Thursday, March 16, 2006

Forgive me for running off to find the one thing I have to do.
Each night you can fall asleep assured that someday I’ll be coming home to you.
These constant reminders in everything I see.
The chance of a lifetime…what a great place to be.
Don't Hate Me- Get Up Kids

...


So many things to think and talk about....

Im just tired... thats all... somethings fell apart and new pieces were found and the puzzle inside the box isnt quite the same as the picture on the outside... but.... its close enough and things are ok for now...

Oh how naive we were to assume we could be treated as adults in a world where they expect you to be grown up at 16.... I fucking hate some of societie's rules...
Sita
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Her teachings in every day.
And boy I know she ain't preaching, but I feel the need to pray.
She's like the ocean size pounding on my shores.
Knocking down all my walls, opening up all my doors.
Bound to Ramble- John Butler Trio

In response to the comments yesterday...
#^.^#

ummmm.... So... plans for my day off were as such...
!) post
@) do stuff on the comp till I passed out or someone sent me to bed
#) wake up around 2 ish and do laundry and stuff
$) Go watch movies with Tiga and Dory

Heres how it really went
!) posted
@) talked to Howee for a bit
#) passed out in bed
$) woke up twice to decline plans with Tiga and Dory then went back to sleep
%) woke up around 7 to re-instate plans with Tiga and Dory
^) watched movies, drank slushies and ate smarties
&) went home and harrased Zanorich till bed time again ((Obviously thats how I expect the rest of the night to go.... for all I know... There might be a fire or something... Maybe I'll blow up Poland....))

So.... no laundry..... and I slept for a good 12 hours... Shwaaa!! All in all... its been good... now to set to work fixing the site.... I think I can do it if I work at it.... but... no promises.... ciao!!
Sita

Add On

Well... I fixed the site... It reminds me of my One Point theme... So I call this one my Light Point theme cause the angel is all white and stuff.... Back ground music is back... My site is probably going to be a bitch for Con to load agian.... Everything is right in the world of Sita... well..... more or less.... oh... and because I forgot earlier... 10 more days... Hopefully... cross your fingers.... *crosses fingers*
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

It won't do me any good it's just a waste of time
What use is it to you what's on my mind
If it ain't comin out we're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it yeah
Things I'll Never Say- Avril Lavigne

Despite my dislike of pop-punk-ish things... I really do like that album by Avril...

....

Yeah.... Did I mention the feelings of nausea lately?

*cough*

And the site is under construction... I want to do it pretty.... like it use to be... but I need to work on it... major over haul... or not.... we'll see..... Im not even sure when it will be fixed again.... I'm pretty sure Ill put the chat box back up though.... I actually use that thing now that Zanorich uses it to comment.... and speaking of Zanorich.... 11 more days ^.^
Sita
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Monday, March 13, 2006

I'm on fire
And the day is feeling hopeless
You'd see me burning
But the burning's turning smokeless
Soon I won't feel at all - No
Break Myself- Something Corporate

*shrugs*

Im tired


Add On and Shit

What you want to say,
Wait till you get home.
I'm sick of communicating over the telephone.
But tell me how you feel,
For I am lonely too
Need you to know
I'm just as cold and numb as you.

But I could fly away,
Or I could be no one.
And you could be the
Sunshine falling over the Mountains

And you could come to stay
Yes you could come right home
Don't see why I have to
Live this life all alone.

I know there is a way to make up for old Mistakes
And I know what's happening is for a reason
I know...
What You Want- John Butler Trio

So... The day was ok... I suppose... despite having some lovely mood swings at the end of the day.... Fuck... its not even a plurl.... it was just one big swing... I was fine one minute... then the next... I'm thinking back to this one minute I had at work the other night that involved my wrist, my safety knife... and a few un-settling thoughts. And its stupid because things arent even bad... I was really happy earlier.... I've just been having a few withdrawl moments as of late I guess... I'm a bit tired of having to worry about money, what I say to people, and how people see me... Not that I cared that much to begin with.... but its nice to know you can afford food everyday, not offending people unintentionally, and not having to worry about how I look. I almost think I might take a break from this account and move to my other one for a bit.... just for a bit of breathing room... we'll see though... bitching is bitching and at least I know people read this...
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Sunday, March 12, 2006

So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait
For us to hang out
I'm really missing it
In so many ways
Making Out- No Doubt

So... for those that missed yesterdays post.... oh well... cut the hair again... It currently has a 80's punk look to it... but thats only because I messed it up the minute I got out of the hair salon place thinger... anyway... 13 days... If you dont know what Im counting down to... Meh on you... ummm... and for those that want a sneak at what Im planing for my site next.... go here ummmm... I had something else.... but I forgot again.... Its been close to 36 hours and all I had was a power nap.... so... its time for bed now.... ciao all
Sita
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Saturday, March 11, 2006

