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Thursday, June 4, 2009


   Back on Creative Writing.




Came out with this, but no idea what to do with it!

You’re giving up!
Why?
You’re so young! We both are.
We’ve both had shit lives.
But we have each other.
You have a family to come to now.
If I niggle, it’s because I love you.
I won’t give up.
I fight for life.
I hate men.
I don’t care for them right now.
I have friends, wonderful friends.
I have family that ground me.
You share these with me!
So what more can you want for?
There are wonders passed humanity to look in awe at.
You know what I’m living by right now?
Life.
It dies in the autumn, and sleeps in death through winter.
When the spring comes again, stronger, more beautiful life that fights into existence,
And blossom in euphoria and beautiful contempt in summer.
We’ve both in winter for so long.
It’s been hard.
But like nature, spring will come.
So I will sleep.
And I will be patient.
I see that in a single tree.
So be patient sis, it’s not over yet.
Things will get better.
And we’re both going to be there together sis.
We’ve become each other.
You’ve been strong for me for so long, now I will be strong for you.
I’ll look out for you no matter how far apart we are.
So don’t give up sis.
The darkness in both our hearts will fade.
And we will glow again.
Is that not something to live for?
I love you sis.
We all do.
Don’t ever forget that, k?



so yes, it's been a while.
or a bit more than a while...*cough*
gomen.

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Thursday, March 12, 2009


   you'll never see me again, so now who's gonna cry for you?





mood-bored...
song-cry for you-September

Sooo, how long since I posted??
And how much has changed?? XD

I’m not with George anymore; he’s a twat so to speak.
Though we are still friends…it gives me the privilege of being able to kill him if he cheats on his new girlfriend.

And for the irony??
I found someone who looks like Alex!!
He’s HOT (and slightly…ok, very, ginger…)
But I actually speak to this one.

Thing is, I have NO idea if he likes me back or not…we keep making eyes at each other and stuff, and then, he’s always asking me if I’m ok. And…yeah, we talk a lot, and I have his number. (This is all different to what normally happens with me and men), HOWEVER…is it normal? Is it normal?? Aah someone help me I don’t know what to think!!

Why is it though, you fall in love, you fall out of love, you fall back in love, and with every time the feeling’s stronger and more…unpredictable and indescribable?
This time, I tried NOT falling in love (yeah, that really didn’t work) and now, it feels like I’m going mad, and the only way top stop it happening is to be in his arms. Just thinking about him makes my chest go tight and my heart flutter. Being with him makes me happier than anything in the world. And I can’t help but say `damn, I love him`.
But I don’t know how to find out if he likes me back, and I don’t want him to know that I have feelings for me unless I know the fact we’re friends won’t change. Hmm.
It’s so damming to be fair.

Haha, it makes me laugh., you’re not meant to eat or drink in the library, so I’m eating a pack of rolo cookies and drinking a can of vimpto XD
And I’m really not doing work. Either. I’ve done it all for ONCE woohoo. Ohh yeah. Lol.

Anyhoo, that’s enough catch-up rambling I think…

Photobucket


So yeah, that’s Jack… XD

Ja Mate Ne!! // xx

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Monday, January 12, 2009


   Du Hast Mich




mood-tiiierd
song-Du Hast ~ Rammstein

that is the randomest song i listen to, i swear. i mean, there's chicken dance, and nellie the elephant, but they don't go `you, you have, you have me` for five minutes of the song... oh and a bit of `no no no`...randomness...haha.

and i'm not angry, using that devil's face. i just find it looks more like a manicaly happy cheesy grin really...might be just me though... =D

did everyone have a good christmas and new year??
i have to say, mine was rather epic. i won't go into the gory details as it isn't exactly cheerful...

go me though!! longest relationship ever!! it'll be a month i've been with george on wednesday woop woop
and still no thinking of alex other than to point it out here, i think i may have actualy FINALLY got over him.
i also don't find him that attractive anymore...haha.
i should put a picture of george up here, see if anyone thinks he's better looking...lol...

