Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Said it once and I know I will say it again,
You have a gift as bright as that sun,through a shine,
To stand in the shadows that you cast only offence,
Can't walk this explicit life like you were blind
Waited for You- John Butler Trio

So.... I wasnt to happy with the last theme I did and decided that seeing as I lack any creative urge at the moement I will instead change it to straight color... So now its purple and green... I found something I want to do a theme off... but I need to wait till I get back home and get my photoshop back... so... till I fix it... enjoy... I know its nothing near what I usually do...

Back on last Friday I was getting all pack to go down to C-town... as Im packing I get a message from Tiga asking if Im alive.... For a quick recap of the past two weeks.
Week 1: Otafest
Wasnt home... was away... being social... with other people..... so nah...

Week 2: Work/ sleep
Did exactly that... worked and slept.... went out with Stacie once... visitied Tiga that same day.... she was grumpy... and not friendly.... and we didnt stay long...

So anyway... back to the story... She sends a few nice messages... she won an Ipod from work (whoop dee do.... I pefer my Lyra), then starts asking what my plans are... Remember I was suppose to go camping but ditched that for Zanorich and computer access...

So it goes ((More or less... exact quotes in the little "" signs))
Tiga: what are you doing the tommorow
Sita: going to be in C-town
Tiga: When are you leaving
Sita: In about an hour (( as yes... I left packing that late))
Tiga: oh I see... have fun.
Sita: Will do.. you have fun camping
Tiga:"I guess"
Sita: Ok ((thinking the conversation is more or less dead))
Tiga: "Maybe when you get back you will visit for more than 2 min"
Sita: You seemed tired when we visited...
Tiga: " I was but you havent even called me. And I know you may say that I dont call you but you get mad when I do"
*read it as "but I do when Im mad"
Sita: But thats the only time you call :(
Tiga: "You never had anytime in the last 2 and a half weeks to call me. Hell I didnt even know you were going to c-town"
Sita((Thinking to myself: ummm... perhaps listening would be a nice habit to pick up as I know I've told you a few times I was going down to C-town.)) I've been busy with work and catching up on sleep this last week and was in c-town the week before busy with other things.
Tiga: lets just say you let me know your alive and leave it at that.
Sita: ok. Im alive.

Tried to start a somewhat normal conversation after that but didnt get to many more replies...

Pretty much been trying to stay out of contact with her and Dory since then as I dont want the aggravation of having to deal with it and defend myself when I want to spend time with other people besides them... Started getting somewhat annoying and bothersome messages from Dorian the other day that nearly pushed me to breaking right down....

To top off how the mood has been developing... I've felt depressed and easily aggravated all day long, getting more and more closed up as the hours go....

Long story short... Sita wants alone time.... She doesnt want to have to explain why shes so bitchy... she doesnt want to explain her mood... she just wants people to back a step or two up and let her be....

On a compelty different topic.... Yes I lack modivation,Heero... But my modivation tends to take 3 month vacations on me.... So I guess it will be back eventually...
Sita
Comments (5) | Permalink

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

And this is your ghost that kneels before me
Razors on her tongue, a body full of oxygen
It wont be the last time she'll ignore me
The thinning of my skin, without the strength to go
The winter's setting in, to cover you in snow
Ruthless-Something Corporate

*shrugs* update for the hell of an update....

Its nice when people visit... but.... really... I enjoy REFLECTIVE comments.... that show you read the post.... Is that so much to ask?
Sita
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, June 5, 2006

The world I love
The tears I've dropped
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you
Cant Stop- Red Hot Chili Peppers

Right-o... First off.... Heres to not being hung over.... And why the hell would anyone say they were sorry for me being drunk... I had an awesome time getting there...

Good times, good friends, good drinks and I got to play pool.... I remember the important stuff and Im happy!

Not much to report though really... Im not going to go in depth cause meh... It was a night of good stuff... and today we sat around and watched Those Who Hunt Elves... Very good show... very funny... completly pointless... but very funny.... anyway... Im done... still thinking and stuff despite the good times... so yay for non-required headaches
Sita
Comments (3) | Permalink

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Shouldnt be doing this.. but me =drunk.... playing games.... being bad... fuck.... Sira=go to hell...YAY!!
Sita
Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, June 2, 2006

Don't you see what she done to me.
I was running blind, but now I can be.
If there's just one sign, hell you know I can see.
Girl I'm meant for you, you are meant for me.
Bound to Ramble- John Butler Trio

First off.... Con... are you missing Howee on you list too? Cause I just noticed he isnt there.... I never claimed to be observant....

