Birthday • 1990-08-19 Gender •
Female Location • Member Since • 2007-01-13 Occupation • Real Name •
Personal
Achievements • written two books, one of which is hopefully being published early next year ~ finished studying NVQ Level 3 Beauty Therapy ~ Run 3 Businesses Anime Fan Since • November 05 Favorite Anime • ~ PHD (phantasy Degree) ~ Bleach ~ .hack//SIGN ~ .hack//Legend of the Twilight Bracelet ~ Love Hina ~ Final FantasyVampire Knight Death Note
Goals • businesses =) Hobbies • travelling learning languages writing art and walking Talents • walking.... writting, fashion, art
myOtaku.com: silver star rose
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
all of my hate cannot be found, i will not be bound
mood-anoyed with imeem song-thoughtless-evanescence
riiiiiiiiiight, if imeem EVER works, i will put thoughtless up as it is a vair vair beautiful song! lmao....yeah, originaly i just had the imeem acount and put music up...thought i'd jazz it up since i had nothnig better to do. DEAR LORD I WISH I NEVER BOHTERED!! it's taken me ALL morning to work the damned sight out...and then on top of that i've been atempting to work the veoh player so i can downlaod bleach and watch it. pah! like that work!! had to resart my computer 3 times for the sake of it. and it still dons't work. *grumps*
ok..imeem really IS taking it's time...grrr...
so...um...yesturday...was ok i guess..i mean how ok can a day be when it is absolutley raining like there's no tomorow? like it has been for he last month i swear...it dosn't bother me too much though..cause i love the rain..there's just not a lot you can do!!
haha, well..met up with tom..the other half lol and i ended up getting sokaing wet in the tube (a green tube donw on the kids park) and i was in it because i dind't want to get tickled...lmao and it was rather wet inside -.- anyhoo, it started raining on us after lunch so we moved to the skatepark and sat under the ramp lmao and i can say that the long standing injoke of me being a vampire is now confirmed ^^ rofl
urh...ooooooooooooh, my brother was being sociable ith me last night and gave me half (he's a stingy like that) a shot of vodka sour apple...hmm...wasn't really listenig to what is in it, cuase normaly, i'm not fussed with vodka. but GEES THAT STUFF WAS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! lmao i might get some more later..if i'm lucky tehe
moving on....i am COLD!! lmao and i have no idea what numbers came up on the thunderball...grr and google's being a spazzy and not hepling!! oh i havn'tone anything...didn't get any numbers up!! haha oh well..next week then lmso
oh...one song uploaded and half left to go on the other and i cna give you all music!!
and i really am tryna think up what tp write lmao...without laughing too much!! haha...um...
fooooood!! lol, i'm finaly getting my apetite back!! i'm back on three meals a day (which han't happened since first school) so it's all good!! i think i'm finaly on amedication that works..more to the point, i havn't NEEDED it today yet!! wooo!! hope it stays like it!!!
oh and i have noticed it is july. thnakgod. so sick and tierd of saying `it's still june` never know 30 days take so long to pass!!! haha..so it is now...45 days till i find out what the hell IS wrong with me.
urgh imeem going slow still...i cannae think of anythin gto say soooooo i shall...leave this post stanind until it finishes..and...i am dsad and going to time it form now....14:03
ok it must just be my impatianess..it's all uploaded in the time it took me to do he post..lord knows WHEN i started..but that and then an extra seven minutes!! lmao
haha, well ja ne!! xx
modit
ok...duno what's happend, but i feel really down right now..i dunno...tlaking to one of my mates on msn and i just feel so...degraded now. all i was ever good at was strenght and stff..and he's done nothing but insult it recently..and i jsut fell...shit now
can't wash it all away, can't hope it all away, can't scream it all away, it just won't fade away
mood-vair vair tierd song-from yesturday-30 seconds to mars
lol...um..yes...yesturday's post..well...that's the quickest, AND SHORTEST i've done in a LOOOOOOOOONG time i think lmao!!
haha, yes, as emmah pointed out...i need to say someitnhg!! I HJAVE A BOYFREIND NOW!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!
haha it was kinda random..cuas ei dind't know he fancied me fo ages...then i go ocnfused when he was asking me out *laughs at self* but its all god now ^^ god?? wait..i mena GOOD there...lmao my spelling is insnaley bad now!! haha
and better news still, me emmah and laura (Betteh) are tlaking again! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
so i'm finaly getting a good time of this year...haha...health's still not perfect, but i'm on three meals a day and not wanting to throw up 24/7..so it's all good right??