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
Landing in London- 3 Doors Down

ummmmmm... Ok... first off... I know Im not really religious.... but I do know the main gears behind Easter..... so... can some one please tell me.... When the fuck did it have to do with Spongebob Squarepants, Firetrucks, and King Kong?
*cough*
Speaking of King Kong.... I had a dream a few nights back.... it involved King Kong... My little sister, my Grandmother, my aunt, and the cast from Charmed.... If anyone can figure that one out.... by all means.... explain....
Other issue... despite the fact that I'm no longer employed at Showcase.... they managed to screw me over by neglecting to inclue my vacation pay and bonus for selling a massage chair in the last week I was there.... that and I have a sneaking suspicion that I wasnt paid for all the hours I worked...... so.... Monday.... Im going in and bitching..... They own me close to $300 dollars... so.... yeah.... bit irked it wasnt on my last pay cheque...

In other issues that I wanted to complain about.... errrrr....
Ok.... no excuse to be lazy.... I got the day to waste....
So... "issues" seem to occur regularly between Tiga and Dory.... The whole freaking relationship is based off them pissing each other off though... so.... its kinda expected.... Its something along the lines that if Tiga doesn’t have something to complain about that involves Dory.... I get a bit paranoid... Meh..... whatever....
So.... its fairly easy to look at that relationship and know how I would prefer things to work... I could personally do with out the majority of the stupid arguments. I dont NEED to be with them every bloody free minute I have..... But its nice to have quality time... ((this is the point I want to rant about so bear with me as I try to sort my thoughts... ))... Its expected that the relationship works to the point where you know the main ways to piss the other person off and you try to avoid doing such things. At least most of the time... XD. So... back to the rant... Tiga and Dory spend alot of time together.... thats probably how they manage to have so many fights and arguments... So... anyway.... long story shortened... Dory has an issue with becoming to attached to the X-Box... at certain... WRONG times... *cough* I hate details... so... Hes stupid enough to pull this crap continuously.... Tiga is stupid enough to put up with it... Hes suppose to be having game night tonight (Friday) and Tiga is a bit ticked cause she wants to spend time with him..... now... he really doesnt have that many nights that he goes out to play x-box... its maybe... once a week... once every two weeks... generally the x-box-ing that occurs is at his house while she sits beside him... last time he had a game night she got all moody and stuff.... She does it all the time... I dunno.... there are powers at work that I cant even begin to comprehend at this point....
To get to some sort of point.... or lack of one XD...
Im walking.... discussing stuff with Stacie... Its easy to dissect a relationship when your on the sidelines and know how it should work....
Logic makes alot of guidelines and its easy to see them when your a few steps back.... not so easy to see when your standing between them....
*deep breath*
I happen to mention the want to talk to a certain person (this is back with talking to Stacie) and she rolls her eyes and says something along the lines of "You may like the person and you may love the person *blagh blagh blagh I stopped fully listening at this point* but you dont need to see/talk them everyday"
*blinks*... *deep breath*
The whole point of a relationship... at least instinctively.. is to find a mate..... Humans for the most part generally choose and stay with one mate their entire life... Of course thats becoming a less and less true statement.... but..... historically and viewed from a scientific stand point.... Humans choose one mate. That is what a relationship is a test of.... There is no bloody point to being with a person you cant stand.... suggesting that a relationship leads to marriage (or a similar state)… Your going to have to get use to waking up next to that person… your going to have to get use to them BEING there. You will generally see them everyday…. At least in theory…. Which always works under test conditions but never works in the real world.
All things considered…. Are you going to have to see your mate every day? No… Is it nice and will you want to? Ummm…. In general yes?

This all of course depends on many factors and conditions. Age of the relationship… Mental conditions of the people involved…. Sometimes they like to have alone time…. Activity level and social interactions outside of the said relationship… WHATEVER! Im taking that into account…

Heres what I think… personally… I would like a relationship where you don’t necessarily see the person every day… I would like to at least be able to say hello or leave a message… and get one in return… I don’t know… like I said…. It all works in theory…. But hardly in life…. Sue me….
*sigh*
Im really trying to put it all in order…. I really am…. But its early… I’ve been thinking about this all night… to many thoughts to keep it all in order…. Especially when there’s exceptions to the rules….

Anyway…. There… I ranted…. The majority of it is incomplete… Ill rant about other stuff later… Hopefully Ill have my new lay out up tonight and my hair will be cut off… XP not really…. Just a trim…. But that’s at three and I’ve already decided that Im just not going to sleep for at least 48 hours.
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Friday, March 10, 2006

Piece by piece and bit by bit,
I'll break this down for you real slow.
But I can't whisper all of this,
And can't seem to let this go.
Only Ashes- Something Corporate

First issue to address.... They let me use the pallet jack at work.
Whoot!