and OMG i went on my first ever date on saturday, though not incredably romantic, and me and george ended up going halfs even though he said he's pay..lol.
started of with a 6" Sub of the day each and half a rainbow cookie, then we went to see Betime Storries at the cinema, which is HILARIOUS! we sat at the back, and then LOOOADS of children came in, and were sat in front of us and they thought we were both mad because we kept laughing at things and they didn't understand it!

we're going to see Bolt at some point too, again, will be child infested and no doubt me and George laughing more than them...says it all really!

oookaay, i'm now listening to Womaniser by Britney Spears. it's a good dance song, even if i don't particulaly like the woman...
ok i lie, i am a Britney fan... *looks a way and whistles tunlessly*

change of topic then...
i have assesment week this week, so by the end of it i am going to be VERY highly strung.
doing body galvanics tomorow, facial galvanics and epilation on the stomache on thursday, then a full body massage on friday. all on the same bloke...george...haha, guilt trip!! i basicaly said, he could have a full body massage IF he came in for the others, and then he said why. and i said `well, if you want me to pass this course and get a house with me in 8 months or so, you want to be helping me get there, sooo, you'll do it??`
also said he deserves the return of some pain (again i won't say)

sooo, i'm having a good new year so far...really...haha

mum gave me a suggestion for what to do after college as i'm not too keen on doing anine month cruise now i'm tied to a person...(i'll do it later in life instead) is to go to Austrlia if i can find a sponsorship...several ways to mind, find my familly in Australia, or the easier one, though not preferable one, marry george and beg his uncle to sponsor me...
my parents say this, because my dad thenw ent on to say i could sponsor THEM to move out there. how RUDE?? lol

to be fair, it is a bit like a calling, if anyone else beleives in that, because i seem to keep runing into things to do with Australia. a course in Sydney Colelge came through the post, people keep mentioning it, i read a book that was set in Austrlia, the film `AUSTRALIA` came out and my mum keeps going on about it...
so maybe...

anyhoo, i'm going to go do yet aNOTHer assignment *joy* and comment emmah if she's done ehr usual trick of getting a post up while i'm doing mine...

ja mate ne!
~X-♥-X~


modit://

no, she didn't...

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008


   Posting off my phone




I officialy love my phone! As its letting me get myo...

im officialy dating george now! He asked me out at LAST! lol

i shall comment everyone when i have a comp xx

ja ne//xx

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Monday, December 15, 2008


   -'cause i'm ready for the hip hop beats....




song-up~the saturdays
mood-happy ^^

what a random band name, the saturdays...
good song though.
and yes, i am DEFINATLEY over alex now. i mean it this time...

i haven't thought about him for several weeks and i as good as have a boyfreind now. who's two years younger than me >> but it's ok. and amusing as said person actualy acts more maturer than me! haha

i only have two more death note mangas to buy so...i'm getting there squee though i was sooo shocked by what just happend *sob*
and confused with Near and Mello. well no i'm not, i know who they are, i'm just...intruiged so to speak...

i don't really have anything else to say sooo...
toodloo!!!/xx


modit//.

yay beastly massage assignment...

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008


i say it one last time just for you, then we realy have to go




mood-reminiscent
song-run-leona lewis

look at that!! i'm not tierd or ill for once!! wohoo.
ok i feel quite ill, but that's just normal.
and i am reminiscing somewhat chronic.
it's this song (run by leona lewis) that i had quite forgotten about until i went on to emmah's profile.
i heard it at grans two days before she went on to her parties, and it made me nearly cry then. i would cry now. but mum's faffing. and mum faffing REALLY annoys me. soooo. i shall have to somehow donwload the song, or get someoen to buy me the CD for christmas...and then have a private cry in my room...

none of that was ACTUALY meant to be in this post.
initialy, this was going to be my post:

`i'm reading death note. how is everyone?`

yeah that was it. then i went off on a tangent about leona lewis. hmm...

ok, i think. and i say it once again (what is it, the 23rd time by now?) i MAY be getting over alex. that is i'm goin through one of my `liked toshiro, then met alex` phases. where i now like `L or Light (not too fussed which one...) as much as i liked toshiro` phase. so maybe a light or L look alike will pop up??
i hope so.
and this time i hop they're single.
and i speak to them.
and emmah isn't near me going `she wants to getin your PANTS MR__.
and that i don' embarass myself either.
and that it's soon...

my mum just found a picture or two of me when i had my short short haur last year.
it's horrendous.
it's actualy mortifyingly embarassing and i may have to put on facebook for sh*ts and giggles...haha
seriously, i'm going to burn them. (by that i mean i'll hide them somewhere and find them again in a year or so and really think i was mad. again.)

oh oh!..?
has any one here seen prince caspian??
if not, then you probably won't udnerstand this next bit. if yes, then...you know Reepicheep is the voice of Eddie Izzard? (a comdeian)
well, i was in a mates car going to the Peak Dstrict-





(i did a climb just around from there)

-and he put Eddie Izzard on. seriously, all i could see was this Mouse with a small rapier around his waste brandishing a tea towel and going on the "FRESH" section of a supermarket...
i found it twice as funny as i should have done...

i have nothing else o say, but another 60 chapters o death note to read...soooooooo...

ja ne!!//xx

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Thursday, December 4, 2008


   hahahahahahaha!! the devils out!




i'm generaly not one to bitch or swear copiusly, so apologies to the context of this post...

sorry, i'm not as such here...buuuuuuuuuuut, my horoscope tday is HILARIOUSLY right!!

`leo, you will arise today with a strange feeling - it's called being over it. you no longer care what a good-for-nothing person thinks, and that feels great!`


damn f*ck*ng right!!!
today in college, me and one of my mates, D, we got so pissed with my "supposed" best freinds, L, that we just played her own game back on her!
L kept asking us to wait fo her, even though she NEVER waits for us, and me and D were like `oh we're going out the FRONT for one of those CRAPPY CIGARRETTES s we didn't think you'd mind as you're going to the canteen`
she didn't understand it...

or the fact me and D sat a seet down from her in theory with the line `we don't want to BUMP you because we're left handed`...
she didn't understand that.
my lecturer did though...

nah, that girl has SERIOUSLY f*ck*d me and D off this year, and to be quite honest, i have seriously had enough of this sh*t SO, no more girl that's gonna take sh*t, no f*ck*ng way, i'm giving it right back out!

~
i've never had such a b*tch about anyone before, even E who emmah knows and despises. made me feel better though... >>

i also found a most annoying fact to life. i can't buy any more death note now until i miraculuosly land a windfall, and i finished it on such a cliff hanger!! apparently i'm going to shut up in case someone else is readingit and isn't wh i'm up to.
bugger.
*wants some death note*

ok, i'll um...do that beastly assignment in for tomorow...
toodloo!

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Monday, December 1, 2008


   if you see the wonder of a fairytale, you can take the future even if you feel




song-i have a dream-mamma mia
mood-somewhat normal for once...

Yep, I’m listening to Abba songs...haha, I finally got to see Mamma Mia last week! it had been imposable for us to see it in the cinema so we just bought the DVD. I have to say Pierce Brosnan singing is absolutely hilarious!!
I just don't thing I’ll be able to watch James Bond with him in it anymore!

How is everyone today?
Sorry I disappeared offline for a while, things going on left no time for interwebbing…

Starting off on a sliiightly depressing though…Gran’s funeral went ok last week, everyone laughed at me though because I’d done my make-up properly, and of course, crying and all…the eyeliner and mascara didn’t go, no no, it was the foundation, powder and blusher that all ended up on my chin!!
But everything’s ok now, back in college and not tooo far behind everyone else, just two assignments elft to do which will take one night of slogging at the computer. And possibly a whole facial…

Also, I started reading Death Note. Don’t know if anyone else has read that??