and yes, i have unlimeted internet use noe so i shall be comnig to ALL YOUR SIGHTS AGAIN!!! WOOOOOOOO
ooh...just downlaoded umbrella remix..it's...wierd lmao haha and i like it cause i'm wierd..though dancing to it COULD BE A PROBLEM
for those wanting to listen to it lol
hmm...what elses hanv't i spoke to?
gah.i'll modify the post or jsu tre-post at a later date or someinthg if i think...hmm...
tehe
ok-1- i apologise for bad spelling
2-i miss beign here
3-jsut wanna say hello to everyone
4- and also let everyone know i am perfectly over alex ANd jake now ^^ someting normla has happened which i could talk for ages but won't as i have limited time
last thing-i will be majorl making up to everyone this weekend as my parents beeth in paris!! wooooo
whn everything seems at it's worst, ride the wave and just let it take you where it will
mood-bleh song-bad boy-cascadda
Dark tendrils creep around me,
Blocking the day from every way,
The tears i want to cry,
They cannot fall...
And i dare never let them…
The people I thought I knew...
Those who I trusted with my life,
And darkest secrets,
They sought to broke me,
And now the shreds lie scattered.
I never though of a time I wanted to go back,
And now when I don't want to...
I find myself pulled so gently back,
By hands seeming to taunt me,
Taunt me and rip my already broken heart out.
eh. long time since i did a poem. but there's one straight from the head lol
thanks for all the comments last ngiht, it means everything to me, adn i'm saorry i'm stil not maing it to your sights, i really am trying, but y dad's giving me only an hour...i've technicaly been banned from hte interent twice for running over..but i spoke to my mum about everything, and i think she spoke to dad..so, i'll do what i can in an hour, and hopefully it;s jsut enough time *hugs*
But I've had too many stand-offs with you It's about as much as I can stand Just wait until the upper hand Is mine
mood-annoyed song-hit the floor-linkin park
*changes song*
well well today.
was shit.
i've had enough of all this completle shit. i thought i could trust the people i came to think of as best freinds. but i was wrong. blatantly. so here i am today, and i find myself in the same predicament i was in september. surrounded by two freinds who didn't want me.
they meant everything to me....that was why i ever bothered tryna meet up with them...that was why i bothered walking into town to meet them on the spurr of the moment...but it means nothing to them. nothing at all.
i found out they don't like me purley because they ran from me when i tried to catch up...and when i rang her nan, she said she didn't tell me previously she didn't wanna meet up with me cause i'd get pissy. i wouldn't...i would rather know where my place is than run after nothing...never knowing what was at her end of the road.
what annoys me more is that all year they both hated ellie...becuase of who she was...and yyet, how they made me feel today was worse htna how ellie and izzy ever made me feel..
can i ever trust freinds again now?
There are just too many
Times that people
Have tried to look inside of me
Wondering what I think of you
And I protect you out of courtesy
Too many times that I've
Held on when I needed to push away
Afraid to say what was on my mind
Afraid to say what I need to say
Too many
Things that you've said about me
When I'm not around
You think having the upper hand
Means you've got to keep putting me down
But I've had too many stand-offs with you
It's about as much as I can stand
Just wait until the upper hand
Is mine
So many people like me
Put so much trust in all your lies
So concerned with what you think
To just say what we feel inside
So many people like me
Walk on eggshells all day long
All I know is that all I want
Is to feel like I'm not stepped on
There are so many things you say
That make me feel like you've crossed the line
What goes up will surely fall
And I'm counting down the time
'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you
It's about as much as I can stand
So I'm waiting until the upper hand
Is mine
One minute you're on top
The next you're not
Watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you're on top
The next you're not
Missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you won
And then it's all gone
I know I'll never trust a single thing you say
You knew your lies would divide us
But you lied anyway
And all the lies have got you floating
Up above us all
But what goes up has got to fall
oh and emmah-considering wallby was in MY FUCKING MATHS SET I THINK I KNOW HIM. i jsut couldn't make him out for fuck sake. and did i not sya `who;s that, isn't it wallby?`
song-what comes around...goes around-lacuna coil what?? omg i have lost the plot. that song is aCTUALY by justin timberlake...*rolls eyes at self* god that's as bad as...*shushes self* mood-i just confused myself!
wel, short post today...