Second issue.... Its not so much drepressing as odd waves of desperation.... Mostly having to do with certain people being away for a while... Ummmm... *mumble*

Third issue... I think something is wrong with me.... I spend alot of time reviewing past recent personal events during my quiet time at work... and for some odd reason... I tend to start smiling despite the fact Im lifting heavy boxes... I blame Zanorich... >.<

Fourth issue... ummmm... ehhhh.... I think my co-workers are finally starting to realize Im insane... I laid down a plot to kill Alfred Sung today.... well... He deserves it.... I mean... with the money and the fact that I'm lifting HIS products? He should mysteriously choke on something... and leave me his money..... same goes for Dora the Expolorer....

No seriously.... I just started babbling at one point today... it was kinda scary...

Fifth issue.... Im really starting to get pissed at some of the double standards that I've been noticing as of late... long story short.... Im considering becoming a hermit and shutting my phone off so I just dont have to be a part of it... I dont mind becoming antisocial.... Maybe I'll explain later... I highly doubt it though... it involves alot of explaining and Im lazy.... If you really want to know... (( which I doubt you do )) Im aways around....

Sixth issue.... Im done.... ciao all.
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Thursday, March 9, 2006

I know that you’ve already told me
You don’t like the new me at all
You told me that you miss the old me
And that I couldn’t be happy at all ‘cause?
I Refuse- Sense Field

Its kinda funny.... I was sitting in my room... listening to a particular song.... and I just got this sudden desperate urge... and I nearly started to cry...

Other times, lately, I've just felt a sudden feeling of pointlessness and had the urge to drop to my knees...

Its kinda funny... cause really... all things considered... My life isnt really that bad right now... could be better.... but it could be alot worse....

Heres to everyone who puts up with the shit with fairly little bitching...
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Wednesday, March 8, 2006

I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days - my reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much
Break Myself- Something Coprorate

So... in.... 12 minutes I will had done a uhhhh.... *goes to find a calculator*
7 to 7= 24 + to another 7... ummmm... 31 hours? wht does that seem wrong? I know why..... 24 +12= 36... ok... better..... *cough* yeah..... I quit math when I quit school... sue me.... 17 of that was work cause I stuck around an hour late to do extra work and get a bit of extra cash.... so thats all hard labour with the lifting and the back ache and the owww... ummm... long story short.... Im going to sleep as soon as I post.... I'm running on the last little spurts of RedBull fuled energy... My brain is getting the squished feel to it.... like... the brain itself is being squished but the skull is actually getting bigger... at about 2 in the afternoon yesterday I couldnt stop giggling at the stupidest things... I fixed that by having an Icecap... and by fix I mean made worse... tired + hyper + me = scary picture.... ummmm I actaully had something I wanted to post about... but amazingly I forgot what it was... that tends to happen alot when Im tired too.... I think of stuff and forget it 10 minutes later.... my phone is back!! not all paid >.> but I can look after that in a few days... First phone call I get is from the cause my bill is so high... He gives me shit for not being able to reach me for 6 days... I gave him shit for racking my bill up and told him to bugger off unless it was important... I still dont think he understood why NO ONE was able to call me for 4 days... and I was kinda ignoring him for about 2 days prior to that to try to reduce the cost of the bill.... to little to late I think.... Stupid stalkers.... You give em a little freedom and they walk all over you... like muffins... I think.... anyway... Yay for Redbull... but its time to clip the damn wings.... so much to do and so little time...
Oh... and I think I might try to work on a new theme... thought Im not sure.... I want a new look but lack inspiration to make one..... *sigh* bloody hell...

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006

So come and talk to me
On my computer screen
The best years of our lives
Aren't as easy as they seem
But one day we'll look back
And then we'll have to laugh
The Clique- Good Charlotte

Ok.... so.... I wont do it again.... Im sorry.... And I hardly think my name will get on the Aussie News Al.... I'd be lucky if I made the E and C town News.... anyway... work was meh... life was meh... Went out with Stacie for a bit.... but that was the highlight of the day... I got ice cream... yep... it was good... mint chocolate chip.... mmmmm... better than pudding... and yes Al... your a dumpling... cause I said so.... and sleeping during the day gives me odd ideas.... one of which being your a dumpling.... actually.... I've been thinking alot lately and.... as usual Im comming up with no answers.... havent heard from Ramses for about two weeks... *sighs* Is it bad I've kinda given up with out even trying? I mean... at least other individuals gave me notice as to their departure and planned return... I didnt even really get a heads up on this one.... But meh I guess.... Things to deal with when they arise... and till then.... no point in getting stressed over people living their lives...
Sita
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