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Friday, January 25, 2008


   purple gem




mood-wooooo
song-in the dark-tiesto

loooooooooook!!!:



Tiesto - In The Dark lyrics


there's a videoooooooooooo!!!
haha, lol, one of my favourite songs that be...

anyhoo...

i have my belly button pierced!! it's soo cool, and entirely thanks to emmah t's done! since she talked me into it, and then lent me some money for it...haha

it is titanium so..it's all cool and i had it done in a place called rings and needles. the guy who did it was so cool! he made me feel realy calm! (i have a fear of needles) lmao
and then it has a dark purple glass/plastic gem inbedded in it.

i really want a butter-fly belly bar now...but i need to wait 6-8 weeks before i can take it out...

0o0o0

don't you hate chavs??
i had one come down the park where me emmah and laura were re-united for the first time n a looooong time lmao and this right c*** came down adn was like `crash me a fag` CONSTANTLY. to the point i was off my rocker with anger swearing at him and SOO CLOSE to hitting him.
thne he insulted emmah and that was her pissed off her rocker...

did you know dumbledore was gay?? in harry potter??
i didn't...untl someone told me.
actualy, i need to check htat's true...

*checks*

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7053982.stm


he actualy is!! 0.0 haha...EMMAH!! THOSE FAN FICS!! we actualy knew that aaaaaaaaaaaaages ago as a jokey thing lmao!

urh..yeah, i shall...go now i think...haha ja ne! ¢¨ú

modit

like `you're trying to get your hopes up, but you can't help it. don't worry, what you're wishing for will come true` NO IT F*CK*NG WON'T! as it said that a week ago...oh yeah...really? *sighs* that's normaly my true horoscope as well

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008


can't hope it all away...




mood-grr
song-wash it all away

*sarcastic yaying* i be back with my problems of old...
the codene for my period cramps is working, neither is anadin EXTRA STRONG. i also feel like i might throw up at any second *sighs* so, the full moon is here and i am majorly cramped over in pain and i really would pay stupid money for a hysterectomy. it's bad enouhg having pains and sickness all through the month without having to have it 10 times worse once a month. i don't care if i could never have kids because i never want them anyway.

dad also is moaning at me this morning. i got up HALF AN HOUR BEFORE HIM and just as i was about to walk out the door to catch the bus, he said `can you put your washing out` and i said `no i have to get the bus now` so he just moaned at me the whole way down the drive because he was putting the rubbish out and he went off one one saying how i should get up earlier and make time for putting my washing out first before going anywhere. just because it over the banister last night when it was raining and left it there this morning because ti was nearly dry. HE FUCKING PUTS THE WASHING THERE AS WELL!

i'm sorry for ranting agian, i just needed to get that off my chest...because it's strange that here, i'll write how i really feel, but i hate telling people i know and are close to me how i feel becaues i get scared they 'll just start thinking i'm attention seeking. but then it's the same here *sighs* is there a sight you can just blog on and no one could read??

eh. the only little bit of cheer i see righ tnow is that emmah MAY come online around about now...and i just read my horoscope below this *which is normaly true* and it siad about keeping an eye on appearance because i'm `going to meet someone i've bene hoping to meet for a long time ` and i'm off down the pub later...
probably not true for me though as fate isn't liking me right now *cries*

anyhoo, i shall depress you all know more and say goodbye! xx

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Monday, January 14, 2008


   toshiro! ^^




song-what hurts the most-cascada
mood-should be p*ss*d, but actualy happy

i shoud be in a foul mood, my interent just froze, and i lsot the entiriy of my post, so this will be mini, as a) i can't be bothered to type up five pages again...and b) i can't remember what i waffled on about anyway.
it wasn't five pages, more one page, with me exagerating on it.

so nayhoo, that anger melted when i found my new wallpaper..so my interent crashing was a disguised blessing *stares at toshiro*

anyhoo...i found a gorgeous cruise liner, which hopefully *crosses figners* i can work on in a year and a half's time!!

