Sunday, April 30, 2006

You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
I used to waste my time on
Waste my time on
Waste my time dreaming of being alive
(now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Of All The Gin Joints In All The World- Fall Out Boy

*snickers* After reading yesterdays post over... I think I hit the one drink a bit hard....

So from the top... Pretty much decided Friday morning I wasnt going to sleep much... Had stuff to do... Things I wanted to get done... In the end I spent a good portion of the morning on the comp... Got to talk to Heero for a good 5 hours so that just made the day start out pretty damn good... Also got to talk to Afro, Zanorich.... was in a group chat with Zanorich and a few of his friends.... That was quite fun XD. Kinda reached the point where I decided that a nap wouldnt be the worst thing I could possibly do and had about a 4 hour nap or so... woke up and got ready for the concert... The doors opened at 7 so I wanted to make sure I was ready. Tiga was suppose to pick me up from the bank at 6:30 ish and we were going to go to Mc.D's for food as we were hungry.... In the end she met me at Mc.D's around 6:50 cause Dorian got out on his break late... I got a little irked at that... But... I kinda figure there isnt a point to being over upset about it as after a bit of reflection I kinda decided Im just a fill in for everyone here and they only pay attention to me when they either lack plans and want something to do or their original plans fall through... I would be more angered over that... But I'm kinda moving into loner mode again anyway. So it just fits into my plans to hide in my room. ANYWAY...

Got to the bar at about 7:10 and stood in line till 8... Im guessing when they said the doors opened at 7 they actually ment 8... at least it was nice outside... We finally got in and kinda wandered around a bit and stood in dark corners waiting for the show to start. Found the merchandice table and bought T-shirts. I got one that says Swollen Members and another from Battle Axe Records. Both very nice and I think worth the money. Hung out in the corner for a bit longer and watched the roadies set up some equiptment on the stage and stuff...Eventually they packed out a screen and Tiga and I moved up by the stage, figuring the show was going to start soon... So.... we set up "camp" in one corner of the pit...

^thats sadly a pretty damn accurate picture with size and all...^
They played a DVD that you could buy for 20 bucks at the merch table and we kinda just hung out waiting for the real show to start. In the end it was about 9 or 9:30 by the time they finally started....

In total there was three groups... The first one is a new group who just got a recording contract... I kinda neglected to catch the name... ^.^;... They were ok... The music was decent but they didnt really get into their own act... They just didnt have the energy that you woud expect.... Like I said... they were ok... But meh... Between each act there was about a 45 to hour intermission... No bloody clue why it was so long but thats how it all ended up happening.... The club DJ was having fun... Tiga got a bit pissed after the second group because of the long intermission... Although there wasnt much we could do about it.....

The second group was called District 5 and I believe they are releasing an album in the near future... Considering they only performed for about half an hour it was an awesome performance.... They were moving around the stage and getting the crowd worked up and stuff... Something the first group didnt do.... They were really good... I saw a few of the members wandering around the club after their performance and I made a point to go up and talk to them quickly...

Another hour long intermission later... I think Tiga was almost ready to walk out with out actaully seeing Swollen Members who we went to see in the first place... I want to point out the whole time we held our spot at the front of the pit... We didnt move the whole time..... It was our corner... The minute Swollen Members hit the stage it was like hell broke loose.

This group knows how to perform.... The minute they hit the stage they jumped up onto the barrier that was set up to keep the crowd back from the stage.

^Left to right. Madchild, Prevail and Rob the Viking^
((Note for any stalkers... I live about 10 blocks south of where the concert was... So now you know where Im at))
Prevail and Madchild were right up on the barrier, jumping around and getting the crowd worked up... Not that it needed to be worked up..... Half the crowd pushed into the pit and it turned into a mosh pit almost immediatly. The security guards had to keep pushing the barrier up so it didnt tip over... Which had to have been hard with 100 some odd people pushing up against it. Prevail and Madchild both jumped into the crowd once or twice and started crowd surfing.

The whole thing was simply amazing.... I havent been in that situation before and I learnt how easy it is to be sucked into the group. Everyone was jumping and screaming and I ended up jammed into the corner where Tiga had been originally standing. She ended up behind me and we were both squished into the corner with everyone pressing up to the front. A few times I was slightly scared of passing out due to the heat, difficulty in breathing, lack of sleep.... A couple of factors could have actually driven me to pass out.... I didnt.... but did feel faint once or twice... On the second last song or so I looked back at Tiga and told her we should get out... We managed to get out fairly quickly since everyone was trying to push in more in the middle.... That would be where I got that drink I mentioned before... I think drinking it quickly was the contributing factor of it hitting me so hard.... Saw the few guys from District 5 at that point too and talked to them... Watched the last song from the side lines... Didnt really want to press back into the mosh pit on the last song....