Anyhoo, just went and got my notes that I missed so I’m gonna finnish this post here and do them!! Hope you all have a good day. *starts singing along to Abba*

Ja ne/x


modit//:

ok, not doing any work as the lecturer only gave me HALF the notes so i can't actualy do it...

i have to laugh at my horoscope today, APPARENTLY, the thing i've been waiting for for quite some time has just come into my life has just enetred it...
unless something's happened i haven't been told about, nooo it hasn't. i don't know why i even bother reading them anymore!

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008


say goodbye to all you know, to all you know with these eyes... ~~ *warning* depressing post




song-say goodbye-bliss
mood-tired

Angel Zakuro- I remember you asking me about the saying death come in threes and I was going to answer but…really didn’t think about it again. It’s said because either by co-incidence or what, when you know someone who dies, generally you know two other people who’ve died not long before or after.
Vespoman-yep, I saw your comment, and added you on msn. How come they froze your account on theO though??
Emmah: ENOUGH SPAM ALREADY!!!!!!

Well, today's going to be interesting...sort of.
mum and dad have gone to the coroners now to see if Gran's body will be released or if they want to do a post mortem or not, meaning it'll be another week before we can start making funeral arrangements. *sigh*
And all the dear lady wanted was to be burnt on a bonfire!

I also have to speak to my lecturer about getting some time off. I can see me being put in the slaughter house though; as that'll put my attendance to something like....46% this term?? So I have to make up 39% AT LEAST to pass this course.
I also have to pick up said huge essay she mentioned on Monday -.-'

...

I know Gran's happy where she is though, weird as it sounds. On Monday when I started smoking AGAIN (there is a £2000 reason for that though) I was in the garden and there was just one star visible to begin with (I’d asked to see the stars that evening for some reason) and then a proper break in the clouds. Then it rained on me, but you a soft rain?? It was more like that. And I love the rain.
No idea why, but that put me at peace.

Then yesterday, my two cousin's had come down to be with us, and we all decided we'd go out for a Thai lunch as none of use felt up to anything past making a cup of tea so we did that.
I tried a jasmine tea (which I’ve never seen to buy in this country) and thought `oh hey I have tea leaves at the bottom of this...` so I did some tea leaf reading.
the first thing we all saw was a lady in 1920/30s style dress with a hat on and a bag walking merrily along a wall (my Gran was born up north in a place called Wall in 1927)
When I did it again I got the same lady, but sat down as if to do a tapestry 9my Gran did tapestries)

I know that probably sounds all strange, but it’s only my brother that doesn’t really believe in all of that malarkey…

I know Gran isn’t yet through the pearly gates yet, she’ still watching over us all. In other words, making sure we do everything to her word other wise she’ll STILL knobble us with her walking stick.



Going to Portsmouth again Friday (if I get some times off), my friend down there offered to pay for me to go see her since we’re practically sisters. As I said to dad, `we’re illegitimate sisters without bloodline` which made no sense to anyone. Mum said no and won’t let her pay her back either. I’m staying out of this otherwise it really will get no where except tears.
I suppose, since I have some free time, I should try and do some art...I have no inspiration now though! T.T’
Keep thinking of doing some more wallpapers….but again with the inspiration *sigh*

Well, I’m going to go back to sleep as I am absolutely drained right now.
Ja ne!/x

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008


hopes her gran enjoys her re-union party




song-in the arms of the angel-sarah McLoughlin
mood-shocked

well, my lovely gran passed away yesturday morning. she made it passed the night (which she didn't want bless her, she wanted to go in her bed) but my dad says she was peaceful and comfy when she went.

i certainly wasn't expecting it to come this quick, but it's ok now, we all know she's happy where she is.

ja/x

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