LOOK!






it's lush1!
there's also tall ships i wouldn't mind working with, but that'll be after two years wiht Steiner, as they take straight from college.

urm, yup, that's all i can think to say.

oh, ther other one was `i can't read my comments or post comments`
mum's blocked the bl**dy pop-ups hasn't she?
she's done that, and everytime i click `comments` it freezes the computer and i have to shut it down unceremoniously...

anyhoo, ja ne!! ¢¨ú

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008


   brr




mood-frozen and ill
song-listen to the rain-evanescence






Sparkling grey
They're my own veins

Any more than a whisper
Any sudden movement of my heart
And I know
I know I'll have to watch them pass away

Just get through this day

Give up your way
You could be anything
Give up my way
And lose myself

Not today
That's too much guilt to pay

Sickened in the sun
You dare tell me you love me
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
Honey you know
You know I'd never hurt you that way

You're just so pretty in your pain

Give up my way
And I could be anything
I'll make my own way
Without your senseless
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate

So run
Run
Run
And hate me
If it feels good
I can't hear your screams anymore

You lied to me
But I'm older now
And I'm not buying baby

Demanding my response
Don't bother breaking the door down
I found my way out

And you'll never hurt me again



oh, the song changed, it's now lithium...

comment replies

emmah-using comment manager ALSO crashes my computer at home, thankfully, you haven't said any doginess in a comment so i can read the comments here ^^

angel zakuro- i'd love to be his GF...maybe, if the short-ass actualy uses facebook and approves me so i can try and find a way to start a convo... i'm getting my first book published HOPEFULLY in february, with luck.

post

Ride on, see you, I could never go with you
No matter how I wanted to.
Ride on, see you, I could never go with you
No matter how I wanted to.


yet another song at folk night that i can relate to...haha, seriously, it's ever song!!

um, so...first post this year...i think...unless i did another post, which i can't get..remeber even. spob.

yesturday. what larks of erlackness.
i'm glad i'm not a male,
and also glad i'm not a GAY male in more definition *looks at ILF*

i had to have some "examinations" done by the gastroenterlogist yesturday...ergh.
HE had to slip his funger up my rimhole and but some mild anaesthetic cream stuff on it, then he said `i'm just going to pump some air up your bum`, which he did, then he shoved a camera thing up!!! *pain and cringe* and was just looking up my lower sacred proverbial, and then said `well, you're going to have to have some MORE examinations done within 6 weeks.`

ARGH MY BUM!!!
(i don't say that every day)

then i had to have fiour blood tests, which they tried doing out my normal arm (my right arm, as i am left handed...aka caggy-handed) and they couldn't get ANY blood from that vein, so, the nurse moved the needle around in my vein and said `tell me if it hurts` so, naturaly, i screamed when she moved it. so then they used another needle and stole blood from my left arm.
so now i look like a serious heroin user, as suppoese to occasional, as i have a bruise on each vein. joy.

then i got given a bottle to use for a "sample" and it's not urine.
it's rank, seriously. there's normal a lid for sample bottles yes? well this one has a mini spoon thing in it. erlack a pongoes.

why do i have to be ill?? now they want to examine other things. which i own't gross you out with.

i then had to treck some more of hosipital to another ward where they gave me a `clean out pill`
aka laxatives...
and my "examinations" are on a monday...
andrea at work won't be at happy with me. there is NO way i am working the usnday before, as i have to take these lovely pills the night before.
i could go to work, but i'd be spening most of the shift in the toilet.
which wouldn't be beneficial to anyone, me included as the staff toilet is f*ck*ng cold!!

urm...so, that's that for the gastro bit.
oh, he did say `it's UNLIKELY to be cancer.` that top me means ther is a minute possability *smacks head on a desk*

whatever it is, they had best find whatever's wrong with me quick. i don't want any more invasions to my sacred proverbial. not even from the boyfreind i don't have.

hmm...

so, in 20 mins, i have to leave college (once more this week) to go see a dietician.
the only cha ge i've had since my last visit toh e ris that i now eat egg.
she's not going to be a happy bunny with me, especialy when she looks at my weight as i have lsot more since last seeing her *cries*

urh..then i have to see my GP (again) tomorow...

what a great week in the new year eh?

that's really all i have to say, apart from to ILF (who won't read this) but i know he'd love seeing my consultent as he is male, and ILF likes men etc etc...

so...

BLOODY HELLL THEY'VE TURNED THE AC ON!! argh you loons!! i'm cold before you even turn the fridge on *sits shivering*

as i was about to say, on that bomb shell, i shall leave you now...

ja ne!! X-¢¨ú-X

modit

only i could find alex ine very language i look at, even when i'm not actualy LOOKING for his name. greif.

ALE m Finnish
Finnish short form of ALEKSANTERI or ALEKSI
ALEKSANTERI m Finnish
Finnish form of Alexander.

blumey.