1) i am over alex... AGAIN
2) i do not fancy a hippie who's face must be reshaped by my fist
3) i have competition with a midget over iad guy...and possably emmah...*cries*
ok, sooooo, last wek, i was at the skatepark, and one of my old mates...who i didn't really talk to was there with his mates...and one of his mates is HOT...and i was like `no hornmentation...` and i didn't...and then, i was walking into town with emmah earlier and we were talking about the fact he (Tom for future refernce) is hot..and i was like `no horning...still` and then we told wallby (tom's mate) and he told tom..and then i saw tom without realsiing it..rofl
um...yeah, then i flrited with him =D
bad thing is-if emmha fancies him, then, i really can't fancy him TT.TT
the nihgt embrace me while this picture simply blows me away..i feel i only need your voice...
mood-hacked off...VERY hacked off *glowers in general direction of common room... song-cold heritage-lacuna coil
*gets rant out of system first*
ok..i am really anonyed now-i've jsut left pershore 6ht now...that's not why i am annoyed...i had one lesson left cause..i'm not in textiles now, and emmah and laura had a lesson..htat's fine...but i decided to go into the common room..as you know, i should be allowed there. well, it started off fine, got a really comfy sofa to lie on, ellie (ellouise) was there and it was all FINE. then she left and i was left with the three, stuck-up, twatish knobs (paul, head boy wannabe, verity) and they jsut wouldn't shut up. evry second-
`why are you here? didn't you leave?`
`why are you here? couldn't you walk home?` `don't you live in pershore?`
`didn't you leave yesturday?`
`are you gonna get a job?`
`they won't employ you`
`why don't you just go home rather than stay here?`
i mean IS THERE ANY NEED FOR THAT?
so i then decided `fuck this, i'm going home` well...i dind't think it...i just said it...and then, i didn't go home as (a) i'm hree in hte library typing this.... and (b) i'm still meeting emmah and laura at the end of the day...
so, i sat undre the common room..cause like, there's an overhang type thing..and i was at htere PEACEFULLY and then katy (one of the tw*ts' freinds) came out and walked past and she must have texted hem or somehting cause two minutes later i hear headboy wannabe's voice saying `i thought you were going home? why are you still here?` and hten he htrew smarties down at me...*rolls eyes* oh scared THAT made me feel *nods sarcasticaly* and hten paul said `shall we go down here?` so i moved under the stairs and sat htere for a few mins like a little emo wondering what to do with the next boring half an hour of my life and i decided to come here...
ok, now the rants over...i completley forgot everythnig else i was gonna say that was none rantish...
oh...the subject line...*puts lyrics in*
Don't tell me why
I'm so near to commit a crime
When I stay alone here in front of you
(I'm here)
Illusion falls when you're not honest about the way I feel
I know I need only your voice
Saving all my words only for you
Forgive me
Saving all my words only for you
I don't know why
There's a limit to defy
With the vision of the future at my feet
(I'm here)
The night embrace me while
This picture simply blows me away
I feel I'll need only your voice
And I'm lonely here inside of me
Deep inside of me
Believe in the light in me
And I'm lonely here inside of me
Deep inside of me
Reveal the light in me
Saving all my words only for you
Forgive me
And I'm lonely here inside of me
Deep inside of me
Believe in the light in me
And I'm lonely here inside of me
Deep inside of me
I've never
Never felt myself this way before
I don't want to leave you with my fears
If you'll disappear
Believe in the light in me
Saving all my words only for you
Forgive me
Falling on knees only for you
Forgive me
hmm...well...i completey forgot about htis song..all year practically, and i was in he mood for writting more on my story and i was like `i need lacuna coil` as that was what initialy started that story off...SOO, i put Unleashed Memories in (haha, bet you can guess what's coming up just by the name of the album?) and, i wa slisening and thne i got to this song and i remebered associating this song with alex WAY BACK IN SEPTEMBER becuase of the lyrics...especially the bit in the subject line..and even laura sees that and she normaly gets confused...*laughs at her*
so instead of getting ANY sotry done, i ended up going on a reminiscant trip...all night...and all of today...eh..story grooves coming back on though =D
so, hopefully my stingey dad allows me more than an hour on the net and i can get to everyone's sights proprely tonight!!
kaisap112:
you may join us in hte man beeting ^^
and really sorry about not commenting you properly last night, my computer was being spazzy!! *hugs*
ani mae:
haha, well i'm a bit skimpy at hte mo so i can't apyy too much!! but you may join in ^^
and i'm sure you beautiful!! hugs*
angel zakuro:
yes, he is indeedy a jerk...and he has a picture of an ape kissing a human...not that changes much..but still *glowers at metaphorical him*
emmah:
i'm gonna tag you now, just to be annoying... *evil laugh*
toodles for now!! *hugs everyone* ja matte ne!! xxx
ok-first off-i'm not actualy listening to that song...literaly, it's in my head...and...i cannae remember the actual...wait...*grabs folder* *changes subject line*
so anyway, hre i am horning ONCE AGAIN for the well known alex. again. i did like jake..but then emmah hated him...and now i hate him..and laura also hates him...though i don't know quite why as she hasn't ever spoken to him...but the butt of my (no laura, not literaly BUTT) hatred to him is pure insultment. though knowing me it is probably really quite stupid.
