Sunday, November 21, 2004

-.-
great. the percent on the art is going down. I work hard on these drawings but some people just can't see that. Thats the problem with MyOtaku, the rating/scoring thing is all messed up. It makes people feel bad once the percent starts going down on the work they really work hard on. So I might delete this site and find a different site to join where they don't have this rating system.
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I have another new art up. I'm still not in that great of mood. My mom is sending my dog to the pound for thanxgiving. so yea.
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Saturday, November 20, 2004

new art
2 new art is up. I'm still not in to good of a mood either. So thats why they kind a look depressing.
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edgar allan poe - the raven
you know for some reason my friends and family has been getting e-mails saying mean crap to them and they've been saying it was me who did it. OK WHO EVER THE FUCKIN BITCH'S/BASTARDS OUT THERE WHO ARE TRYING TO IMPERSONATE ME, GOD DAMN IT STOP!!!!!!!!!! ok since i've been feeling really out of it lately, here's poe's poem, the raven. i chose this one because it kind of sounds like me right now.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."


Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,
Nameless here forevermore.


And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
" 'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This it is, and nothing more."


Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened wide the door;---
Darkness there, and nothing more.


Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
Lenore?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
"Lenore!" Merely this, and nothing more.


Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window lattice.
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
" 'Tis the wind, and nothing more."


Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door.
Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.


Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore.
Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore."
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."


Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."


But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."


Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,---
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never---nevermore."


But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!


Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath
Sent thee respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"


"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--
On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:
Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--tell me--tell me I implore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."


"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore--
Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore---
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."


"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."


And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming.
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted---nevermore!
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good & bad news
lets start with the all popular good news first, shall we. I have to things to say. One, Raykour finally updated her novel on her site after 2 weeks. Good job Raykour. Second, if you all had read my personals, it says that I was nominated best poet of 2004. Well theres more to that. Since i was nominated, the contest I entered has succesfully stated out that all the top 200 poets out of 5000 (I was one of the top 200), will get their work published which the publishing is supposed to take place january. Thats not all, who ever wins the finals will recieve $3500 in prizes. So my parents, being the kind loving god i hate them parents that they are, has let me enter the finals. So I can't acually wait to see my work published. ^^
Bad news. I might be deleting my site on the otaku. No one really appreciates me around here NEways so why should I stay when I'm just gonna be hated. But this is still a thought in progress. So I might delete, might not. and for some reason no one really appreciates the style of art that I work with. The only people who acually like it are my friends, and some of my cousins. Thats all. And i REALLY don't want to have to get used to another style AGAIN! So i'll decide to delete it later. And I'm not loved anywhere I go anyways. In fact I'm not even liked. only by the vry few friends I have, and cousins. thats all.
so theres the good and bad news.
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Friday, November 19, 2004

For some reason I'm starting to get the feeling that no one really likes me. I mean I don't mind not being not liked, I've been hated all my life. But now it's really bugging me. Evry1 has been ignoring me. Maybe not evry1 but most people. people criticize anything I do or draw. It just feels weird. In my mind I've been alone all the time. I might be surrounded by tons of people but Theres still that feeling of loneliness. Like no one is really there. You know what I mean? But for now lets get off the subject.
Latin was fun. we watched part of this really funny movie that is supposed to take place in ancient pompei, italy B4 Vesuvius exploded and killed every1 cept Quintus and Clemens. (ppl from the book we're getting this from). But yes the movie is funny. Course it was made in the 60's but still funny.
Nothing really special happened 2day. So I don't have much to say. Only that I'll be leaving in about 10-20 min to go see the play at school. Some friends of mine are in it and I promised I would see it. So yea I'll be seeing it soon.
Ja Ne.
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Thursday, November 18, 2004