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Wednesday, January 2, 2008


fire and ice




i am SO easily excited over nothing.
i had a thought-al might be down the brandy tonight.
i had another though-it's open mic night down at the brandy
i had a third night-i could go if i could find someone to come with so i wasn't alone.

my best gay mate is coming with me and now i have excited butterflies in my stomache.

anyhoo, i found a song for my mood lol:



ok, so you may be wondering what the whole feeling `fire and ice` is all about...lol
me being wierd. i dunno, my mate said something about missing Al by ten mins the other day when i'd been in to see her at work, and for some reason since then, i've gone ice cold to fiery hot back to ice cold.
constantly.

it's stupid, but i just...want to...i am actualy gonna quit this sentance now!!

on another note before i leave, i would here, reply to comments, however, everytime i CHECK my comments..or try to...my whole internet has a nark at me and i havce to completly shut everything down and start again..which is anonying me becuase i WANT to read your comments!!

ja ne!! X-¢¨ú-X

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Monday, December 31, 2007


   last post this year!






song-wash it all away-evanescence
mood-COLD

quote of the day

"it seems impossable to forget, but how i long to forget. if only i never saw you, then i could never love you"-me

avatar of the day





hello peoples!!
i hope you all had a good christmas and are ready for the new year!!
i dread to think when i last did a post on here, my sight may need dusting to get hte cobwebs away now...hmm...*gets duster out*

I FINISHED MY BOOK!!


i'm gonna get it published hopefully late january/february...hopefully, dpeends whethere we cna afford it then or not!!
and i'm on page 214 of my naxt one wooooo!!
it's a bit racey, not for the younger audiance!

i am also tierd.
very tierd and so cold...as i keep saying...

maybe i should do an `up date on alex` bit..but nothing has changed really...i still love him lmao it's a record for me!! i've liked one guy for a year and a half now!
haha, i am also so sad as to buy me a ring and wear it on my wedding finger to show i am not going to go out with any other guy, except him, unless i get ENTIRELY over him.
i can't honestly see it happening though.
i haven't seen that boy in half a year and i still cna't get him out of my head. *sighs*

it dosn't help that i think he may have split up with that girl i also never shut up about...because...(shows the sad, salightly stalkerish side) i was on her bebo, and for ages, she had in the section of `things i like doing`, she had `seeing al (he got jealous cause i dind't mention him) x)` (see how sad that is? i bloody remembered that? dear gott in himmel as emmah would say...) that isn't there now...there is no mention of him, no pictures of him, not even her relationship stauts is up!!! sooooooooooo...*is getting hopes up again*

he still hasn't been on facebook though..i think i must have scared him off when i added him lmao...still my request is still pending!!
dear god i love him.

that aside...
i don't know what to say...

urh...

lets repeat myself then...
omg i have pink nails. i don't know why...ok obviously i painted them pink, but i don't know wHY they are pink. oh well. it is anice pink.

have a great new year everyone!!! xxxxx


modit:


haha, i just forgot what my last post was all about...
yeah, it was a very short and to the point post of saying randoms...i... donn't know what that was all about really...sorry about that one!!

emmah: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MARBLES!! I WOULD LIKE A COMMENT THAT SIZE WHEN I WRITE A POST THIS SIZE NOT A COMMENT THAT SIZE ON A POST THAT IS ONE WORD!!
i mena HOW do you get an essay from word emmah, HOW????

yes, you have lost the plot...what in brian's name were you online for at 1:30 am??? no wonder you're enver online wiht me anymore!! *cries* and where are you tonight?? IT'S MONDAY AND YOU ARE NOT ONLINE!! *cries* i'm doing a lot fo crying here aren't i?? thank brian it's only metaphorical like your balls then...

ah, htere's your comment on how you can write an essay from one word then...

oh dear, emmah, please get me Phd...please...

a gretting? what's a GRETTING may i ask?? haha

and can i PLEASE have your mobile number??? i still don't have it!!

oh greeting.. i did think that's what you meant, but you may have been on about gremlins, so i thought i'd question it.
i want a gremlin, but i have a lemur instead, he is so cute. he is also called alex. becuase he has gorgeous eyes like alex, even though alex is a human, and alive, and the lemur is a teddy, and has a blue tail...

you;re getting snowball piercins are you?? hmm...

i want some balls to play with. not my own. alex's preferably...of the cliff variety, not the brem or hte hide or the farts..or whatever else...

apaprently gina is living in pershit atm, i havn't seen her, i couldn't miss a bush of hair like that...talking of bushes, i saw the bushbitches mother herself walking snottily through town and ignoring me.

no trust me emmah, i can...i really can with you...
that sounds dodgy, dosn't it?

