mood now-depreesed and depressed...
song now-i must be dreaming-evanescence
well, in breif, today was BY far the worst day i've had so far..
morale was really low between me, emmah and luara to the point i forced myself to going to the ford AGAIN and it was friggin bad enough that i'd already had to be walking on my own infront of A's car ealier (i don't mind normaly, but the weightloss issue makes it a bugger to walk smoothly so it's a really jerky walk atm and then i get really tense and paranoid et ceter and it sucks)
well, i'd just got hte the entrance to hte car park and there's tghis iddy bitty path that's easy to fall off and he came into he car park at not very slow speeds and again, becuase i was nearly on a road and it was a car, i looked t it agin, the same i do with any other car, but it seems like it lasts so much longer when i look at his car..and it's not.
i just woke up depressed this mornig and didn't want to see him AT ALL which is a first for me since yusualy i do wanna see him in a guilty way. not today.
i saw him three times today..and now i have a single fucking line from Demon Diary stuck in my head
`you know they say that if you come across a person three times in a day then your fates are tied together?`
well that's noonscence ltatantly..but hey, it now has my subconcious daydreaming away and just annoying the concious me.
i dunno why i can't get over him tbh..i've managed to get over any other friggin guy. i've tried focussing on bad points, hte fact he has a GF, the fact he's obviously devoted to here et ceter on hat line of thought, then the fact that if i don't see him the whole `out of sight out of mind` theory works..oh no, or if it does, i see him again. either in dreams or school or in his friggin car. grr. i give up. someone just...blind me wiil ya>> i can't take any more of this.
so i think that's all..i was gonna put a poem up..but i couldn't be bothered with writting it so i'll jjust give you a second does of depressing lyrics again
___
How can I pretend that I don't see
What you hide so carelessly?
I saw her bleed
You heard me breathe
And I froze inside myself
And turned away
I must be dreaming
We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justify you
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No I must be dreaming
Help you know I've got to tell someone
Tell them what I know you've done
I fear you but spoken fears can come true
We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justify you
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No I must be dreaming
Not what it seems
Not what you think
I must be dreaming
Just in my mind
Not in real life
I must be dreaming
well, i'll try and be more cheery tomorow TTFN xx
modit, yes, there's a modification to my depression TT.TT
wow...mum must think i'm stupid. mum:
`do you want to ring you at nine to remind you..?`
moi:
`I CAN REMEBER STUFF YA KNOW MUM`
alright so moving on from the war that just broke out...
i was reading emmah's post.
i heartily agree that a gay freind (guy) is a perfect ferind.
except wehn they have had five boyfreinds in one year and THEN come and ASK US FOR ADVCIE when we havn't even so much as successfully flirted with anoher guy. absolutely spiffing. really makes onse day brighter dosn't it? to have a GUY ask about tHEY'RE boyfreinds...
and we're GIRLS
thids life, Sod espaicl=ial,y TAKES hte FUCKING piss out of us i swear it.
right i'm gonna go cry in a corner now bwecuase that's all i ave left ot do tonight.
video didcated to emma who is now obsessed with elfen lied... >.>
