mood-
can things possably GET any worse?
song-
never meant to belong (bleach OSS 1)
Online Videos by Veoh.com
well...the only good thing from today is that i have till next friday to do my theory textiles coursework and i got to watch bleach in first period as supposes to waiting to now to watch it *thanks emmah for giving me link*
everything else has been impossably $hit.
i can't beleive how bad.
i dunno even why the hell i feel like this.
knowing my look the electricity'll go off again cause it's just my bloody luck.
my back hurts..it is that time of month again. FOR THE FOURTH BLOODY TIME IN A MONTH....girls will understand what i'mon abotu by that....
and i have jsut had a falling out wiht emmah. technicaly my fault cause i snapped at her..where as i could have done my usual nad never mentioned how i felt to her and got on with another day. but i've done htat for so many years now. it pisses me off. all i wanna do is get some freinds who'll value me for being...ME. not my act that everyone knows. the insane girl who dosn't care. she does care. a lot.
and what somone says to me know matter who they are means something to me.
so something a best mate to me means everything.
and she dosn't like somthnig i do..i won't say simply caudse not many poele do (it's not illegal) but yeah..she had a moan at me earlier saying it's a waste of time and not worth it. that's her opinion. that's fine. i appreciate that. she then went on to look away and say `you say you're ont addicted, but you want it, that's the same.`
it's bloody not.
i'll never get addicted to something simply because i hate fucking relying on anything for whatever reason.
i'm on bloody medication now and i hate it. it dosn't even work so i may as well just stop taking it.
i'm not weak.
the girl everyone sees is this clutzy idiot who falls over nothing and laughs at it.
yeah, i can laugh, simply because when i'm like that, it is who i am...but then, take away all the insanity and craziness i let take over, i do care.
when i'm not at college or i'm on my own-i don't fall over anythng and i can do things...
i feell ike a bloody scitz right now. two people sharing one body. and they're completely contradictory:
ones cam, quiet, strong and not clumsy,
the other's this clumsy idiot who dosnt care about anythnig.
why cna't i be fucking normal?? then no one would mona at me about petty things and i wouldn't be such an idiot and get down over said petty things and snipe at someone i lveo and loose her.
i just...really want to go to sleep and never wake up again cause i can't go on like this anymore.
there's only so long somoen can act for....right?? *sighs8
why am i not strong enough anymore?
oh and now my CBOX is fucked...anything else gonna go wrong for me??
and why the fuck is noen of my artwork loading up?
i'm just not gonna bother drawing now.
*sighs* sorry about this post..i just had to get everytghing out...i wanna kill something so bad right now...gods i even slamned my door i'm that pissed and i never do that o.O
great..and anohte of my mates still isn't talking to me.
am i really such a shit mate??
what the hell am i doing wrong?
well, bye *hugs everyone*