WELL WHY DON'T YOU GET PANTY RAID AND I WILL STOP RAIDING THEM!!! (like hell will i stop raiding you...i want to put htem on a snooooooowman to keep it warm like...) or i could shove a turkey down them...

huh. facebook. i havn'et even bothred with myspace for sooooooo long now. it's sort of boring..there's not enoghu on it...i don't really use bebo anymore either, to be honest.


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Tuesday, December 18, 2007


...




randoms

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Wednesday, December 5, 2007


oh my actualy literla pink god as liz would say




song-in the dark-DJ Tiesto
mood-shocked

quote of the day
you know you're in love,
when all at once the world stops
and your heart misses a beat...
then suddenly time's gone
and you don't know where


avatar/image/thing







i had to shove a pictre of alex up..gomen
yeah, i'm sure you can tell what this post is gonna be can't you?

it all started cause i found alex on facebook...
and i now sit here thinking `am i adding him or not?` and on that bomb shell..i'm shoving the lin here so i can actualy FINd his facebook again (watch him change it to private lol)

alex's facebook

omg he don't have his relationship stauts up..neither does gina...hmmm...

but anyway...what i am actualy shocked about..is the fact he is taurus.

i have been thinking in my head `i bet he's a taurus` (don't ask me why) and it turns out he is :o
i actualy stoppped breathing (for whatever bizzare reason) when i found that out...oh and then my arms turned to lead (not literaly) ad started shaking lmao

again i hate my sub concious.
soooooooooooooo much.

so what do you guys think?
add him or not??
he'll probs decline anyway lmao

ja ne xxx

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007


   this college gets annoying!




mood-extremely cold
song-blue-eifel 65

avatar



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



poem by moi:

looking through the mirror,
another wrold...
a better life...

maybe i should smash the glass,
end this life...
start it again...

blood blossoms on the carpet,
the shards of mirror scattered everywhere...
my life stops breathing...


grief almighty. i can't do anything at college anymore! so annoying TT.TT can't get onto bebo through proxy servers BECAUSE they have disabled cookies...like the dude in charge, so we can't enable the cookies. bum. i can't get onto anyone else's sight (unless emmah, you have inapropriate content in your post today??) facebook refuses to work. grr. *shakes fist at network*

oooooookay....sloxy works....woo beboness!! as far as the homepage anyway...scratch that..it crashed -.-

omfg-it works. and i am now so bloody disturbed, i wish it didn't. some creepy gay just asked me out. ARGH! *runs and hides*
emmah, you are the only one with such insanity to save me. SAVE ME!!! PLEASE!!!

ok, so...this would be the first time i have managed to get on a computer in soo long..again...i miss it! i miss you all!!

i may rant on here though...i haven't ranted for a while...

so...i had that operation...it went crudy really.
i don't have endometreosis....which i'm sure i should be happy about. but i'm not. not cause i want sympathy or anything, but because If i had had it, i would know what was wrong with me...
but the gynaeocologist has told me that i am perfectly normal and helathy.

perfectly normal and healtyhy my friggin arse!!! prime example of the case...who has periods (men excluded from this question) after 48 days one day, then 13 days later they have another period, then whatever the next time?
who also has crippling pains making them throw up, other bits i won't mention and also so incapable of lying down to sleep or sitting up..or just anything??
is that really a perfectly normal helathy girl? don't think so.

oh and periods are "supposedly" meant to get better as the years go by.
i happen to be the reverse of that.
fudgecakes.

and on top of that, my GP has said to not take the medication....like hell am i bipassing the medication! i actualy can't.

that's my ranting lol

i hate first buses.

ok, that too...
yeah that's about...suprisingly, the bus drove passed me. again. oh not just me either, i walked INTO town, where the bus is most definalty meant to stop, there twenty other people, and the bus drove straight passed! that is like the bus driving passed the flaming bus station!!

ok... well, i might get on the computer at home tomorow so i should hopefully *crosses fingers* get to comment you all tomorow. i hope i do, i owe you all it so majorly!!!
and i really want to read collage antics if i have a reply...suince i can't even check my friggin emails here anymore. grr.

oooh...i finally watched emmah's elfen leid DVDs so i am up to about episdoe...8ish...i think...i like it. a lot. ok not the female nudity bit ya know? but the stroyline's awesome ^^
mum nearly walked in on it...at a naked part *laughs* so i had to rush up to my TV and press stop lmao

ooh and i just had another thought (ther are many coming my way today lmao, must be the kick i had this morning)..(i mean energy drink there, not actualy a kick!) well it's not a thought..more a kind of `ooh`. and grief i'm rambling like what'sherface from the georgia nicolson books. who emmah has likened me to many a time. beginign with J as well i think...
but yes anyway, i am on my second book now ^^
the first one is finished, that was 178 pages long ^^ and with the second one, i'm currently on page 60 somehing...*checks* 67!!!
woohoo
and my lovely Vati is proof-checking over Angelie I demonie and he's about page 115 of it, so thne i get to go throgh it and change what's needed, sort out the front cover and voila! sne dit off to the publishers and get it done!! ^^
also, my dad said he'll pay for this one for me to get me started, then i pay for any others that follow. so it's ok i guess??
i just hope the book sells when it gets onto the shelves!!!