1) he deleted my comments on myspace (didn't hate him at this point)
2) he delted me :( (hated him at this point as i was for ONCE being polite and freindly)
for no reason..other than..he delted me!
eh. and then the whole kitten fandango on top of that just makes it all the more worse. i hate his guts.
emmah dearey-you are entilted to ripping his balls of. i intend to reshape his face with my fist...
and then..art..well that was a different experiance for once...laura came with me et chrissie cause she had nothing else to do, but my art teacher said she couldn't stay so she left..and i sat doodling stars all over my page...that was tres amusant as chrissie was tryna do her stars the way i do them and ended up drawing a house!! *rofl*
hmm...and then, i was staring off into space, chrissie poked me cause alex's coursework was there on the floor, so i looked thinking `oooooooohkaaaaay...` and then my art teacher was showing us (as in, the whole class) his art coursework book (alex's, not the teachers), and when he said `this is alex's book` viv (one of my mates, and also one of alex's mates) looked at me as in `hahahaha you fancy him and i know it and so does everyone else...` but i didn't give her the satisfaction of meeting her eye in embarrasment and instead i ignored the book and looked at the opposite wall...*pulls tehe face*
then a bit more into the lesson, he (mr Reid) started talking about the fact that alex had done impressionism (which i've just been doing in art for the last 2 months)(and apaprently doing now)(even though i don't do art now...)and viv looked at me AGAIN...in a similar way to before
emmah-i blame you for this for provoking me into convo with you on bebo with that picture of the whole `hazel loves alex clifton and his love spuds forever` ...see what you've...oh NOOOOO, viv's gonna have TOLD him...he's gonna THINK i actualy DO want his love spuds....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!ok so i actualy do....to people who don't understand or know what love spuds are-i suggest you don't ask..as it is...it's best you don't know i think ^^
anyhoo-so i am now horning for him again is the short of it...
ok, random happenings-the caretaker who i DO KNOW, just poked me in the ribs and made me 1) jump a mile and 2) SQUEAK!! i have just SQUEAKED IN THE LIBRARY GODDAMNIT!!!
ok, and back onto art...i no longer do it..as i think i have already said....(this is gonna be too long for me...) because i apparently struggled with the As course as i didn;'t do the GCSE art course.even thouhg i did the SHORT course in GCSE art and was told it was enough to get me onto the As level...so, i am not continuing with A2 so i am currently...sat in the library NOT doing art...and i'm not sure what's happening with A2 textiles atm...but basically, i'm not coming back to pershore 6th again, instead, i will be living with my gran in evescm and going to evescum college!! and doing a beautician's course which is the actual MAIn excitement..lol
and on a final note-sorry i'm not around atm so much...i just...my myO groove seems to have diminshed..i think it's cause i can never seem to uplaod my work...i'm gonna try uploading agian..s i now have about TWELVE wallpapers to upload...
and thanks for all the commetns, i really appreciate it ^^ and i will commetn back ASAP!!! *hugs everyone*
toodles!! xxx
oh...and me and laura just started singing `one way, or another...` just for everyone's entertainemnt...
if you're jsu tpassing by, PLEASE scroll to the bottom and click hte links!!
mood-normal...if normal is normal anyhoo..and if i could even be normal... song-cold heritage-lacuna coil
gees, it's ages since i heard that song...*puts it up for everyone*
hmm...so recently...dear lord, emmah wanted to dye her hair purple. you know, i'm absolutley FINe with that. stil lam. it's f*ck*ng awesome lol!! however, since then, i don't know what me or laura, or anyone else for that matter, have DONE to her...but she's turning into a GIRL
not that she never was...as in, she has found herself in `shoe heaven` and also the clothes...oh and superdrug...originaly, she'd never go in there, but one day i said `can we go ni ther please i need to buy somethin` half an hour later we are STILL in there...with both of us (me, this would be normal) trying on testers...and even mor recently, she BOUGHT herself LIPGLOSS which she is addicted to.
lmao, i now have a vai vair girly emo freind *laughs*
ohohohoh does anyone here remeber when i was nearly falling for a guy named jake?? (emmah, if you read iths, you SHOULD remeber since i still don't shut up about him...!)
well, i was on a mates myspace (yeah, i know, not as good as here, but i still use it) and i could see `jake` and i ended up clciking it..and dear lord!! not only am i now horning in general for him, I AM IN LOVE WITH HIS MUSIC!!! *tries to find a song to put up*
dear LORD!!! i had to creat an account AND upload that!! it took too long..oh well, yee cna all have another of his songs tomorow...or whenever i post..