Second off... Yesterdays post was a wonderful walk into the random combined with a bit of cynical me-ness... I havent done that in a long time... Its a nice change...

Buuuut.... I welcome you all back to the world of blagh concerning my posts... Im tired.... been thinking about a few things.... and I just plain dont have any funny right now... Im worried about a few people and ticked at a few others.... so nothing is really new.... Im going out of town for the week again... This was suppose to be the week I went camping/"partying" with Tiga a nd Dory... but I figure NOT having to explain why there are two dead bodies to the police is better than HAVING to explain the two dead bodies to the police... So.... In the end Ill proabably be around less on the site as I am during a normal week... but likely on MSN a bit more... I know there are a few nights planned to throw me on a comp to keep me busy while the gamers stay happy.... so I'll need something to keep me busy before I decided to get whiney... In any case... keep happy all and dont do anything you might get caught and arrested for...
Sita
Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Trickle of a chuckle as laughter starts to pour
Bells begin to jingle the trickles now a roar
Pan floutist, cloven dancer
The mischief has begun
Laugh with me if it's funny, laugh at me if it's fun
And I don't know St. Peter but I know he believes
There's a place in heaven for Jesters, Dreamers & Thieves
Jesters, Dreams & Thieves- Edwin McCain

I think its really a matter of "When it rains it pours" concerning my dreams... I had another weird one involving Jurassic park type situations and stuff.... I've more or less forgotten most of it... I just remember parts that I know I've dreamed about before... they tend to fall in patters of repetativness...

Anyway... Funny story ((if you find other people's misery funny...))... My city just passed a by-law that makes smoking more or less illegal unless its outside or inside your own house/car/bubble... So this makes the smoke room at work no longer existant... Funny part is about 60% of the crew smokes... so anyway... they arent allowed to smoke inside anymore.... which means that the superviser has to let them out each break to go puff puff on the good old cancer stick... anyway.... I was thinking at one point during the night.... what if we were attacked by killer aliens or something ((This is comming from a person who usually considers how she would react if attacked by zombies/ wearwolves/ ninjas/ hordes or bored people who had nothing better to do than invade a Zellers to attack the night crew...))... So... Im thinking of a good place to hide the attack out... cause Im lazy like that and I dont think I could take on a whole group of killer creatures on my own... I may be able to lift a pallet almost over my head ((when I try.... but serioulsy.... why the hell would I do that?)) but I can not.... I repeat... CAN NOT kill a group of killer aliens with my hands ((I swear Zanorich... if I get a killer robot from Venus joke....)) nor safety knife.... Im on my last good blade.... thats not going to do any damage what so ever... SO ANYWAY!! Im thinking of good places to hide in the store... There is this one really cool corner when the shelves are wide enough I could sit in the corner and watch all the havoc and still be hidden propperly behind one of those security mirrors... but.... that would involve getting a ladder and stuff.... then theres in the pharmacy cage thing.... I doubt killer aliens could break through one of those security chain mesh screens they put up..... even with the lazer guns and such..... So I come to the conclusion that if forced to hide in the store as oppose to run away screaming down the road... the best place to hide would be in the cardboard compactor..... Unless they find me.... and turn on the compactor... in which case I would be a very VERY flat Sita....

In the end.... the moral of the story and the point of this whole random post...



Have a good one all... Im happy I never took up the puff puff on the cancer stick....
Sita
Comments (3) | Permalink

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'll sell my soul, just for you.
But nothing seems to be good enough.
I might be the longer road,
but I'd make it worth your while.
Invisible- Danko Jones

Cant wait till they release their new album... which Im going to assume is going to be in the next few months as the radio just played the first song released Sunday night...

Anyway... I had a salad, Con... is that ok? It was good... had chicken and oranges and amazingly enough also some spinach... and I ate it all.... I feel like I have matured to the point where Im not as picky as I once was.... which makes me a bit sad as I like making stupid excuses for not eating stuff I dont like... Cause Im childish like that.... cause it makes me happy... generally...