I kinda wanted to stick around for a bit... I greatly enjoyed the concert and always enjoy going out to the clubs and hearing the music and such.... It just gives me this feeling of not being dead... I enjoy the atmosphere and the excitment and I hardly get out as it is... I think next time I go to something like this Im going alone just so I can leave in my own good time.... Tiga dragged me out before the last song was even done because she wanted to see Dorain..... looking back.... I should have just walked home and stayed longer... Ran into the DJ from District 5.... Can you tell I liked these guys?.... I had seen him quickly just after getting my drink and had talked to him quickly but I took the time to talk to him again quickly before I was dragged out.... Got a hug which made me overly happy just because :P... Im still a bit buzzed from the entier thing... I loved it.... Got home and talked to Zanorich for a while... got him to call me cause I was talking alot faster than I was typing.... I think he told me to breath about 5 times.... Then sent me to bed.... *grumbles* stupid.... Passed out in bed from exahustion....

I kinda want to refelect over the whole thing and how it made me feel... Like I've said... I dont think I've been that hyper in a really really long time... I cant even remember the last time I was that excited... I think I need to get out of the house more often...
Sita
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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Lyrics 1
The hunter and the hunted, the colonizing and savages
The only challenge is, did they bring enough to dirt to bury us?
Be aware, I hunt with the god as a cerabus
Where we're going, don't stress, there'll be plenty of time to rest
Lady Venom- Swollen Members

Lyrics 2
Rain and shine sleet and snow
Couldn't stop the way we flow
Welcome to my miracle
And I'm digging on your lyrical
Your melody is my remedy
Energy- Natalie ft Baby Bash

I think today is the best day I've had in forever... but.... Zanorichrich is sending to bed... casue I think Im a bit intoxicated and I can remembed what I said three minutes ago... SO I will talk about the thingy tommmorow...
Sita

Sita=meish..
Blue Jester= Zanorich

Sita: Always on my mind... says:
you.... the.... I..... I think I am in love with Pervail.....
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
lmao!!! Good concert then?
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
FUCK YES!!!! I TOUCHED THEM!! I.... T... O... U.. C...H...E....D T... H...E...M
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
o.0
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I...
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
T
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
O
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
U
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
C
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
H
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
E
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
D
Sita: Always on my mind... says:


Sita: Always on my mind... says:
T
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
H
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
E
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
M
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I was close enough to touch them.... Prevail held my hand..... I think I got Madchilds sweat on me... I hugged a DJ..... I want to be a groupie....
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
*blink* wow, does sound like a good one! XD
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
Hoorays for yous!!!
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
lol.. sorry... Im psyced... Err... Fuck spelling
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
ANgaehfgh'adhfga

Sita: Always on my mind... says:
errr... *passes out*
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
*chuckles and covers with blanket*
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
I'm glad you had so much fun, wish I could have been there.
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
Me too... Although with the whole being high on bass and overall mob mentalitly....(edit)
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
o .0
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
SOME concert
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
you heard me.... I get different in those situations... Im alot more out going.. I had one shot of meh and that was it but I went up to pretty much the whole group of a group of guys called District 5 and told them they rocked with out a thought.... Then tried to get in the DJs pants.... well... not really.... just a hug ^.^
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
LOL
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
He kissed my hand....
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
yay?
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I was surprised...
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
lol
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
*so happy that you is!*
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I saw him and he wasnt dressed fancy or in a particular standy out way.... So I went up and asked him if he was the DJ and he said yes and I told him he was awesome then he did the little pound it thing and I pounded it.... then I saw him as we walked out a few minutes later and I told him he was awesome again and he held out his hand and I took it for a moment and he kissed it and I gave him a hu
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
hug*
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
*smiles* awesomeness
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
*hugs tight and dances around*
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
lol
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
: D you even sound like you're bouncing off the walls on MSN!
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I AM!!!
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
It was amazing.. I was at the VERY front almost the whole time
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
*shakes head* I just don't know what to say ^_^
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
Neither do I..... I dont think I've been this hyper in a long time... I cant hear barley due to the loud music... I was scared I was going to have breathing issues at the concert due to the hyperness..... Im.... Im
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
!!!!
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
... *slightly fears for his life!* XD
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
*figures she should finf that DJ*
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
oh?
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
well if your afraid.. he didnt seem to worried...
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
XD LOL
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
ijoke ijoke, ikid ikid?
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I cant explain how hyped it made me!!!
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
rofl
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
AGABABABABABABABA
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I got two T-shirts too..... A girl one and a guy one..
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
<_< *wish I could get to RD*
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
yeah?
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
yeshsir....
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
Ime wearing one right now
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
O RLY?
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
Yessir.... I love it
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
I dont think Ill wash my right hand for a while..
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
XD
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
You dont understand... I
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
T
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
O
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
U
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
C
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
H
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
E
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
D
Sita: Always on my mind... says:


Sita: Always on my mind... says:
T
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
H
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
E
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
M
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
TOUCHED THEM!!
Blue Jester : "Chuck Norris doean't sleep. He WAITS." says:
AHHHHH!!!
Sita: Always on my mind... says:
thats like you touching... errrrr.... I dunno!!! my brain is fried... i only had one drink.... but drank it in about 3 minutes..... I think Im a touch drunk..
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Friday, April 28, 2006

Ooh… sometimes I’m wildin’ out
Set the building on fire then you fallin’ out
And then… we can turn it into a block party
And get some drinks on while you call the cops on me
Block Party- Swollen Members

1 nap.... if Im lucky... which Im not.... so.... 13 hours and 17 minutes...

HAHAHAHA... I won.... Being stupidly stubborn is a talent I dont usually use.... But I won...

Tiga sent the first Text Message
^.^

Its usually an indication your not quite happy with your life when you spend the WHOLE work day plotting how to dissapear....

Usually I change mental subjects at some point... but not tonight... I just need that damn tax return and Im half way to where ever I want to be....

Is it bad I kinda want to set up a tent by the mail box?

Hopefully I will be on MSN at some point tonight.... The doors to the concert open at 7 and Im thinking the whole thing will be over by 10:30 or 11ish.....

Cant promise I'll be sober..... but Ill be on...
^.^

Oooo.... on the note of the concert... first off.... Perhaps the reason why Im so hyped to go to it..... Yes I quite enjoy the music produced by Swollen Members... but also this will only be the third concert I've seen.... The other two were picked by my parents.... errrrr..... The Eagles were pretty good.... Im not even going to say what the other one was..... But that lack of "young people" at either of them make me feel a bit odd... *ponders*

And another note.... So Dory got the two free tickets for Tiga and I... Tiga bought two more as her cousin and brother were suppose to come down from E-Town to see the show..... They both decided to ditch out AFTER Tiga bought the tickets.... So now we have two extra tickets and no one to use them on as we're the only ones REALLY interested in the show and the only other people we could think of to invite have to work and cant get the time off on such short notice.... all I can say to that is *facepalm*

Have a good one.... Hopefully talk to a few of you later tonight.
^.^
Sita
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Thursday, April 27, 2006

I got anger and confusion standing right beside me
That’s why when I’m alone at home I’m not lonely
Please do not drop by do not phone me
Might be crazy but at least I’m not home
Dont Know Why- Swollen Members

1 Day/ 2 Sleeps.... well.. for me anyway
=^-^=

Dory is trying to straighten things out...
I'm having trouble deciding whether I should be stubborn and wait till she says some form of an apology or if I should just let it go and apologize for snapping.

I would prefer to NOT be in stupid fights and its just getting on my nerves at this point...

In other news I have about ten million different thoughts running through my head, all involving questions that I dont have the answers to and Im tired.

Sometimes I hate being the kind of person I am....
Sita
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Light your shit up, get up and move
You bring the fire, I got mine too
Plus, we got nothin' to prove
We're gonna burn it down when we're steppin' thru
Burn it Down- Swollen Members

2 Days and counting....
Seehere, Al.

I had an odd dream... It involved a spider crawling over my face.... Im not a huge fan of spiders..... But it talked..... so I let it be... like I said.... Odd......

So.... I know for sure Tiga is pissed at me... Its kinda funny cause all I did was finally snap and tell her I was tired of hearing her complain about Dorian all the time.... Few days later she started doing the "My boy friend is horrible" thing again.... Bugging me when I was working on stuff... It bugged me... I figured the best way to make her shut up about it was threaten to ask Dorian straight out if he actually hated Tiga or not... ((Thats what she said he felt about her.... I think it was because he had to work or something... SEE HOW STUPID THESE THINGS ARE?!!))... She told me to do it if I felt it was necessary... which I realize is female code for "please dont"... But I was annoyed and tired and did it anyway... I got a call an hour or so later. She asked me why I did it and I told her I "felt it necessary" to ask him how he felt. She said something along the lines of I wasnt suppose to do that because she was having a pity party..... Its at this point I snapped and said I didnt enjoy the pity parties and that she could hold them with out inviting me.

Annnnnd since then shes been ticked at me... Invited her and Dory out to a movie Friday night and she came at me with a slightly bitchy tone because it was new release day at the theater, we were not going to get into the movie we wanted to see on time, and she had the people at work close early so she could be on time. From the way she talked to me I felt like she was blaming me for all of it. I wasn't really in the mood to have her talking to me in the particular tone that indicated she didnt want to see me. Just the whole feeling of how she was acting toward me made me react in a negative bitchy way.

