song listening to-this light i see
mood-I WANT TO MURDER SOMETHING
my mum came back from her hoiday yesturday feeling a lot better (she was MAJORLY stressed before going) so hopefully she can keep the stress at bay *prays* but even better, she rang two days before she came back and i gave in and told hre how i'd been feeling (ill, pissed, depressed and stressed...and the weight loss issue-1 1/2 stone....REALLY bad) and she said she'd do what she could to get me out of english, even more so cause the exam entry forms had come through and it costs £80 if you miss an exam....so she rang the head of 6th (cotton bud) and she said she'd let me off hte course, so i had to do my speechy bit of `yes, well i want t go into fashion *couhg couhg* so the textiles and art would be fine, then she gambled on about university and i said hat i didn't want to go and even if i did i'd NEVER aford it, but that i was going to do an open university course when i was a bit oldre ad she was `fine fine, that's fine. i'll go let your teachers know...` *gets out of classroom and skips*
but...not sure what my healths up to...it was majorly bad last niht so i was nearly throwing up TT.TT and ended up sleeping in the lounge and waking up to two iceburgs (my feet) chilling me even more so....
if i wake up tomorow feeling fine and dandy, then i'm seriously gonna be glad i dropped english it had got that bad....
so, there's a good thing.
another good thing-the chinese new year celebration i went to yesturday.
it was awesome.
i made up with one of my freinds htat i'd had a AMJOR of all proportion fall out, so htat's cool now (yes emmah, laura (Betteh.), you may still hate her) and we had to speak a line of mandarin and i got the easy peasy line `xin nian kuai le` (happy new year) htat said, i had to lead everyone on stage and speak first..and man, two years of drama and i still felt like diving the ohter way and fleeing down the stairs, but my backbone got in the way *shakes fist* which is good, cause it was completely awesome hte whole time and got to speak to loads of new people...and some hot chinese men of our age *looks away all innocent* and then after the celebrations, we got invited to a private party (first ever party invite here) at a chines resteraunt and i ate with chop sticks which is more htan some of hte chinese men htere were doing..i say men, there were ladies, but to be fair, i wasn't realy looknig at them htat much for obviouse reasons such as th ebig one about me being straighht...emmah.
so, back on to today, and also the bad points about today..it's all gonna be boringly crappy so feel free to skip past this as i'm only doing it to get it off my chest.
preson A is all i need to say.
god i wish i nevre had to look at him again.
i was fine htis morning, al lskippy cause of the english thing and every hting was FINE. hten friggin A has to come to our tutor this morning didn't he? this morning when our tutor was doing her generaly usualy late act and i wa slike `crap crap *backs into wall*` and i was PRAYING that he'd just wait outside, but NO he had to come and friggni stand right bloody next to me didn't he?? i swear he does it to spite me. well, thinking that was as bad as it got, it got worse. miss me tryna avoid looking at him let alone touching him, happened to be by the door. well turns out htat was a big mistake. our tutor FINALY arrived and gave A hte keys, who then gave htem to me and our hands touched TT.TT that's so unbeleivably sucky cause now i'm htinking about him even more *shakes fist at tutor* so, me being sligtly ill and threefore shaking from cold, ended up having EVERYONE watch me unlock hte door...oh the joy. at least i turned the key the right way first time for once.
that was that. end of. bruised my wrist from punching the window frame repeatedly until he left the room, which was five minutes later with vicky asking whats wrong and me just looknig at her and saying `oh nohting, just a fly you know...*looks at tutor*` `oh..` `yes oh`
randomly went for a walk to he ford which is about a mile away..i htink..don't actualy know...(emmah's decided i make a brilliant Jaz (emmah, how d'ya spell her name??) from hte Georgie Nicoleson books) and came back...
had some random fun htat cmes from only me, emmah and laura....had a book thrown at us from some chav in the year below us, who also kicked emmah off her computer rudely.
back in the common room. wow. hte hting i thought would get me over person A finaly happened. he actualy kissed his GF several times right in plain view of me. does it work? hell no. gees. htis is anoying me now. what wILL get me over him short of never seeing him again which will happen in another....*thinks*....five monhts...fuck...
to add to insult, i find myself gazing at him (i'm a girl, we're allowed to do that) and he caught me. grr. why me..WHY?? emmah never had this trouble TT.TT
and i think, by now, as it is blatantly obvious, he knows i facny him. hence the spiting bit earlier. grrr....*shakes fist some more* and i keep seing him and i don't want to. someone make hm go away PLEASE *begs*
okies i'm done ranting about nothingnes now....i'll go spam laura and emmah instead...muhahahahaha.....
and no doubt modify this this evening...
cause i d that a lot i notcied..
*thinks*
ja ne!
___
tsumetai yokaze ga me ni sasari
kudaranai kioku ga afure dasu
togatta serifu wo sora ni hanachi
chi no aji no nokoru tsuba wo haita
"minna shinjyae" tte kuchiguse wo
aitsu wa kokoro kara kanashinda
mamorou to shite kizutsukeru chikara de
nani wo te ni shite yuku?
I'm believing, this light I see
tashika na hikari yo
sakebidasu ore wo michibiite kure
tsuyosa dake wo shinjite kita hibi
munashisa wo katsu tabi ni shitta
chippoke na kokoro de warau kara
mou sukoshi tsuyogatte isasete kure
"hitori de ikiru" tte kuchiguse ni
aitsu wa sabishisou ni hohoenda
wakarou to shite tsuki hanasu chikara de
nani wo te ni shite yuku?
I'm believing, this light I see
kodoku na hikari yo
kuruidasu ore wo dakishimete kure
ore no naka no ichiban yowai kakera ga
ten no hate e ichiban tsuyoi inori wo hanatsu
ore no naka no ichiban yowai kakera ga
yami no saki e ichiban tsuyoi omoi wo hanatsu
kokoro wo hanatsu
hikari wo hanatsu
I'm believing...
I'm believing, this light I see
tashika na hi
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woot woot double woot