AndI got nothing else to babble about.... I could pick a random topic and start... but Im kinda in a not good mood and that would just turn into one of those depressing rants gone bad... Have a good one all...
Sita
Comments (6) | Permalink

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Why do I deserve such a visit
From the one I thought I'd never meet.
Beyond my greatest expectations.
You exceeded everything.
Seeing Angels-John Butler Trio

I dont see myself swearing at you, Con. You dont deserve that... I wouldnt do it. And Ill hopefully talk to you a bit Friday night-ish... Depends what bus I take and if I can get on the comp and all that fun stuff.... otherwise.... I'm really not sure when Im going to be on again...

It saddens me that four months in advance Im trying to make rough birthday plans... In reality I guess I should aim for the sitting at home alone thing.... People seem to be out to spite my plans.... so chances are thats the best way to get people to show up... BTW... Con.... You are invited to what ever happens... Provided something actually does happen.... but as I plan to sit at home alone... Chances are good that this will be the one time that people dont fuck with the pre-arranged plans.

I had an odd dream.... Involved travelling to my parents home on a greyhound bus with Zanorich... Then ehhhh... Ramses might have been there for some odd reason as a vampire... Then I was a demon type thing and there was some wierd Inuyasha undertone to the whole thing where I got off the bus and my little sister was acting more like Shippo than she usually does... Something about some witch type woman (who reminded me a bit of one of my aunts) bringing wind kites which were also musical instruments that provided safety or something... all I remember of that particular part was pretty colors... just a really weird dream... I think I dream in anime.... *shivers*... What worries me more is I remember the part with Ramses the best...

Im just going to stop thinking for a while... Thinking = owww... and Im tired of the owww for a while... seems like Im always tired lately...
Sita
Comments (4) | Permalink

Monday, May 29, 2006

Once I had a friend that I could count on
Times of need are not enough
Once I found a love I had to know
Now we might know each other just too well
Once I saw a dream I had to chase it
Dreams quickly turn to reality
Now let me close my eyes
Because I don't want to see anything anymore
I'll Be Waiting- Offspring

By "I'll be around" What do you mean, Con? Cause Im going to be back down in C-town Saturday and were planning a night out to the bar... your more than welcome to join us and we'll have a special spot for you if you can come. Your going to have to teach us how to play Sociables though.... I still havent moved out of my box and I dont know about the others.

ANYWAY... Went out to that work party Saturday night.... Had an awesome time but drank more than I've had in a long time... That plus being alone plus thinking ((a proven way to depress yourself)) lead to a slight feeling of depression... I think Con is right... You just have to stay in the happy zone... This was all after the party of course... went to sleep fairly early... leading to a messed up sleep schedual again...

The highlight of the day was going shopping with Stacie... She had me try on a skirt *Slight shudder*. It looked nice... so I bought it.... I now own a skirt.... That I bought with my own money... It took me an hour to realize what had happened... Of course... lacking actual foot wear that would go with a skirt I had to buy shoes ((Only have a pair of boots and four pairs of runners... three of which I dont wear anymore)) Persoanlly I think the skirt goes well with the boots..... but I also claim no taste in style.... But seriously... they're both black.... that means they match.... right?

yeah... thats my big news... I bought clothing... Yay me... Im tired... I think I'll sleep now....
Sita
Comments (2) | Permalink

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Let's get drunk
You can drive us to the harbor
Wish upon a star but
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space
Falling from the landscape
Exploding in the face of God

Let's get crazy,
Talk about our big plans
Places that you're going
Places that I haven't been
Build my walls up
Concrete castle
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah

Yeah
Yeah

But I needed some echo in the emptiness
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down

Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
Tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone
Feel your heartbeat, break within your chest now
Try to get some rest now, sleep's not coming easy for a while, child

Child, yeah

But I needed some echo in the emptiness
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down
Down, down
Down, down

But I needed some, echo in the emptiness
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down
Down- Something Corporate

I seriously think Im a depressed drunk... that and too much is on my mind to really be happy...
Sita
Comments (3) | Permalink