I think this can all be traced back to the fact that Im not willing to humor her complaints anymore...

So why the fuck is it all my fault?
*headwalls for a while*
Sita

P.S Im prolly just going to add this to all posts as Heero doesnt check in that often... But this is the only way I can talk to him right now-ish *is paranoid due to personal reasons*

Heero, Im working a night job now so I'm not on MSN at night all that often anymore. You can IM me on my phone though and Ill try to get in contact with you ASAP. Miss you....
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I'm a razor blade the face it turn cross the line
And when it comes to path don't cross mine
It's strange though, devil with the face of an angel
Braveheart in battle, still chase rainbow
Poker Face- Swollen Members Ft. Buc Fifty

3 days and counting
=^-^=

So I only started counting now.... I had other things to deal with....

I find it slightly funny..... I forget to turn my MSN off and I come home to about 6 message windows blinking on the bottom....

Zanorich and I decided I have the memory of a gold fish... which is possible as I spent quite alot of time staring blankly at odd objects and finishing sentences with "I forgot"

First day back to work in almost a week.... I kinda neglected to call in on the days I was "ill".... Errrr... S'all good though... I came back... Some people take breaks like that and dont come back.

I had other things I wanted to talk about but like I said.... memory of a gold fish... that and Im tired..... I need a good days worth of sleep to catch up on what I missed.... will talk about stuff later....
Sita
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Monday, April 24, 2006

And you don't care
Your face is on a billboard
And you're everywhere
You don't care much for interviews
Your Gone- Something Corporate

I really dont know...
Sita
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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Get your cup, fill it up, sober don't appeal to us
If you're broke do what you can, that alone is still enough
Help us out, if you're rich, cuz we fixna pitch a bitch
Just stop by the store and grab a case of that and six of this
Back In The Mud- Bubba Sparxxx

So... I've decided some aspect of life has it out for my sanity and mental/emotional well being.

I thought I might get at least a small amount of time to be happy and not have to worry about how things would turn out or who I might possibly, inadvertantly hurt through my own actions.

There are certain indivuduals in my life, who no matter what they do... They have to push me very far before I reach the point where I wont forgive them. Some people I just cant get angry at to any extent. That or I quickly forgive them.

Possibly not the best way to live... But I think we all have people in our lives who fill those roles. They endear themselves to you in some manner and you are not willing to let go, just because you enjoy there company so much when things are going well.

Ramses is back.
Hes one of those kind of people.
Im not even sure what about him in particular makes him so important to me... But one of the last things I would want to do is hurt him.


Like I said... I think some aspect of life hates me.
Sita
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

Oye Loca! Ven pa’ca! Come here!
Toma- Pitbull

So.... I speak english.... I could get those translated.... *looks at the lyrics* .... Buuuuut.... Im lazy and I dont wanna and I know enough of the english content of the song to skip posting any more of the spanish content. XP

So.... We all know I lie.... and if we dont we still need to learn..... I love this place and the people to much to stay away for to long..... and Im just posting quickly for the sake of posting and all that.

Zanorich came up early and I kinda sorta might have been... *cough cough* to sick to go to work..... We all know how that works.....

So the upside is I have the weekend off... Dory managed to pull two free tickets to Swollen Members though his "connections" at work..... *cough*... ehhh... I'm just holding the tickets... I have no connections to these.... "connections".... anyway.... Dory cant go as he works so Tiga and I are going for free... minus drink costs.... But meh....

Im feeling alot better since the last post but Im closer to killing certain associates than usual.... I hate when people snap at you and your not allowed to get at least a bit defencive (Zanorich: 'defensive' ;) .... Sita: Go to hell.... My site, My spelling...) ..... Zanorich is being an ass.... I'll bitch later.... Must bug him to get an answer.... ciao!
Sita

P.S. Ummmmm... Im not getting to any sites........ sorry!!
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Said it once and I know I will say it again,
You have a gift as bright as that sun,through a shine,
To stand in the shadows that you cast only offence,
Can't walk this explicit life like you were blind,
Waited For You- John Butler Trio

I want to say I miss my family. That would be a lie. I think my parents think Im on drugs. Or something. I miss my sisters. They like me at least...

Im not one for being completly alone and seperated from the world. I have my group of friends. I attempt to be nice to others and not overly offencive. But at times I really just want to be alone. I have the set few people that are allowed to bug me and other than that I take care of myself and I dont bother anyone.

Im compeltly fucked up emotionally, mentaly and physically right now. I think Im going to take a break till after the week end. Its a short break. But even a day or two away is good for me sometimes.

I miss talking to you, Con...

Sita
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