ooooooh!! i shall have to put the cover up here when i get on the computer and scan it in!! it is actualy awesome.
i would quite like to go back to PHS and shove it in my old art teachers face with the word `sir, i do NOT suck at art, i only suck at copying someone elses style. now gimme my other art book`

he lot one of ym art books.
i shouldn't really care ya know? i sucked at art really...what with my E grade...but i worked a whole sodding year on that damned book!!! a whgole f-in year and countless sleepless nights and he's fudging lsot it...also with the cheek to say `i do believe qwe had the problem of you not having a propper art case`
oh yeah? who embarassed me IN FRONT OF ALEX whilst there was me holding my PROPPER ART CASE asking for my art stuff to put it in...oh and also stood there holding ti when i asked about my lost book...and when he watche dme and chrissie trying to put both our coursework in it...stupid gay.

on note of alex-i saw him again the toher day!! (now has chris de burgh in my head...) not for much, really..but i had walked a mate bac kto the train station so she could go back to uni...and then, on going back passed PHS, i happened to look in and saw Al's car there lol...and yup, i broke in (i say broke in, you have to, i shall explain that in a minute...) and i walked passed him when i went to meet gareth who was just leaving...and then we were stood nattering away and Al came in and it was rather an akward silent minute *laughs*
i really do get excited over nothing a lot of the time!!

on breaking in...

i went to PHS about two weeks ago to propperly vist everyone and i went up with two mates, and one of them got caught, so he pointed at me so we both had to go and SIGN IN to our insultment whilst our other freind didn't even get noticed.
so, we trundled off to reception to sign in and then they said `why do you want to vist?`
hmm..lets think now...
then they said `you can only vist during lunch time` so we waited..and wiated...till the admirable*not* McKenzie came along and she said `oh well if you just waut about ten minutes for me, i'll show you up to the common room`
so we waited. again. and i thought `well how patronising? i was here for five years, in he common room for one year, i rather think i know the way...`
and finaly we got shown to the common room...and McKenzie siad `you can't wander around school, you have to stasy in the common room`
what? how are we meant to visit freinds NOT in 6th form? or teachers??
so naturaly, we buggered off out the common room...
and at the end of lunch time, she missioned to find us!!
not my other freind who got out of signing in...just me and my mate!
so annoying.
so really, i may pass on going back to visit PHS!!
but i wan tmy book back TT.TT

well, anywhoo, i have ranted enough methinks, i shall leave you all in peace now ^^

ja ne!! X-¢¾-X

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Wednesday, November 7, 2007





song-autumn's monologue
mood-woo

helloooooo i am alive!!
lol
just thought i'd leave a note to say i am still around...i intened to do a decent post and, AND comment everyone i can. next time i'm online at home, because since i get tio use the computer aobut once a blue moon now, i am generally allowed a bit longer on...

however, i need to go now becuase the elcturer is giving me evils >.>

and the proxy list to use is getting vair vair short...
bum.

lol,
ja ne!!




ooooooh, i have my hair extensions now ^^
it's quite long, but not down to my bum like i wanted. ah well-can't have everything, and i lobe my long hair ^^
it's staying!!

modit

i feel like a witch.
you know when you get the halloween masks?
my hair smells like that and it's all i can smell cause for the FIRST time in my life, i am sat with my hair down...
it really does pong and i cna't actualy wash it for three days cause the glue needs to comepletey dry out >.>

friday shall be intersting then.

modit2

grief, everytime my lecturers the other side of the room, i'm modifying my post...

i jus notcied in checking my inbox and then main apge, everyone's disapeared!! barly anyone's actualy updated...

*hides from lecturer*

funny thought-emmah

you know in harry poter 7, viktor grows a bear?
i was redaing that agina alst night.
i just thought of alex growing that pathetic beard.
lmao.
you probs don't see the humour in it *hides again*

god she's on a missh to bust me isn't she??



OMG OMG OMG OMG

HARRY POTTER 5 COMES OUT ON DVD ON MONDAY WOOHOOOO


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