well its up
I just added the 2 colored versions of Posessed and Shorties. They turned out better than I thought they would but who can say. My black prisma wasn't really working with me when I colored em, as you can see. Well Shitoyaka and I are thinking about creating our own little anime series, but that might take awhile. We're deffinately have the help of friends but the more the marrier. Its only gonna be a mini series. No big deal. But still gonna take awile. Thats all i'm gonna say right now.
Ja Ne.
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stero Types
ok why do i keep thinking 2day is friday? Its been like this all day. and ever1 else is thinking the same thing. Did sometime in history we miss a day or something? O well.
Well Shitoyaka wasn't at school today to give me anything she wanted me to scan. thanx a lot shitoyaka leaving me alone in newspaper with the preps. hmph... anyways we have found out some more knowledge at Regis. ok this is from the preps point of veiw. I'll do it from 2 diff angles. Preps and ours. Newayz from the preps POV there are three types of people at Regis girls division. They concider my group, freaks because we're into differents cultures like the Japanese and we love anime so much. Lola's (friend from Chorus) group the gothic lesbian group(NOT TRUE). and themselves as the "cool" crowd... Ok can you say stupid and imature? And here is our POV on the girls at regis. For us theres only two types of people. The preps who we concider another species and they don't have the knowlege capcity to uptain any sort of knowlege what so ever except how they look, the word "like" and boys. Thats it. And the group who doesn't care shit what other people think about us because its been proven that the people who don't care what other people think, succeed with more in life and get higher paying jobs. The people who think to highly of themselves don't do as well because all they're thinking is what to wear and how they look to get boys to notice you.... Thats what our POV's think. I know its stereotyping but I had to say it. But seriously, I got so pissed at this one prep today for calling us freaks and we shouldn't even exist. I wanted to hurt her right then and there for saying that but the teacher was standing right there and she didn't do anything about it. god i can't stand that. but I'm better now because I've been known as a freak for the past 9 yrs (i in 9th grade) so it really doesn't bother me that much. but the part about that we shouldn't exist really pissed me off. ok lets move on.
Lets see, I have most of the coloring done on the possesed pic and the shorties one. I decided to color em myself w/ the prisma colored pencils I have since I haven't used em at all for awhile. and to my surprise they acually turned out better than I expected. I might scan em in tonight, not sure. but yes expect an update soon or over the week end for sure.
Ja Ne.
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

bored
yes I am bored right now. (if you haven't already guessed). and I have no one to talk to. Raykour, don't know where she is. Kaze Shi, had to get offline cuz of aunt yelling. And everyone else, NO WHERE TO BE FOUND! Shitoyaka should've called by now. Mock trial got done about half an hour to an hour ago. So she should be home by now. *sigh*
NEways. I'm working on this new novel (lost intrest in the past 2 novels I started) and I need a favor. Should I do it in the main characters POV or in third person? or perhaps both? because I could do that for certain chapters. But yes. This novel is mainly about a war that has been raging on for more than 900 years and takes place sometime in the future. Sci-Fi/fantasy. If you would like to read some of the first draft, feel free to e-mail or PM me and I'll send it. I really would like some feedback because I'm really hoping to get this one published. I really have A LOT of intrest in this one. thanx.
*sigh* Fencing was canceled today so I went home right after school. But the part I don't like is that we don't have fencing practice for the next 2 weeks. One the coach won't be there, two because of Thanksgiving. So my friends and I decided that we're gonna go to the weight room (well I am) to get some excercise since we won't have it for two weeks and Shitoyaka and I don't have gym this year. So excercise is good. yup. even though I'm thin, don't want to become obiece or become anerexic, i'm about average, Its still good to get at least half an hour to an hour of excercise and least 3 times a week. but yes. I'm normal.
Yay! 2 hour late start tomorrow! I can work on some homework and my friends and I are gonna go 2 Village Inn 4 breakfast. Too bad that Borders doesn't open til later or we would be going there. But o well.
Ja Ne.
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Monday, November 15, 2004

^^
^^ I just recently (if you call october recently) heard this one German Goth band called E Nomine. They're really good and i like the song Mitternacht (midnight in german) because it also has latin in it so I can make some of it out. But they're really good. Course if you translate most of the lyrics, talks about death. BUT ITS COOL! I like it. Its nice to hear differen't culture music and see whats out there.
I swear I am gonna shave my dog. I was wearing black one day and when I got home my dog turned it all white. She is sheading like hell and her hair is everywhere. But I still love. As soon as I get a pic of her I'll post her up. She's so Kawaii. ^^ She Border Collie purebread. ^^
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