i've actually been having a good week except for the fact that im probably failing math. and if i do then w/e i'll just do better next time.

so what was todays question[s]?simple..as usual there about life. one was on...well i asked myself who do i go to for anything? and i realized...i go to no one but myself usually unless i get to the point where im about to breakdown and i feel like i need to talk to anyone. and thats a very bad habit for me because when that happens i usually go to one person im talking to at the moment....don't ask how its a bad habit it just is...trust me it can lead to a lot of shit i dont need. want an example?

my example:okay lets see i was fighting with someone about some shit i did in the past. i felt bad or w/e so who did i go to? simple someone i was talking to on aim.at the moment i was talking to 3 ppl.1 being the person i was fighting with. 2 being my best friend.3 being my friend.so who'd i go to?...i went to talk to person number 3. and person number 2 found out..what'd that lead to?simple shit i didnt need.

but i guess it was kind of worth it in the end. how'd the ending to this go?..person 1 ended up not being my friend. person 2 ending not being my friend thanks to the help of some people. and person 3 ended up being my new best friend[yeah thats the good part...wanna hear the rest?..]

the rest: i didn't say shit to anyone bout it. and it turns out all my other friends found out which lead to more crap. which lead to confusing crap. and who'd they find out from?simple person number 1. i said somethings to her i shouldn't have and she told people. which lead some..im not sure how many...people into believing i want people to pity me. which yes lead to me being pissed cuz 1 i hate it when people pity me it annoys me. 2 person 1 shouldnt have said anything to anyone. 3 i didnt even say anything to my other friends about it person 1 did..and why? probably to get my other friends to not like me? but honestly if she hated me so much..then why talk about me...why not just friggen forget i ever existed and go on with your damn life. w/e she supposly helped person 2 end up not being my friend. and yes i had a fight with person number 2 also. and guess what? while she was telling me off i kept my mouth shut. your probably like what? or why?

the answer: why tell her off? sure i could have. but what would that do? lead to more fighting and stuff. no. i'd rather for her to find things out on her own. and now i honestly don't care about person 1 or 2 because well i don't even who they are anymore.

leason i learned: try not acting on impulse.even though our fight was pretty retarted but w/e. and trusting certain girls will get you crap you don't need. it also helped me not trust basically anyone...kinda.but w/e.

yes i do realize this looks like one persons fault. but since i actually didnt tell you everything that happened then you do realize that its not just one persons fault.it was mine too.

yes i realized this was kinda a pointless post. seeing as this example happened like forever ago. and the only reason its so long is cuz i gave you an example. one that b4 i would have cared about who to tell.but now i really don't care who knows because people have been told about this before so w/e.and if you actually read all of this without skimming it then your my new hero and im sorry for wasting your time. anyways have a great day ^-^
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